Who am I?
by ephiny63
Summary: COMPLETE Set after S2 opener...sam's been missing for 2mths, after an exhaustive search and with help from Ash Dean finds him...the only catch is he is in hospital, suffering amnesia and traumatised. What happened to Sammy? Rated MA for future evilness
1. Chapter 1

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

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CHAPTER 1

The ambulance careened around the corner, the sirens blaring through the early morning traffic. 'We're losing him.' The paramedic in the back yelled to the driver as she pushed valuable oxygen into his lungs.

'We're almost there.' The driver yelled back as he shot through the last set of traffic lights and blasted his horn to clear the way to the ambulance bay at the hospital's emergency department. Running urgently through the doors the paramedics accompanied their patient into a cubicle barking stats at the doctors and nurses as they flooded in around him. 'Pulse thready, BP eighty over fifty, pupils dilated, had to resuscitated twice at the scene and again on route, blunt force head trauma, unresponsive to pain stimuli.' The female paramedic reported. The doctor stared down at his newest patient, his features barely distinguishable under the blood, bruising, and grime and shook his head, so young to be hurt so badly.

'Get the mobile x-ray here now I don't want to risk moving him anymore until we get some idea on what's going on.' The doctor ordered, 'any ID?'

'Nope, an anonymous call came in on 911; he was unconscious when we found him.'

'This isn't trauma from an MVA?'

'Nope, we got the call to attend and he was in this condition ... the police are looking into it.' The paramedic shrugged as she finished loading their gear back onto the gurney, 'not much to go on though.'

'Poor kid, how old do you think he is?'

'Dunno twenty, twenty-two maybe.'

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Dean woke with a start and stared around blearily, he was still sitting behind the wheel of the impala but after almost crashing he pulled over to get some much needed sleep, even a catnap was better than nothing.

He refused to glance over at the empty passenger seat where Sam normally sat; he was not going to go there. For two months, he searched for any sign of Sam, using all of his hunter knowledge and contacts but it was pointless, for all intents and purposes Sam was gone.

Sitting up straight, he stared at the stranger in the rear vision mirror, unshaven, with dark circles under his eyes and sunken cheeks he looked like a shadow of the man he once was.

'Come on baby let's go check in with Ellen.' Dean muttered as he turned the key and the car roared into life, 'just you and me again baby.'

As he pulled into the roadhouse's car park, Dean ached with exhaustion, physical and emotional and he sat staring at the building for a few minutes as he remembered the first time he came here with Sam. Not that long after their Dad's death Sam found an old message from an Ellen and they tracked her here, since then the brother's found a haven and company from Ellen, her daughter Jo and Ash.

Forcing himself out of the car, he locked her carefully and staggered towards the door, dusting his clothes off as he moved. Standing just inside he waited for his eyes to adjust to the duller light before he continued to the bar and sank down on a stool.

'Honey you look terrible.' Ellen greeted him as she put a beer down in front of him, 'why don't you go and stretch out on the bed out back?'

'Nah I'm fine Ellen, thanks.'

'Hey Dean ... dude glad you're here got something for ya.' Ash hurried out carrying his laptop in one hand while using his other hand to finish pulling his jeans up.

'What is it Ash?'

'Was trolling the usual spots when I came across a human interest story. A month ago a young man was rushed to hospital suffering severe head injuries and stuff in a coma.'

'And?' Dean prompted him impatiently, praying it isn't another false lead.

'He's been in a coma, but came out of it last week. The only thing is that he has no memory at all, nothing, nada, zip, so they put out his story hoping someone will know him. Dude ... they put a picture up.' Ash turned his computer around and tilted it for Dean to see the screen clearly.

Propped up in a wheelchair, looking pale and lost was Sam Winchester. 'Holy fuck Ash does it say which hospital?'

'Would you believe the hospital in Laurence Kansas?'

'He's home?' Dean couldn't believe what Ash was telling him, he kept staring at the photo of Sam as though if he stopped then it would disappear.

'I have to go.'

'Dean you're in no condition to drive...' Ellen started to protest but Dean was gone leaving the bar door swinging in his wake.

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The young man sat staring out of the hospital window watching the people moving around outside. The sun warm through the window but he still shivered uncontrollably. He tried to shake the remnants of his nightmare from his thoughts but all he could see in his mind was fire, flames devouring everything and everyone he knew.

'Hey Handsome want some lunch?' Nurse Kelly Rogers came up remembering to speak as she approached him, he spooked very easily and the last time someone scared him he became hysterical and had to be sedated, that and his fits from the effects of his head injury made all of the staff treat him very carefully.

'Hey Kelly, nah not really hungry.' He said glancing up at the pretty young woman, her blond hair framing her face prettily and her ruby red lips formed a permanent sexy pout, she looked so much like someone, he just wished he could remember.

'Nope, not the right answer, remember Johnny, if you don't eat the doctor is going to order tube feeding for you.'

He screwed his nose up at the thought of being force fed and relented to the tray of food. Sighing heavily he nibbled on the corner of a sandwich triangle and managed to swallow the dry bread and cold meat. After a couple of mouthfuls, he gave up on the sandwich and drank his glass of milk thirstily.

'Well better than nothing.' Kelly grinned as she perched herself on an armchair next to him, 'when you're finished I have to take you down to x-ray.'

'Why? Nothing's changed.'

'Doctor's orders,' She smiled, 'we're gonna get you better Johnny.'

Johnny, the name haunted him as much as his dreams, he knew someone by that name but it wasn't his. 'Kelly did I have anything on me when they brought me in?'

'Nope, I wasn't on duty that night but apparently you were only in a pair of jeans, no shirt, no shoes, socks or anything.'

'Oh, and no ID?'

'Johnny you ask me that every day.'

'Do I?'

'You sure do Honey, not that I don't mind. Anyway eat the rest of your lunch and I'll be back.'

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Dean tossed his latest speeding ticket on the pile on the backseat and floored the car as soon as the police were out of sight. He was only two hours out of Laurance, two hours away from a reunion with Sam.

Sam, the report said that he has no memory at all, total amnesia. 'Would that mean me too Sammy?' He whispered.

Hauling the last of his possessions into the motel room Dean locked the door behind him, automatically spreading salt across the doorway and windows before going into the bathroom for a much needed hot shower.

Dressed and shaved he felt almost human again, he considered going to the hospital and demanding to see Sam, but he had to do this right.

After talking with Sam's doctor for half an hour, Dean decided to sleep before going to the hospital; apparently, Sam was busy in radiology and having a new round of tests and wouldn't be available for a while.

Dean paced the waiting room feeling like a caged wild animal the doctor kept him waiting for an hour before he relented in letting him see Sam. The questions came thick and fast before the doctor gave any information on Sam's condition.

Kelly walked Dean to Sam's room curious to see what would happen when they met again, Sam ... the name still sounded strange to her, he was still Johnny in her mind.

'Don't startle him, he spooks very easily and well ... just be careful okay.' She cautioned Dean for the third time. Dean gave her a withering look and refrained from shooting off a sharp remark, she was just doing her job.

'Johnny ... we have a visitor for you.' Kelly said indicating for Dean to stay back for a moment she walked slowly over to Sam, who sat once again staring out the window.

'A visitor?' Sam blinked and turned to stare at the new arrival. 'Who is he?'

'He's your brother.' Kelly said gently, 'Johnny we know who you are now.'

'Who am I?'

'Sammy?' Dean's voice hoarse with pent up emotion came from the other end of the room, 'Sammy it's so good to see you.'

'Who are you?' Sam asked frowning at the man.

'I ah I'm you big brother Dean.'

'Dean?' Sam tilted his head to one side as he contemplated the name, he could hear a distant voice screaming out that name, shuddering when he realised that it was his own voice. 'Dean?'

'Yeah Sammy it's me.'

'My name is Sammy?' Sam screwed his nose up, 'prefer Sam.'

'Now that's my boy.' Dean half-laughed, half-wept. 'Dude I have been so worried about you.'

'Dean ... I'm Sam?' Sam tested the names again; they felt right. 'Who's John?'

Dean started with a fright, hoping not to have to bring up the trauma of their father's death already. 'John was our Dad's name.'

'Was?'

'He ah died six months ago.' Dean fought to control his tumultuous emotions, 'the doctors said a stroke.'

'What about our Mum?'

'She died when you were six months old Sam, it's just been us and Dad until recently.' Dean said sadly.

'Oh.' Came the simple reply. 'Do I have a girlfriend or anything?'

_'Oh for a flying fuck's sake Sammy_', 'once ... her name was Jess.'

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

CHAPTER 2

'Jess?' Sam repeated the name a few times, his eyes filled with tears, 'don't remember her.'

'It's okay John ... Sam you can't expect your memory to come back in two minutes.' Kelly said patting his arm soothingly, 'how about I leave you two guys to talk for a while?'

'Thanks.' Sam tried to smile but it turned out more like a grimace.

'You okay Hon? If you're too tired I'm sure Dean won't mind.'

'Sorry lady but for now I don't want to let Sam outta my sight, I have been searching for him for over two months.'

'Two months?' Sam looked up questioningly. 'I thought ... it was only a month.'

'Dude you disappeared in another town, in another state, I've been looking for you ever since.'

'Two months?' Sam repeated, he returned his attention to the window while he thought about everything, his own name, his brother here, no parents, it felt so real and yet it felt like it was someone else's life. But why couldn't he remember Jess? If she was his girlfriend, then why? Sam blinked and turned back to the young man sitting quietly in the chair next to him; he said nothing but watched him with a curious look of mixed relief and grief.

Kelly had silently left the room, leaving the brothers to reunite, two months missing and now Dean is facing a brother who has no idea who he is. She stood just outside the door watching them; they sat in a companionable silence the sight bring a small smile to her pretty face, they even sat in similar positions although Sam was a taller than Dean they looked like they were family. Sam, it still felt a little strange to hear it, let alone say it but that was it, Johnny Doe no longer exists.

'Where ... where was I when...?'

'We were ... ah working in Alma Nebraska, you stepped out to get coffee and...'

'And I didn't come back?'

'That's about it!' Dean gave Sam a lopsided grin, 'what do you remember Sammy?'

Sam turned and stared at Dean, his face clouded and closed to his brother, he couldn't read it for the first time ever. 'Ah not much, until I woke up here, I ah get flashes...'

Sam winced and pinched the bridge of his nose, 'people's faces are all blank though ... ah...' He dropped his face in his hands and moaned with the sudden pain.

'Sammy? Talk to me, what do you see?' Dean asked his voice calm and low, he didn't want the doctors or that pretty nurse to witness Sam's vision fits just yet, unless he has already had them? 'What is it Sam?'

'I ah ... flames, so many flames...' Sam winced again and dropped to his knees, his breath became laboured as he tried to stay focused.

_Flames burst around the nursery, a young dark haired woman pinned to the ceiling with blood seeping from a large gash in her stomach. A dark silhouetted figure watching and laughing. The baby lay in the crib gurgling as the figure picked him up and disappeared with him, just as the woman's body crumbled into ash and bone and the room exploded into a blazing fire._

'Sam?'

'Dean ... what's happening to me?'

'Just before I explain that what did you see?'

'Fire, a – a nursery, fire all around the crib with a baby in it, a young dark haired woman pinned ... oh god Dean she was pinned to the ceiling with blood pouring from a cut in her stomach. Then, then, then it was watching and laughing and then – then it took the baby and disappeared.' Sam turned a pale face to his re-found brother, 'what's happening to me?'

'Okay, just one more thing please don't freak out with what I am going to tell you.'

'Freak out? Ah that really doesn't reassure me.'

'Okay, last year when you turned twenty-two...'

'I'm twenty-two?'

'Actually now you're twenty-three but you started to have these nightmares.'

'So I'm not just getting them now because of ... whatever happened to me?'

'No, and then well then they started to come true, soon you started to have them during the day, like visions. Like now, and they all come true ... one way or another but you do suffer when you have them.'

'Visions? So I'm some sort of psychic freak?'

'Nope, well geek more than freak but hey no one's perfect.'

'And I have these visions ... okay so are they always about fire or death?' Sam asked staring at his brother, 'Dean?'

'Basically ... ah death, they seem to be about someone dying.'

'Do I ... have I ever?'

'Ah ... okay so we focus on you getting you well and outta here so we can get your memory back on track.'

'Why did you change the subject?'

'We try Sam we really try to get there in time, but sometimes Dude it just happens.'

'Am I at school or anything?'

'You went to Stanford and did pre-law.'

'Stanford?' Sam frowned and chewed his lower lip, 'I-I ah no it's nothing.'

'That's where you met Jess.' Dean said softly and then sat back and watched the news play across Sam's face as he desperately tried to remember Jess.

'Dean? Dean why can't I ... okay I feel right with you, your name sounds right, our Dad's name ... when they called me Johnny, I knew it wasn't my name but that it sounded familiar like it was a family name. But Jess ... nothing at all ... did we have a bad break up?'

'Not exactly, you were going to ask her to marry you.'

'What happened?'

'Sammy maybe you've had enough for today.'

'Dean tell me about Jess.'

'I didn't really know her that well. I only met her once.'

'But you said that I was going to ask her to marry me. Jess I was going to ask Jess to marry me.'

'Yeah, shit Sam this is gonna take a while to explain our whole lives to you but for now, you and Dad well you loved each other but well you fought, about anything and everything. You didn't agree with our lifestyle so when you got accepted to Stanford you and Dad had a huge fight, the biggest ever and you left. We didn't hear from you for two years, just over a year ago I came to see you to help me with a – a family problem. When you got back to school Jess ... Jess died in a fire, you decided to stay with me and not finish Law School for a while.'

'She died in a fire? Did I?'

'Yeah, that was one of the first nightmares you had, it took you ages to even tell me.'

'Dean what do we do?'

Dean opened his mouth to answer him but then closed it again, he tried to think of a way to explain their rather unique job description, when Nurse Kelly came back into the room carrying Sam's food tray.

'Hey guys how's it going?'

'Okay I guess.'

Kelly frowned when she saw the paleness of Sam's face, the dark rings around his eyes and the drawn look he gets when he has a headache. 'You okay Sam?'

'Fine, thanks Kelly, what's that?'

'Dinner.' She said with a sweet smile placing the tray in front of him, 'remember you have to eat the lot.'

'Kelly?'

'All of it, Dean just so he thinks he can get around you, your brother here hasn't been eating and has actually lost weight while he has been here, and that's after he came out of his coma.' Kelly said with a warm smile they are both so cute, 'the doctor said that if he doesn't start eating and putting on weight then he will have to be fed through a tube.'

'Sam?' Dean turned to look at his rather shamefaced younger brother, some things never change, 'yeah well, he ah has kinda always been like that, stressed or over-tired he stops eating, but when he does eat ... well yeah he eats.'

'So I can trust you to make sure he finishes his stew and vegetables?' Kelly winked at Dean and turned her grin to Sam, 'it's good having someone else on my side!'

'No probs Nurse Kelly, I'll make sure he eats it all.' Dean grinned up at her, Sam stared at both of them and rolled his eyes before turning a worried glance at the pool of gelatinous mess of some sort of stew.

Sam waited for Kelly to leave before pushing the plate away and drank his milk instead.

'Dude you have to eat ... you heard you Nurse you have to eat ... ' Dean picked the plate up and looked at it, 'eww gross Dude they have you eating this stuff? No wonder you refuse it.'

'It's totally gross Dean.' Sam grinned enjoying having a co-conspirator for a change even if he is only a shadowed memory. 'I try but ... you should've seen the lunch they gave me.'

'How bout I take you down to the café and get something nice and fresh?' Dean grinned, 'must warn you though I aint no wheelchair pusher.'

'It's cool, what about Kelly?'

'Well if we see her then...' Dean patted Sam's shoulder and started pushing the chair towards the door, 'let's get you out of this room for a start.'

Dean's monologue about hospitals sucking so much had Sam laughing the entire way to the cafeteria downstairs, for the first time in a long time he felt calm and relaxed.

Happy to have an avid audience Dean expanded his stories of their childhood slightly, relieved to see Sam smiling instead of frowning.

'What Dean?' Sam asked as he noticed Dean staring at him.

'Just good to see you again man, I thought ... I thought that nah it doesn't matter.'

'Dean, I ah I really wish I could remember you.'

'You will Dude, you will.'

Sam started to ask Dean another questions when he looked over his brother's shoulder and frowned, 'what is it Sammy?' Dean asked turning around.

'It's nothing ... I guess.' Sam frowned and started to shake uncontrollably. 'Dean can you take me back now please?'

'Yeah sure, Sam what's wrong you're starting to worry me.'

'I ah have to get out of here now please Dean.'

When Dean settled Sam back in his hospital bed he pulled a large overstuffed chair up close to the bed and sat down before he said anything else. 'What happened down there Sam what did you see?'

'I ah ... nah you'll think I'm mad or something.'

'Nope, believe me that is one thing that well ... nah what is it Sam what did you see?'

'First I thought it was a man but then it had glowing eyes.'

'Glowing eyes? Son of a ... okay anything else Sam, doesn't matter how stupid it sounds.'

'He, it stared right at me with those glowing eyes and then it just disappeared.'

'Fuck, okay Sammy we need to get you out of here as soon as possible.'

'Dean, what's going on? One minute you're telling me about our childhood now you're telling me that I have to get out of here.'

'First that motherf ... fugly thing is probably what did this to you or had a hand in it and if he has tracked you here then Sammy you're in danger again.'

'Now I am a freak.'

'No, no you are not a freak ... okay the short of it is something came into you nursery when you were six months old, it pinned Mum to the ceiling and sliced open her stomach over your crib, Dad got you and handed you to me and I carried you out of the house, Dad followed ... Mum died. Since then Dad raised us to hunt things, it's the family business, supernatural things Sammy.'

'That ... that's what Dad and I argued about? I didn't want to hunt anymore?'

'Yeah that's right.'

'Dad said if I walk out the door then I couldn't come back?'

'Something like that, trust you to remember that when you can't remember my handsome face!'

'Dean, we hunt things? I have visions? Mum died in a fire and Jess ... oh God Jess.'

'Sammy what is it?' Dean jumped up as he watched his brother crumble before him, his body shaking with small tremors, as his breathing became erratic, his eyes rolled upwards, and his eyelids started to flicker. 'Fuck Sammy, what's wrong?' Dean punched the call button and yelled for help.

Suddenly the room filled with uniformed beings bustling around Sam with machines and monitors pushing Dean further away from his baby brother. Chewing his lower lip until he could taste the saltiness of his own blood Dean watched them working to stop Sam's fitting.

'Dean!' Sam's anguished scream cut through the room, 'leave me alone I want my brother.'

Dean pushed past the doctors and nurses to his brother's side and gripped his hand, 'I'm right here Sammy, I'm not going anywhere.'

'Dean?' Sam stared at him for a moment and then sighed and closed his eyes, 'you're gonna be here when I wake up?'

'Nothing, and no one can get rid of me Dude, you're stuck with me now.' Dean grinned weakly as he watched Sam give in to the drugs and drift off to sleep.

'What the fuck was that Doc?' He demanded turning to face the man standing behind him.

'Sam has had fits since the coma, as I explained before he had a severe head injury but we had to wait for him to wake from the coma before we could ascertain the extent of brain injury.'

'And? I hear you talking Doc but you're not saying much.'

'If your brother's fits continue then we may have to look at surgical interventions as a worst case scenario or medication for the rest of his life to control them.'

'So it's either or ...'

'Basically yes, I am sorry young man but as I told you earlier the fact that your brother is even alive is remarkable.'

'Yeah you said that Doc, listen how soon can I move him?'

'What do you mean move him? Move him where?'

'Home Doc, we have family that want to see him, where he has more chance to regain his memory, surrounded by family, friends ... home.'

'This is not a good idea, yes Sam has been on the improve but he still has a long road ahead of him, with rehab, therapy and as I said treatment for his fits.'

'Look Doc, you have done a great job but I am sorry I can get him medical help at home I promise.'

'How soon are you planning on this?'

'Tomorrow preferably.'

'Tomorrow ... did you see what just happened to your brother?'

'Yes sir but...'

'I know, I know, I do understand your desire to get Sam home, amongst friends and family but ... if he shows improvement tomorrow then I will release Sam the day after.'

'Okay I can work with that.'

'Glad I can accommodate you.' The doctor replied a little harsher than he intended.

'How long is Sam gonna be out for?' Dean asked not willing to push his luck with the physician anymore.

'Hours, usually after a fit he doesn't rouse until the next day, why?'

'I just have to go and pick up some things and then I'll be right back if that's okay.'

'He seems to need you close by so yes that will be fine.'

Dean drove back to the motel and paid for the room before packing the car and returning to the hospital in breakneck speed. After finding a secure enough car park for the impala. Before he went upstairs, he made two phone calls, one to Ellen and Ash to let them know that he had found Sammy and if Ash could do some digging for information and then he rang an old friend in Laurence. Well he didn't exactly lie to the doctor, but even if they stayed in Laurence Sam was in danger in the hospital his seeing the demon sealed Dean's suspicions.

Low whimpers and moans came from Sam's private room when Dean arrived just outside his door, bursting in he caught a glimpse of another person in the room before they disappeared. 'Sammy?' Dean cried hoarsely as he raced to his brother's side.

'Dean?' Sam panted out clutching at his brother's hand, 'what was it?'

'A demon.'

'He – he put his hands on me, I thought that I was going to burn up.'

'Fuck Sammy I am so sorry, I only went to get the stuff from the motel room so I could stay with you, the bastard must have been watching for a chance to get to you ... did he hurt you?'

'No, it was only a minute or so before you ... Dean my arm...' Sam stared down at the burn forming on his forearm, a perfect circle with an inverted cross in the centre.

'We have to get you out of here Sam, we can't wait for the doctor, do you feel well enough for a little breakout?'

'Yeah I think so.' Sam gave Dean a shaky smile and tried to avoid looking at the burn. Carefully Dean settled Sam into his wheelchair and tucked a blanket over his knees, and then they crept quietly out of the room, leaving the door closed and the lights off.

'Okay just have to get out of the last door and we're free and clear Sammy.' Dean whispered as they headed towards the exit.

'Let's get out of here.' Sam whispered his eyes fixed on the burn, 'I want to get out of here.'

Minutes later Dean helped Sam into the passenger seat of the impala, hid the wheelchair in the shadows and climbed in behind the wheel. He sat there for a moment watching Sam take in the interior of the car.

'What is it Dean?' Sam asked looking up and meeting his steady gaze.

'It's so good to see you riding shotgun again Sammy.' Dean finally got out, his voice thick with emotion.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

CHAPTER 3

Dean settled Sam into the soft bed and drew the blankets up under his chin, before sitting on the edge next to him. 'So kiddo you feel better?'

'Yeah thanks Dean ... so who is she again?' Sam whispered glancing at the shut door and then back at Dean.

'Missouri, she's a friend of Dad's a way back and she helped us once when we had a job here.'

'Oh, she seems nice.'

'Yeah and she's a psychic too,' Dean grinned conspiratorially and winked, 'she likes to think she sees and hears everything but I think she just likes to hear her own voice.'

'Dean!' Sam grinned and then he sobered and took Dean's hand in his own, wrapping his long thin fingers around Dean's slightly smaller hand, 'Dean I ah just want to ... thanks Dean.'

'What for Dude?'

'You didn't give up on me at all did you?'

'Nope, not once Sammy ... now no more chick flick moments I have a limit on how many a year we have and that limit has well and truly been met,' Dean smirked patting Sam's shoulder, 'get some sleep Dude you look like a wreck.'

'You don't look so good either.'

'Hmm if I didn't know better...'

'Dean.'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'It's Sam not Sammy.'

Dean gave Sam a lop-sided smile before leaving him alone to sleep, quietly Dean padded downstairs in search of their host.

'I'm in here Dean,' she called from the kitchen, 'get your scrawny butt in here, and tell me what is going on.'

Dean sat down and eyed Missouri suspiciously for a moment before sipping the spicy coffee in front of him, 'Sam went missing a few months ago, poof, vanished just like that. Then, then I find him here in a hospital in another state ... just out of a coma and with no memory of who he is or anything.'

'What does he remember?' Missouri asked quietly watching Dean intently as she sipped her own hot drink.

'Not much, snippets of this and that ... he remembers basically what happened to Jess and about the big fight he had with Dad when he left for Stanford but the blanks out number the memories.'

'What did his doctors say and why is he out of hospital?'

'One question at a time lady okay?' Dean snapped a little harsher than he meant.

'Watch your tone with me boy.'

'Sorry, ah the doctors said that he had a serious head injury and was well lucky to be alive when they brought him in. He was in a coma for about a month, and since he came out of it ... he, he has fits.'

'Fits you say?'

'Yeah, anyway ... the doctors said he needs lots of therapy and rehab and treatment for the fits but otherwise he will slowly get better.'

'So why isn't he still in hospital?'

'Coz that fugly mother of a demon found him, twice ... Sam saw him and then he got into Sam's room. He caused that inverted cross brand on Sam's arm.'

'Oh,' Missouri sighed.

'Is that all you got to say? Oh?'

'Watch your tone with me boy, you're not too big to be at the receiving end...' Missouri started and then stopped herself when she saw the raw pain and exhaustion radiating from Dean's face, the drawn look and shadows around his eyes. 'Boy get yourself up to bed now, you need rest just as much as your brother does. Well what you doing still sitting there?'

'Thanks Missouri.' Dean smiled giving her a small kiss on her cheek he slowly made his way up to the room he was sharing with Sam.

Sam writhed in his sleep, his fingers twisted and fretted the blankets covering him, he screwed his eyes up tightly not wanting to see the images playing out before him. He moaned and tossed his head side to side as the sweat beaded on his forehead. His arm throbbed and burnt as the cross glowed with red embers embedded in his skin, 'please no more.' He whispered repeatedly, lifting one hand in front of his face to protect it, 'leave me alone.' He screamed.

'Sammy?' Dean cried out as he saw his brother squirming in the bed, drenched in a sheen of sweat, as he fought off attackers only he could see. 'Sammy, come on Dude open those puppy dog eyes of yours and look at me.'

'Dean!' Sam screamed as he sat upright, his chest heaving painfully as he gasped for breath, 'Dean?'

'Right here Dude.' Dean cupped Sam's face in his hands and made him focus, 'look at me Sam.'

'Dean it's you?'

'Yeah man, what happened?'

'My arm.' Sam held his arm out and showed Dean the glowing brand, 'it's burning me.'

'Not for long Sammy, you wait here okay ... don't move,' Dean ran from the room and came back mere moments later with an ice pack wrapped in a towel. With infinite care he wrapped it around the offending burn on Sam's arm, the instant relief clearly visible on Sam's face.

'Thanks.' He managed a weak smile as he fell back onto the pillows, 'so tired.'

'Sammy I need you to do something for me.'

'Yeah sure Dean.'

'I need you to stay awake for a while.' Dean said thoughtfully, 'we can sit up and talk ask me anything you want about our past.'

'Sure but why?'

'Whatever it attacking you, it does it when you're asleep getting to you through dreams and through heat. If you can stay awake for a while it might lose some of its power over you.'

'Oh okay, yeah sure,' Sam agreed but his confusion rang in his voice.

'So dude what do you want to know about?'

'Tell me more about when we were kids,' Sam asked as he settled back onto his pillows.

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She watched the two young men through the swirling mists, her anger abated now when she found them gone from her domain at the human place of healing and death she flew into a rage causing several heart monitors to crash killing the patients attached to them. She soon picked up the scent of the young one and found them hiding in the house of a psychic.

Now she watched them through her conjured mists, waiting for one of them to fall asleep giving her access to their dreams and fears.

The younger one was so tasty, with his muddled thoughts and scattered memories he was easy prey. Even though the Lord himself marked him as a personal quarry, she wanted to taste him once more. Then she could move on to the older one who exuded physical power and stamina, she could sense the sex on him.

She hissed as the psychic came in carrying another one of her useless charms, pathetic woman dabbling in things she knows nothing of. The flames in her eyes flared as she watched Missouri talk to the two males, she itched to send tiny flares into the female's dreams causing nasty stinging, but she behaved herself as the younger male caught her attention. He was weakening, his exhaustion taking over, soon, soon he will be in the realm, and then she can attack him. She no longer needed to pretend to be human, now she can attack in her true form.

---------------------------------------------------

Sam smiled sleepily as he listened to the light banter between his brother and the lady named Missouri, no surname.

His eyes got heavier as he yawned and soon drifted to sleep unable to stay awake any longer.

_'That's it sleep sweet boy, sleep.' A thin raspy female voice echoed through his weary mind, as his sleep deepened and his mind opened to the dreams that awaited behind the misty curtains._

_She waited for him to come to her, warmth and comfort came from her as he stumbled closer wanting to be nurtured and comforted by her. Her laugh tinkled down his spine sending shivers cascading down his nerve endings._

_She ran her fingers over his face and down his throat massaging the stress and tightness away, he could feel himself weaken but it didn't bother him as her ministrations continued over his chest. Her fingers spread his chest kneading the tight muscles and slowly trailing over his sensitive nipples. A small moan escaped from his throat as he felt himself melting at her touch. _

_Suddenly her fingers started to morph, changing until they became long and claw like with razor sharp talons, slicing through his flesh and muscle to where his life force throbbed deep inside him._

_His back arched and he screamed in agony as he felt his life draining out of him absorbed into her arms and claws._

_Two hands gripped his shoulders holding him tight and pulled him back from her, but it was too late, she had too tight of a grip on him._

Dean gripped Sam's shoulders as another shudder rippled through his baby brother, desperately he tried to wake Sam, but each time he did Sam screamed in agony, something seemed to be attacking him through his dreams and Dean was helpless to stop it.

Just then, Missouri climbed onto the bed next to Sam and placed her hands on each side of his face her fingers touching his temples, closing her eyes she started to chant in a language Dean had never heard before and definitely not the usual Latin they used in rituals. As Missouri continued, her chanting Sam started arching his back and bucking violently. Blood spurted from his mouth as he threw his head back and let out a heart-wrenching scream.

Missouri collapsed on the bed, unconscious and breathing rapidly, Dean checked her pulse and it was steady heaving a sigh of relief he returned his attention to Sam. His brother lay there watching him with dull eyes. His skin, especially his face had a grey tint to it, large black circles ringed his eyes, and they appeared sunken, deep into his sockets.

'Sammy, Sam come on dude talk to me,' Dean whispered brushing hair away from his brother's sweaty face, 'you're scaring me.'

'What happened?' Sam finally spoke gasping for each breath.

'Something attacked you in your dream Dude,' Dean sighed scrubbing his face with the heels of his palms, 'it nearly got you this time.'

'It was a she,' Sam whispered turning his head away from Dean suddenly feeling ashamed, 'she put her hands inside of me and...' Sam's voice trailed off and he just laid there in silence not trusting himself to speak.

'Missouri brought you back Sam, I'm not sure what she did but she brought you back.'

'Is she alright?'

'Yeah I think so, but you're a mess Sammy,' Dean chided him gently, 'how bout we get you in the shower?'

'That'll be good, thanks Dean.' Sam smiled wanly as he pulled himself up and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for the dizziness to pass.

----------------------------------------------------------

'You directly disobeyed me,' the dark Lord snarled gripping the dream demon around her neck, 'I said to leave the young psychic alone now that he was mine.'

'I – I know My Lord but he tasted so good, and he was such an easy prey.'

'Enough, I groomed him. I took him and his memory, even though he managed to escape from me I still own him. I found him again, you were only to watch him.'

'Please My Lord, I will not fail you again, just that his power it was ... intoxicating.'

'Enough, go back to your corner and stay there, you disgust me imp.' He tossed the hapless dream demon into the dark corner and smirked as she huddled into a ball and whimpered, 'I'm sorry My Lord,' repeatedly making it into a chant.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Who Am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

Author's Note: sigh sorry guys but for some reason I still can't upload any word documents so I had to save it as plain text and upload it that way, so if I have missed any formatting changes or punctuation that has gone missing, I am really sorry. Still ... at least I can upload my updates which is better than not being able to at all!!!

* * *

CHAPTER 4

Sam sat wrapped in a warm blanket but still shivering violently, he had given up trying to hold his coffee cup without spilling

the contents. He watched Dean through slitted eyes as his older brother enjoyed his breakfast, Missouri showing no signs

of her own ordeal last night chatted away to Dean but Sam couldn't hear what either one was saying.

Two young boys drifted into his thoughts, he could see them clearly.

_A younger one aged around nine, with dark brown hair and a permanent scowl on his face watching his big brother _

_carefully sharpen the hunting knife, his older brother looked around thirteen. A small smile played on Sam's lips as he _

_watched the brothers interact with each other, 'so Sammy you got it now, until Dad says so you're not allowed to touch the_

_ knife'  
_

_'Yeah I knows is just.'  
_

_'Just nothin' Sammy you might cut yourself or worse then Dad will have my ass not yours.'  
_

_'Not fair Dean, how come you get to do all the fun stuff.'  
_

_'Coz I am older, smarter, and better lookin' than you.'_

'Hey Sammy, earth to Sam Dude you okay?'

'Huh?' Sam blinked and stared up at Dean and Missouri with a confused look on his face, 'what's wrong?'

'Where were you man?' Dean asked squatting down in front of Sam so he was at eye level with his sibling.

'Oh, sorry I was just ... Dean ... I just remembered something,' Sam grinned at his brother, 'dude you should see the look on

your face.'

'What was it Sam? What did you remember?' Dean asked trying to tone down his own excitement.

'Umm, I guess you were around thirteen and I was nine, I was watching you clean your hunting knife, I thought it wasn't fair

that Dad let you do all the fun stuff and you said.'

'I said I'm older, smarter, and better looking than you.' Dean finished for Sam, 'then you tried to show me just how grown up

you were.'

'I – I sported a shiner for a week, and all Dad could say was that I should have ducked.' Sam laughed aloud, 'I think it's

starting to come back.'

'Slowly but surely Sam, but for now I want you to eat and drink and not have it come back!' Missouri said patting Sam's arm

in a motherly gesture. 'You're all skin and bone Samuel Winchester, and that I don't need any psychic stuff to know.'

'Yes Ma'am,' Sam ducked his head to hide his grin, Missouri ticked him off, it felt right it felt normal.

Dean watched his younger brother pick at his breakfast, he had eaten maybe two mouthfuls, the rest of the time he pushed

the food around his plate. 'Sammy do you want me to feed you like a baby?' he asked finally tired of watching him.

'What?' Sam asked unaware that Dean was watching him eat, 'I guess I'm not hungry.'

'Dude, eat please just humour me,' Dean asked a serious look descending over his handsome face masking the smile he

had earlier. 'You can't afford to keep losing weight, I don't want to take you back to the hospital but...' he let the implied

threat hang in the air as Sam took another small mouthful of bacon and scrambled eggs tentatively chewing and swallowing

with some effort.

'Dude you okay?' Dean asked ready to spring up and help Sam.

'Yeah I'm fine, I think my throat is still a little sore from all the tubes and stuff,' Sam mumbled washing the food down with a

sip of juice. 'Eww Missouri I think that your juice has soured.'

'Nonsense boy, it's just you so drink a little more and make me happy.' Missouri dismissed his protests with a wave of her

hand and a glance over to her overly large wooden spoon hanging on the wall. Finally, after finishing his juice and two more

mouthfuls of his breakfast Sam pushed himself away from the table and stood unsteadily, paling he put his hand out to

steady himself on the table a look of shock and then realisation played across his face, 'what did you?'

'Dean help you brother to his bed please, ' Missouri said as she cleared the dishes, 'I think he needs a nap.'

'Missouri what was in the juice?' Sam forced the words out, slurring them slightly as the sedative started to take affect.

'Me? Boy what you accusing me of?' Missouri feigned innocence as she watched Dean guide Sam to the bedroom.

'So Missouri what did you give Sam?' Dean demanded after he finished settling Sam into his bed, 'he's dead to the world'

'Just a little sleeping mix with a protection mix,' Missouri replied casually, 'he'll sleep and not dream.'

'You sure?'

'Son you sassing me?' 'No Ma'am not at all,' Dean held his hands up in mock surrender, 'need help with the dishes?'

--------------------------------------------------------------

'_Come to me Samuel, come to me my son, it is time for you to take your rightful place and start your training. Your _

_destiny must be fulfilled.'  
_

_'Who are you?'  
_

_'I am your father, I am your Master, I am your life, and I am the one who can restore that which you have lost.'  
_

_'Stop it, you're confusing me,' Sam shook his head trying to clear the fogginess. 'what have you done to me?'  
_

_'I have done nothing to you that is not preordained in your destiny.'  
_

_'Stop saying that, you have no idea where my destiny lies, hell I don't even know!'  
_

_'I have watched you Samuel, I have nurtured you, and I have allowed you to see a glimpse of what you can be.'  
_

_'Look whatever you're selling I'm not buying.'  
_

_'Do not cross me boy, I can crush you as quick as look at you.'  
_

_'Plenty have tried before you, what makes you any different?'  
_

_'Perhaps if I crush your brother instead then you will obey me.'  
_

_'I have no idea who you are ... hell I don't even know who I am so how can you threaten me like that!'  
_

_'Perhaps it is time then for you to remember some things, not all at once though I am going to have fun with you first.'  
_

_'Do what you want, I really don't care anymore.'  
_

_'Ah you are being deliberately obtuse now, to try and get me off track ... not going to work Samuel, I know everything _

_about you and everything about what makes you ... you!'  
_

_'Well if you know everything, then get the fuck out of my head coz there's nothing more for you to learn!'  
_  
Sam gasped for breath and moaned trying to claw his way back from the black depths of a drugged sleep. He could hear

his heart racing, thudding against his chest; his pulse throbbed feeding the speed of his heart even more. He was going to

explode soon; the pressure was too much for him to bear.

The convulsions came without warning, his pitifully thin frame gave little resistance as they assaulted him, his back arched

and his body twisted painfully as each spasm intensified in strength and frequency.

'Sammy?' Dean cried out when he saw his brother fitting, specks of foam and blood covered Sam's mouth and his eyes

now open, unseeing rolled backwards showing only the whites. Panic surged through Dean as he reached his brother,

grabbing the bedding and pillows he threw them off the bed and onto the floor, leaving only Sam and the under-sheet

twisted up beneath him. As carefully as he could he gripped Sam's shoulder and rolled his brother on to his side, took a

position next to him and waited for the fits to subside.

'Dean?' Sam whispered hoarsely reaching for Dean's hand as he closed his eyes exhaustion claiming him.

'I am so sorry Sammy,' Dean whispered as he gathered the pillows from the floor and used them to prop Sam up on his

side, packing them against his back as tightly as he could, then he took the top sheet and draped it over Sam, not wanting

to overheat him any further.

Wearily Dean sat on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands, hunching his shoulders. He felt so helpless and

that alone devastated him, he had never felt like this before. How can he protect Sam from nightmares? And from his own

thoughts in that freaky mind of his?

'Dean?' Sam whispered his voice barely audible, 'Dean you there?'

'Yeah I'm here Dude you're not getting rid of me that easily.' Dean tried to sound cheerful but even to his own ears he

sounded anything but.

'So tired Dean, and so cold.' Sam whispered clutching the sheet in his fingers he turned his face to look at Dean clearly.

Dean pulled a blanket over Sam and moved a little closer so his brother didn't have to strain anymore. 'What happened Sam?'

'I ah, there was a big ... man Dean he was a fugly dude, huge with red skin and black eyes he looked like he just stepped

out of a Grimm's fairy tale or something. Totally gruesome. He claimed to be the one who made me who I am ... he was the

one who took me and took my memories.'

'Do you ... umm do you remember anything else? Where were you talking to him?'

'It was dark but it looked like umm like an old theatre, you know the really old ones with the ornate stages and old red velvet curtains.'

Dean nodded and thought for a moment, 'yeah there's one here in town, the Riverleigh I think it's called, been closed for years, I'll have to look it up but I'm sure that.'

'It's downtown on High street,' Missouri finished for Dean as she walked into the room carrying a cup of thick chicken soup

for Sam, 'beautiful old theatre but people say that it's haunted.'

'Thanks Missouri.' Sam said ignoring the soup she placed on the bedside table.

'What happened in here? Did you two get into it again? I swear Dean your brother is not well enough or strong enough for stuff like that.'

'Relax Missouri, I – I had another fit.' Sam explained leaning back against the headboard, an overwhelming need to sleep

filled him, his head ached, come to think about it, his entire body ached down to his little toe.

A small ghost of a smile played on his lips as he drifted off listening to Missouri and Dean talk about the theatre, the need

for sleep over-rode everything else, he knew that once he fell asleep that the demon would return but he couldn't stop it. He

just wanted to fall asleep and not wake up again.

_'That can be arranged Samuel.'  
_

_'What?'  
_

_'For you to sleep and never wake up again.'  
_

_'Get out of my thoughts.'  
_

_'Did you enjoy the little sample of what I can do to you?'  
_

_'Get the fuck out of my head!'  
_

_'Now, now Samuel that's not nice!'  
_

_'I don't feel like being nice.'  
_

_'Now you're being petulant, really this behaviour does not become you.'  
_

_'Well if you don't like it then leave, I'm not going to keep you hanging around if you don't want.'  
_

_'Fighter till the end aren't you Samuel and some said that you were too weak, that it is Dean who would be the better _

_convert.'  
_

_'Leave my brother out of this.'  
_

_'What's wrong Samuel did I hit a nerve?'  
_

_'Nope just stating a fact, now get this thing off my arm.'  
_

_'I am sorry Samuel but while you bear my mark you are mine and no one else will touch you.'  
_

_'Who else?'  
_

_'Nothing for you to worry your pretty head about.'  
_

_'I want my memories back.'  
_

_'My, my where did that come from?'  
_

_'I need to know who I am and where I come from, you want me to be yours but how can I be if I don't know who I am.'  
_

_'Interesting point Samuel I will take it under consideration.'  
_

_'Yeah right, why lie it takes so little to tell the truth.'  
_

_'And you are so good at that.'  
_

_'At what?'  
_

_'Telling the truth.'  
_

_'I wouldn't know about that coz I can't remember.'  
_

_'Hmm bit of a quandary isn't it.'  
_

_'Yuck it up coz until I get my memory we're gonna have a stalemate.'  
_

_'Ah chess, quite a game can you play.'  
_

_'Yeah, I can hold my own.'  
_

_'Care to wager on it?'  
_

_'On what?'  
_

_'If you win I will give you back your memory and will leave you alone, however, if I win then I get you lock, stock and barrel. No_

_ more arguments, no more stalling, I get you, your mind, and your memory and ... I get your soul'  
_

_'Cocky aren't you.'  
_

_'I don't need to be cocky I know how good I am at chess.'  
_

_'Yeah right, you do know that chess is more of the mind not the brawn?'  
_

_'So Samuel are you game? Do you want to gamble with everything at stake.'  
_

_'One other condition.'  
_

_'Which is?'  
_

_'If I agree to this, and when I win then you cannot come after my family and friends, Dean and Missouri especially.'_

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

CHAPTER 5

Dean sat watching Sam sleep; his younger brother seemed to be in a deep dreamless sleep except for the occasional twitch of his fingers and the grimaces that played across his face. Dean could have sworn that Sam was doing more than sleeping but he didn't know what. 'Don't you fucking dare take on that demon in your dreams Sam!' Dean yelled suddenly, jumping up he took Sam by the shoulders and shook him gently, 'come on Sammy time to wake up.'

'Dean what are you doing boy?' Missouri demanded as she ran into the room, a look of panic on her time weary face.

'Something's wrong Missouri, he's not waking up,' Dean said without taking his attention away from Sam, 'he's doing oh I dunno I'm not sure exactly what it is but I just now.'

'I don't know ... alright I trust your judgement,' Missouri frowned and then went to Sam's side gently shoving Dean aside. 'Sam boy it's time to open those pretty eyes of yours.' Missouri said tapping Sam's cheeks.

'Missouri what? What is it?' Dean asked his worry building, 'you have that look on your face.'

'I can feel something bad Dean, very bad and it surrounds Sam himself.' Missouri said pushing herself up from the bed, 'I ... look after him Dean, whatever he says or does don't listen to him, and don't let him leave.'

'Where are you going Lady?'

'I have to prepare a few things, that thing that did this to him, Dean boy it's invading his mind.'

'Sam?' Dean breathed out paling as he watched Sam's fingers start to twist in the sheeting, a sheen of sweat on his brow, 'hurry with it Missouri.'

'Don't you sass me and don't you order me boy I'll be done when I am.' Missouri snapped as she left the room, Dean could hear her voice droning on as she made her way downstairs; shaking his head, he took his position up next to Sam again and watched his baby brother intently.

_Sam watched the demon curiously, his hand hovering over the chess piece 'why haven't you made your move yet?'_

_'I have been considering all possible moves.'_

_'face it I have you beaten.' Sam smirked, 'at least I can remember how to play chess.'_

_'Yes it seems as though you do, tell me what else do you remember?'_

_Sam stared at the demon for a moment, 'pieces of my childhood with Dean, my Dad's face, the impala, I remember...' Sam lifted his head and gave the creature a cold smile, 'I am remembering a lot of things about my life with Dean but nothing, nothing at all about you.'_

_'Ah but have you ever thought that those memories you have of your life are really your life with me, you are only substituting those fools for me as you are still like a newborn babe, very impressionable.'_

_'Did anyone tell you that you talk too much?'_

_'You are determined aren't you Samuel.' The demon smiled finally making his move, 'I do believe that this is check.' _

_'And this,' Sam said confidently moving his rook, 'is checkmate.'_

_'What?' the demon hissed staring disbelievingly down at the chess pieces, 'you have not won yet Samuel, I may concede and allow you to remember, but I will not allow you, your freedom, not yet.'_

_'Now how did I guess that you would double cross me?' Sam smirked sitting back and gazing lazily at the demon who furiously tried to work out Sam's last gambit._

_'Samuel why do you constantly bait me?'_

_'Oh I don't know, it's fun, really you should do something about your indisposition you could lighten up a bit.'_

_'Oh funny, you know if I wanted witty sarcastic banter I would have invaded your brother not you.'_

_'Guess it's just my luck ... so why did you take my memory then? If you don't want me to be like my brother and be myself and yet you take my memory from me and leave me with fragments.'_

_'What Samuel are you feeling sorry for yourself?' the demon grinned, 'would you like to remember the bad stuff?'_

_'What are you talking about?' Sam felt his constant companion panic rise in him again, 'I don't understand.' Suddenly he felt hot, sweat dripped down his face and soaked his clothes, his hands shook, 'what are you doing to me?'_

_'Nothing really Samuel just giving you something back that you want so badly,' the demon grinned evilly, 'let me put it this way it is your winnings for the game.'_

_'I didn't ask for any of this.' Sam panted, his breathes came in short sharp gasps, 'you're cheating again.'_

_'Really Samuel you must curb your suspicious nature it really doesn't suit you.'_

_'Stop calling me Samuel my name is Sam.'_

_'Whatever you say Samuel,' the demon smiled patronisingly, 'I am here but to serve you.'_

_'Fuck you!' Sam gasped, he pushed away from the table and staggered away from his tormentor, 'what are you doing to me?'_

_'Giving you your memory back, well not all of it but most of it ... the bad parts anyway.'_

_The demon disappeared leaving Sam lying on the floor, shivering and curled into a tight ball, the painful memories forced back into his mind, he truly thought he was going insane._

_He saw an angry nineteen year old Sam arguing with his father, the words thrown about tore each other to pieces and devastated the third and forgotten member of the family._

_The nightmares that filled his sleeping time now filled his mind with ugly images of a young woman pinned to the ceiling and her blood dripping down on his face before she burst into flames._

_'Jess.' Her name ripped from his lips as the images changed again and he saw a dying Dean lying in a hospital bed with a terminal heart condition after being electrocuted. A desperate phone call to his father went unheeded. The images morphed into another burst of pain and confusion, he could hear himself arguing with his father just after they had reunited. Again, they ignored the hurt they inflicted on Dean while they ripped each other apart._

_'Dad.' He screamed in his mind, as he writhed in agony, all of the pain felt by the three Winchesters coursed through his body as one image merged into another with a blinding speed, intensity and an unforgiving fierceness._

_'No Dean!' Sam cried out as he watched helplessly as the yellow-eyed demon ripped his chest to shreds using their father's body to torment and torture them. His father begging Sam to shoot him, taking aim to fire a fatal bullet into his father, his refusal cost them. It was his fault once again. _

_The semi smashing into the car, made Sam's body jerk like a broken puppet, his brother lying in a coma, his father seemingly uncaring. Yet another argument this time Dean was the subject not the victim. _

_His last words to his father said in anger, long harsh sobs pulled from Sam's chest as he relived his father's death and funeral pyre. Then Dean's change in personality after the death of their father, his shutdown, and Sam's breakdown_. It was too much and Sam screamed soundlessly, clutching his head and squeezing his eyes shut to keep the images away. He couldn't take it anymore.

'Missouri!' Dean screamed as he scrambled to hold his brother's shaking body, Sam had started to thrash about in his sleep, and hoarse incoherent cries filled the silence and terrified Dean even further. Sam was fast losing a battle only he could see and fight, Dean had never felt so helpless.

The heat radiating from Sam intensified to a point where Dean thought he would implode himself.

'Dean boy I am coming, it's just ... Sam he's ... I can feel it all someone or something is forcing him to remember the most painful parts of his life.' Missouri panted as she weaved unsteadily into the room, 'oh my I can feel the strain, and his heart is going to give way if we don't act fast.'

'What? What do we do to help him?' Dean cried out as Sam started sobbing inconsolably reaching out for an unseen presence.

'Call him Dean, talk to him ... keep your voice calm, and nothing to do with pain, just keep it light. Childhood talk to him about your childhood.' Missouri managed to get out as she felt blood dripping from her nose, 'oh my,' she gasped patting her tissue at the nose bleed.

'Hey Sammy, come on dude you have to wake up now. Just open those puppy dog eyes and look at me that's all I ask.' Dean's voice broke as he spoke, clearing his throat and coughing slightly he moved his position, sliding behind Sam so he could cradle his brother's head on his chest, absently rubbing Sam's shoulders, 'remember when we were kids Sam, I guess I would have been oh around thirteen and you, you little squirt you woulda been nine. We were alone for the night and you got me to let you sit up and watch Psycho with me. You were so scared to have a shower for two years after that.' Dean chuckled softly at the memory, 'Dad kept asking you about why you insisted on all shower screens being removed or folded away for you no matter where we were and you said it was coz you couldn't see yourself properly with them hanging so close.'

Sam twisted in Dean's grip and started to sob silently again, sweat mingled with his tears as his fever rose, Dean could even feel each beat of Sam's heart as the thudding grew in intensity.

Dean glanced over at Missouri, not sure on what to do but she gave him a wan smile and nodded for him to continue. 'so Sammy, I remember you as a chubby twelve year old starting your new school, man you were already freakishly tall, you towered over the other kids, but they still tried to bully you. That day you came home with your nose bloodied, a black eye and the goofiest grin I had ever seen, Dad went ballistic but then you showed him your test score, man you got 100 on your math paper and he went from ranting to prancing.' Dean rested his cheek on Sam's head as he cradled his brother closely, he felt a slight change in Sam's condition, and the kid seemed to be improving. 'Oh and I will never forget the day, Maureen Gibbons kissed you, I think you were thirteen and she just bailed you up on the school bus and planted one on ya, man you were red for a week.' Sam's breathing slowly evened out, but he still didn't wake, prompting Dean to keep regaling their childhood exploits, 'and when you went on your first hunt, man Sammy I was so proud of you even if you didn't manage to kill the beastie and almost got yourself sliced up and served as dinner, but you held your ground. Oh and when you did make your first kill, wow man I thought Dad was gonna have a fit he was so happy.'

'Dad?' Sam cried out, 'no please Dean where's Dad?'

'Sammy?' Dean whispered not sure, whether he should answer him, 'come on Sammy time to wake up now.'

'Dad, he hated me.' Sam wept, 'he blamed me didn't he Dean, he blamed me for everything.' Turning on his side Sam clutched at Dean's arms and broke down completely, 'he died hating me, those things I said to him...'

'Dude listen to me it's not your fault,' Dean floundered unsure of how he should handle Sam's unexpected outburst. 'Dad never hated you.'

'I was never good enough, I tried so hard Dean I tried to do what he wanted but I couldn't, I didn't want to be the good soldier.' Sam wept brokenly, 'all I wanted was for him to notice me.'

'Sammy listen to me you did nothing to make Dad hate you and he loved you, he just had a hard time with chick flick stuff.' Sam let out a heaving sigh and pulled away from Dean, he gazed up at his brother confused and disorientated, then he turned to look at Missouri his eyes widening when he saw the bloodied tissue in her hand. 'Missouri?'

'I'm fine Sam, honestly I'm fine.' Missouri said patting his leg, 'now how about I make you some nice soup for lunch.'

'No, no thanks I ah don't feel so good.' Sam grimaced, 'hurts so much.'

'Dude what happened?'

'Who am I Dean? What am I?' Sam cried looking beseechingly at his older brother.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

CHAPTER 6

Dean sat back and stared at his brother, unsure of what to say or how to say it, Missouri slipped out of the room allowing the boys some privacy, the doctors wanted Sam to remember on his own but she was sure that it was time for Dean to fill in the missing pieces.

The demon destroyed any chance same had of recovering his memory naturally, Dean looked down at his hands, and then back up at Sam heaving a big sigh he started talking, watching Sam continuously to gauge his reactions.

'Okay we were born in Lawrence Kansas, Dad's name was John and Mary was our mother, when I was about four and half and you were exactly six months old, there was a fire in your nursery. Dad found mum pinned to the ceiling, she had a large cut across her stomach, and she was bleeding on you. Then a fire filled the room and Dad grabbed you and pushed you into my arms ordering me to get you out, he tried to reach mum but it was too late.' Dean paused and watched Sam's face, but his younger brother sat there with a sad look that broke his older brother's heart. 'After that, well Dad did his best to look after us and taught himself to hunt supernatural nasties while searching for the demon that killed mum. When we were old enough he trained us to be hunters too, you didn't really take to the lifestyle that much.'

'I wanted a normal life?' Sam whispered hoarsely he lifted his gaze to meet Dean's tears shining unshed, 'Dad was disappointed with me wasn't he.'

'No Sam he didn't, sometimes I think you intimidated him, you are so smart and a straight A student at school, but you were such a serious kid Sammy. You thought about everything and everyone before you did a thing. And yeah you were a moody and stubborn little bitch but that is what made you, Dad always said that you were more like mum, sensitive and caring; he couldn't do that caring sharing stuff. But he did go ballistic when you told him that you had applied to college and got into Stanford. Fuck Sammy you got accepted into Stanford but you couldn't even tell him you had applied.'

'Then we had a huge argument and he told me if I walked out the door that I was never to come back.' Sam finished for Dean, 'I can see him Dean, I can remember how angry he was, I thought that he was going to kill me, but you were there between us, you were always there for me weren't you Dean?'

'Ah yeah, but that's my job, I'm the big brother and it's my job to look after you.'

'Did you...did you and Dad come and visit me at college?'

'No dude, you stayed silent, I mean Dad and I often dropped passed the place and checked up on you but he wouldn't go in and wouldn't let me.'

'Did you meet Jess?'

'Yeah but not until I came to get you when Dad disappeared.'

'Do you know much about her?' Sam asked earnestly.

'No dude, I ah only met her for a few minutes but Sam she was gorgeous and obviously loved you, just had to see the way she looked at ya.'

'And I ...'

'Apparently you were shopping for a ring.'

'So what happened Dean? I left with you? Left Jess alone?'

'We went to search for Dad and ended up on a hunt, the woman in white.'

'And?'

'When we finished I took you back to school coz you had a big interview for law school.'

'I wanted to go to law school?'

'Yep, dunno what made you decide on that but anyway when we got back that's when...'

'A fire again.'

'Yeah dude Jess died the same way mum did I came back to talk to the two of you again and found you...I just got you out in time.'

'But Jess died?'

'Yep and we've been together ever since doing hunts and looking for Dad.'

'We did catch up with him didn't we? I mean I can remember the cabin, you getting ripped up and the demon possessing Dad. I couldn't shoot Dad and he got so mad about it.'

'You remember that?'

'Yeah, and the accident and Dad dying.' Sam finished softly, he played with the sleeve of his shirt plucking at a stray thread, 'just then I dunno how or why but I could see the demon, I was talking to him and then he forced all of the bad memories back. He said that he took my memory and he could give it back to me in pieces. I thought that he was bluffing.'

'No dude, it's all true.' Dean said not wanting to elaborate on any of their more gruesome and or dangerous hunts just yet. 'Look Sam you're exhausted and I'm parched how about we finish this tomorrow.'

'Sure Dean, just one thing...'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'What about you? I mean did you meet anyone? Girlfriend did you have a girlfriend? Hell are you married? Kids?'

'Nope, no, Sammy come on you're talking to the king of the ladies, I did see one girl for a while but that was over before it really began.'

'Cassie?' Sam asked looking up at Dean.

'Yeah, typical you remember her name and you don't remember your own.' Dean gave a slight chuckle and held his hand out to Sam, 'come on dude let's get you cleaned up and fed. Dunno about you but bringing memories up always makes me hungry.'

'Anything makes you hungry Dean!' Sam quipped surprising himself just as much as he surprised Dean.

------------------------------------

'So Sam and Dean are putting the pieces of his memory back together.' A sibilant hiss came from the demon as he watched and listened to the brother's conversation, 'interesting and ever so disturbing.'

'Master you summoned me?' the dream sprite cowered in front of the Master Demon.

'I am willing to give you a second chance.'

'Master?'

'I want you to visit Dean's dreams this time, not Sam's. Sam will be fine for now, I want Dean to be inundated with doubts about Sam, about his abilities and focus. Make him doubt his brother now that Sam has amnesia, to second guess the real reasons why he is looking after him.'

'Ooohhh that sounds like fun Master,' the demon clapped her hands together, 'can I inflict pain?'

'No, not to begin with I want him to doubt his brother, and to doubt himself. This happened when he promised his father to look after Sam and to protect him no matter what.'

'Yes Master, I can do that.' The demon cowered in front of the demon, 'I will not let you down this time.'

'Do and you will never know anything but pain forever.'

-------------------------------

Dean tossed restlessly in his sleep, his head hurt with a sudden headache after dinner, so he excused himself early and went to bed, just needing sleep.

_'It's your fault Dean, I trusted you and you let me down,' John screamed at the younger man, lifting his fists threateningly at him, 'Sam is lost and it is all your fault.'_

_'Dad it's not...he was kidnapped I tried to find him, I searched everywhere...'_

_'I trained you better than that Dean, I trained you to track and to succeed no matter what. You are nothing but a disappointment to me.'_

_'Dad please, I'm going to help Sammy, I can help him get his memory back.'_

_'Your brother is lost forever Dean, it's too late you failed. You failed me and you failed your brother.'_

_'NO Dad please, I didn't fail you.' Dean cried out but the only answer he received was his father's fist crashing into his face. Stunned Dean fell backwards unable to break his fall, he landed on the floor and stared up at his father. 'Dad?'_

_'You are a failure Dean, your whole life, hell you couldn't even keep up with Sam at school.'_

_'I passed, Sam was special Dad, he has a gift.'_

_'He is a vegetable now, no good for anyone or anything; he can't remember how to hunt. He's a liability and it is all your fault.' John punctuated each word with a well aimed punch, and or kick. Dean laid there taking the punishment, he knew he deserved it, he failed to protect Sam._

_The images shimmered and Dean stared down at Sam sitting in the wheelchair and staring out the window. After searching for months he finally finds Sam but now he is just a shell of his former self, no longer able to remember his life, family and job. Nothing now he was dependent on everyone around him to help him. Dependent on Dean._

_'What are you doing to me Sam? I can't move from you now, just in case you get hurt again. You always get hurt Sam why? Why do you have to attract trouble wherever you go?'_

_'I'm sorry Dean.' Sam mumbled looking up at his brother with those puppy dog expressive eyes. 'I didn't mean it.'_

_'You never mean it Sam that's the problem you never mean anything you do. You're a deadweight Sam what am I going to do with you now? I can't hunt and save your sorry skinny ass all of the time too.'_

_'I promise I'll try to do better Dean.'_

_'No, it's too late Sam, you are a liability I would have been better off dumping you in an institute and forgetting you.' Dean snarled attacking Sam in a frenzy of punches, sending him sprawling on the floor from his wheelchair Dean replaced the punches with kicks._

'Dean, Dean wake up dude.' Sam cried out again trying to grip Dean's flailing hands as he tried to wake his brother, 'wake up Dean, you're having a nightmare.'

Dean hissed and drew his hand back, 'nothing but a liability Sam.' He screamed as he landed a punch to the side of Sam's head sending him falling backwards to land on the floor between the two beds.

'Dean?' Sam whispered holding his stinging cheek, his eyes wide with shock and fear.

Dean growled and moved to drop on top of Sam, continuing to rain blows down on his younger brother.

'Dean?' Sam whispered again as he tried to fend his brother's attack off.

'Sammy?' Dean whispered as he slumped forward just as sudden as his attack on Sam was his collapse.

'Dean? Dude come on you're scaring me.' Sam cried out, 'wake up please.'

Dean lifted his head and blinked furiously trying to clear his blurred vision, finally he managed to focus, a look of horror formed on his face as he stared down at Sam's bloodied and bruised face and then at his own split knuckles, 'Sam?'

'What the fuck happened Dean?' Sam huffed pushing his brother away wincing with the shooting pain in his left wrist.

'Sam I – I don't understand.'

'What the hell is going on in here? If you two boys are fighting you can just quit it.' Missouri's high pitched southern accent broke the silence that started to descend on the room, hurrying in she skidded to a stop when she took in Sam's battered face and Dean's wide glassy eyes. 'What happened?'

'Dean had a nightmare.' Sam grunted as he managed to lift himself back on his bed.

'Dean?' Missouri turned to stare at him, he still knelt in the same position between the beds, his head hanging low. 'Dean baby are you alright?'

'I ah, don't know.' Dean mumbled he sounded like he had a bad head cold, looking up he avoided Sam's face and glanced up at Missouri, blood poured from his nose unheeded. 'What's wrong with me Missouri? What did I just do?'

'Dean?' Sam tried to reach out to his brother, but Dean jerked away violently a shroud of guilt and confusion covered Dean, shaking he lifted a finger to his bleeding nose and then everything blurred together and he slumped forward unconscious.

'Missouri what just happened?' Sam asked looking up at the woman, 'what just happened?'

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

Author's note: Hi all, hope you enjoy this chapter, I am going on holidays from Boxing Day, (26th Dec) to Jan 18th so I am not sure how many updates I will be able to do while I am away. I will have access to a computer but not a lot, I will try to do as many as I can.

So please have a safe and happy Christmas and New Year and thank you so much for all of your support and reviews this year and will cya all in the new year.

((((((((((((((((group hugs)))))))))))))))))))

* * *

CHAPTER 7

Dean woke but kept his eyes closed, everything hurt in his head, and it even hurt to try to think. He could hear muffled voices on the edge of his awareness. Sam and Missouri are there with him.

He tried to lie as still as possible but it was too much and he groaned, everything ached, he had never felt so achy, sore, and so old before.

'Dean?' Sam's voice tried to penetrate through the fog but something pushed it back out of Dean's perception, Dean groaned again and tried to lift his hand, he had to push the smothering blanket away.

'Dean? Come on dude look at me...open your eyes and look at me.' Sam's voice held a hint of fear and desperation in it. 'What's wrong Missouri why isn't he waking up?'

'Good question Sweety, something feels so wrong in this room,' Missouri mused standing up suddenly she hurried out of the room; 'I'll be right back Sam ya'll keep an eye on your brother.'

'Not going anywhere Missouri.' Sam whispered, turning his attention back to his brother's face, 'I may not remember everything but I know we need each other.'

'Ya don't know the half of it Sweety,' Missouri mumbled as she lumbered down the hallway to her bedroom she needed something special. The boys bedroom had been infiltrated by a sprite or spirit that preyed on those boys during their dreams.

'Ah there it is,' she sighed happily gathering her small supply up she hurried back to the other bedroom.

-------------------------

_Dean watched the shadows move in the fog, they seem to be darting at him trying to attack and take pieces of him, this was not happening, not on his watch. He snarled and tried to hunt them but he was stuck in a patch of something that resembled glue, he had to stand there and take their attacks._

_Then he remembered his father's voice from before, his father blamed him for Sam's amnesia and for the fact that Sam was useless as a hunter now. A liability and it was all Dean's fault. He dropped his head and stopped fighting, suddenly so tired and sore again. Let them come and feed off his corpse, he wasn't supposed to be alive anyway. _

'Dean come on Dude wake up please, you're scaring me.' He heard Sam's voice again, this time it found a crack and made its way through the fog, 'I can't do this without you Dean.'

_Dean frowned there was that whining again, 'I can't do it without you Dean,' 'yeah well if you didn't go and lose your memory maybe you could stand on your own two feet for a change Sammy.' But then he pushed that out of his mind, he had to get free of the fog it was literally clouding his mind. He had to think, he had to fight that was all he knew how to do. 'Yes daddy you raised a very good little soldier just a shame that you were too good with it.' _

_Grunting he pushed his way through the murky mire towards the sliver of light where Sam's voice broke through. His chest hurt like hell, each breath felt like it was laced with razors, and his body ached interminably, each joint screamed silently at him. He had to get to the light, the sliver of sanity in the fast disintegrating state of his mind._

_'Quitter, you are always were and you always will be!' his father's voice made him stumble._

_'I'm not listening to you Dad, you're not real.' Dean yelled back as he picked himself up and kept moving slowly but surely towards that crack, it was still there but he couldn't hear Sam anymore. His heart clenched and tightened his chest, tears prickled his eyes as he forced himself to continue but his strength waned, all he wanted to do was sleep._

_'Get up soldier, you are not going to slacken off now, get up and fight or are you the coward I had you pegged as. Both my sons are one big disappointment, sensitive Sam always ready with an argument but not willing to learn to stand up and fight. And you, the good little soldier, the quitter...the little quitter and coward, hiding behind Sam and his neediness.'_

_'Fuck off old man, I don't need you, I don't want you, and I certainly won't listen to you now.' Dean growled reaching out he touched the crack and felt the warmth coming from it._

'Dean, please you can't leave me like this...please I need ... no I want you to come back.' Sam's voice broke through his frantic thoughts, instantly calming him.

'Dean boy ya hear me ... we're getting ya back,' a strange voice made him stop and listen intently, who the? Then he realised who it was, Sam and Missouri are working together, they want him back.

_He put his hand into the crack and felt two hands grab him and pull him free ..._ Panting heavily Dean's body started to convulse, his fingers clutching spasmodically in the air and he gasped chokingly for each hurtful breath. Forcing into his fast paralysing lungs.

'Sam!' he roared his back arched and his eyes snapped open simultaneously as the convulsion came to a violent end. He lay quietly with his eyes open but unfocused and glazed over, tiny shivers washed through him causing his limbs to tremble uncontrollably.

Missouri grabbed two thick woollen blankets and tucked them around Dean warming him 'Sam honey, rub his arms we have to get him warm before he goes into shock,' she said gently touching Sam's arm.

Dean watched them silently, the blurriness eased enough for him to make out their faces, and he felt safe again, although all he could hear in his mind is his father's cruel laughter and constant barbs, the self-doubting and mistrust of Sam's abilities well and truly fixed in his mind.

'Th-th-thanks,' Dean shivered his voice almost non-existent.

'Dean you okay man?' Sam asked his brow scrunched up with worry for his older brother.

'Yeah Sammy I'm fine,' Dean whispered, 'throat feels like ... been cut ... razors.'

'Just rest Dean you were attacked by a dream sprite.' Missouri said as she poured a thick tincture into a glass and held it to his lips, 'here drink this, and don't ya go and spit it back out boy.'

Dean glared up at the woman as he reluctantly drank the foul tasting liquid, gagging slightly on the last mouthful. 'What the hell was that?'

'Don't you go cussing at me boy, you just rest that's something that will kick that little sprite from here to kingdom come and back again,' Missouri announced sitting back she stared down at Dean with a look of satisfaction on her face.

'Why didn't you poison Sammy with that as well?' Dean asked petulantly.

'Coz we don't want to go and ruin all the good work you did helping him remember everything do we.' Missouri said mysteriously as she left the two boys alone, 'these boys are gonna be the death o' me I knows it.' They could hear her mumbling all the way downstairs.

'You sure that you're okay Dean?' Sam asked still watching Dean intently.

'Sammy stop frowning, if the wind changes your face will stay like that,' Dean said his voice still hoarse.

'What happened Dean?'

'Nightmare I couldn't get out of,' Dean yawned and snuggled further down into the blankets, 'what the fuck did that witch give me?'

'I heard that Dean Winchester!' Missouri's voice came from nowhere, 'ya'll cuss once more, and I am warning ya.'

Dean grinned sheepishly as he started to drift off again he snapped his eyes open a frantic look on his face, 'don't let me go back to sleep Sam, please don't let me,' he cringed visibly when he heard the neediness in his own voice. Dad's voice was right, he was needy and a coward, hiding behind his brother and Missouri.

'I'm not going anywhere Dean,' Sam frowned as he watched the way Dean's eyes darted around staring at non-existent shadows, 'I wish I could remember everything Dean.'

'And what good would you be?' A deep gruff voice came out of Dean's mouth, 'you were always a disappointment as a child and you are an even bigger one now, no son of mine is as weak as you.'

'Dean what's going on?' Sam asked backing away slightly from his brother he didn't know the voice but felt the familiarity of it.

'Dean is here cowering like the quitter he is,' the voice kept going, 'pathetic little soldier who can't function without me to give him orders. And you, you pathetic excuse for a Winchester, you can't even stop them from taking your memory, useless, pathetic little whiner.'

'Who are you?' Sam cried out, 'Dean, Dean please wake up.'

'Told you that Deanie boy has given up, surrendered to me once again, he can only function when I give him orders, and he does as he's told. Not like you ... you're nothing but a selfish little shit who pulls your brother back from his full potential as a hunter.'

'Missouri!' Sam cried out pushing himself away from his brother, 'Missouri we need you.'

'That's it Sam call for help, you really are a wimp aren't you, fight for yourself boy, stand up and get some backbone.'

'Sam? What is it?' Missouri called on her way up, 'oh my Sam hang on chil' I'm coming,' she finished when the realisation hit her.

The door slammed shut in front of her locking her out of the bedroom; she could hear the voice taunting Sam, using the one voice that could completely break the boy. And using his beloved brother to do it, 'hang on Sam I'm gonna find a way in, ya'll just hang on in there.'

'Missouri!' came Sam's pain-filled voice from the other side of the door, 'No!'

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

CHAPTER 8

Missouri's hand shook as she tried desperately to unlock the bedroom door when suddenly it flew open. Hurrying inside she skidded to a stop, her fingers fluttering over her mouth as she took in the scene before her.

Dean curled into a foetal position on the floor between his bed and the wall, tears rolled down his face and a look of sheer horror in his eyes. The room was in complete disarray, including a large crack down the bedroom window. 'Sammy?' She called terrified when she couldn't see the younger Winchester brother. A soft groan made her turn and hurry to where the other bed was overturned. Lying trapped beneath it was Sam. 'Oh my Sam what happened?'

'Help Dean, please Missouri help Dean.' Sam begged her as she crouched down beside him, 'please there's something wrong with him.'

'Sam honey you're pinned under the bed.' Missouri said ringing her hands; she had never felt so out of her depth before.

'I'm, I'm okay but please…'

'Okay, okay don't get yourself all worked up I'll be right back.' Missouri patted Sam's arm and then hurried over to where Dean still lay curled on his side.

'Oh Dean Boy what have they done to you now?' Missouri cried out.

'I tried to kill him, I tried to kill Sam.' Dean replied brokenly, 'they tried to make me kill him.'

'Hush now boy, you were stronger than them, you didn't do what they wanted.'

'I hurt him Missouri, I swore to always protect Sam and I am the one who almost kills him.'

'Baby, now I want you to listen to me…You did not try to kill Sam, it was that demon and the dream sprite they played with your mind and tried to force you into doing something out of character for their own amusement.'

'No, no I tried to kill my brother, how can he stand to look at me?'

'Dean - listen please, Sam is worried about you, he made me come and check on you first he knows it wasn't you.'

'Where is Sam?' Dean asked slowly uncurling himself; he scrubbed at his face with both hands trying to wipe away the cobwebs sticking to his skin.

'Can you stand up boy? Coz I am gonna need your help.' Missouri panted as she helped him stand up.

'Where is he?' Dean asked peering around the room.

'Ah under the bed,' Missouri said gently, 'over there.'

Dean dropped to his knees next to his fallen brother a look of sheer dismay on his face, 'oh God Sammy what did I do?'

'Dean? Ah a little help please.' Sam asked with a tremulous smile. As dean lifted the bed frame Missouri helped Sam wriggle free, his knee already swelling seemed to be the only visible injury though.

'Sam are you okay?' Dean asked thickly and unable to look at his brother.

'Yeah a little sore but I'm okay,' Sam grimaced slightly as he moved his leg and aggravated his swollen knee.

'Yeah right Sam look at you.' Dean snapped his voice heavy with guilt. 'I did that to you didn't I?'

'Ah no, it wasn't you, they may have been using your body but it wasn't you Dean.' Sam said hurriedly as he watched Dean's face closely. 'It's not your fault.'

'Ya know Sammy I'm usually the one telling you that.' Dean said with a grimaced smile, 'can you get up?'

Sam took Dean's offered hand and slowly managed to stand and then he balanced on his good leg and leaning heavily on Dean they made their way to the living room.

Missouri followed them closely, muttering unintelligibly under her breath, trying to work out how to break the next piece of news to the brothers since they have suffered so much but time was running out.

'Thanks,' Sam said with a tremulous smile, 'I ah … thanks.'

'Dammit Sam get angry, yell at me do something … I just tried to kill you.' Dean cried out his voice filled with guilt and self-recrimination.

'No Dean, for one you didn't do it, after they put you through everything they could think of you still didn't kill me,' Sam sighed his face paling as he finally started to acknowledge the pain from his knee, 'and for another I ah … well I don't really remember everything yet so to me you were my protector and nothing else.'

'Ah fuck Sam, I didn't … do you remember anything?'

'Not much it all gets a little blurry so quickly, almost as if…' Sam's voice trailed off.

'Almost as if what Sammy?' Dean prompted him.

'Almost as if someone was hitting a delete button in my head; every time I have a memory flash or a feeling it is there then suddenly gone, erased and it is just a blank one big freaking blank.'

'Sammy, calm down you're starting to hyperventilate, we have to concentrate on working on the memories you do have.'

'I – I remember when we were kids, being alone a lot at night but you were always there telling me stories, making me laugh.'

'Yeah that happened a lot when Dad used to go on hunts and there was no one else to stay with. We ah had some good times back then Sammy.'

'It's always just been us really hasn't it Dean, I mean Dad was there but not…it was always just us.'

'Yeah Dude it was, what's the point?'

'The point Dean, the point is that I know you would never intentionally set out to kill me, bug me yes but not kill me.'

'Sammy I ah … ah hate these chick flick moments you know,' Dean grinned patting sam's arm he stood up and swayed for a second until he regained his equilibrium, 'damn dizziness okay you sit here and I'm gonna get an ice pack…oh thanks Missouri.'

'Hold it tight on your knee there,' Missouri instructed Sam and then she turned her attention to Dean, 'okay boy you drink this.'

'What the freaking hell is it?' Dean asked sniffing at the drink suspiciously.

'Don't ask just drink,' she answered, 'trust me.' She added with a tinkling giggle.

Dean wrinkled his nose and took a sip, then shrugging he downed the rest in two mouthfuls, gagging slightly when he finished. 'That was…gross.'

'It will help when you sleep tonight, just enough to really annoy the dream sprite.' Missouri smiled, 'now seeing that the two of you wrecked your bedroom you'll have to sleep down here, only problem I can see though, is that Sam honey you're too tall for the sofa or for the chairs.'

'See what happens when you get so freaking long,' Dean teased, 'he needs to keep his knee up and straight so what can we do?'

'Hmm oh yeah, Boy you come with me and no sassing, Sam you stay put and rest.' Missouri ordered before hurrying out of the room, expecting Dean to follow she didn't look back. Dean shrugged and hurried after her, using the walls to steady his still weak and heavy legs.

Sam sat back on the couch, suddenly very tired, he shifted his aching leg slightly trying to get more comfortable but nothing helped. He was just too exhausted to bother, closing his eyes he tried to bring back what exactly happened with Dean after he started having the nightmare.

_'Don't you realise Samuel he doesn't want you around anymore.'_

_'No, leave me alone you don't know what is between me and Dean.'_

_'Now that is disturbing.'_

_'Don't make it something it's not, he's my brother and no one can change that.'_

_'Really? Want to make a bet on that?'_

_'Leave us alone, what do you want anyway?'_

_'I want to see just how long you can go without completely breaking down, poor little Sammy, doesn't remember anything not even dear old dad.'_

_'Don't you talk about Dad?'_

_'And then there's Jess, amazing how you can just forget about her like that.'_

_'Yeah well if you didn't take my memories I wouldn't have forgotten her.'_

_'Oh that's right, let's play blame the demon again.'_

_'Why not it's usually your fault anyway.'_

_'My, my Sammy you have gotten sassy since you don't remember just how wimpy you really are.'_

_'Yeah well I have had lots of practice lately, and not remembering well…gee that may just work in my favour then.'_

_'Now that is just plain creepy.'_

_'What is?'_

_'You are turning into a clone of your big brother.'_

'Sam? Sammy come on Dude look at me.' Dean tried once again to wake his little brother, 'time to open those peepers Sam you can't sleep forever.'

_'So what are you doing here anyway?' _

_'Playing with you, what are you doing here?'_

_'Making sure that you leave Dean alone.'_

_'Ah so what are you willing to trade for me to leave Dean alone?'_

_'Not sure that I have anything left; after all you took my memory already.'_

_'Ha, ha now that is funny Samuel.'_

_The demon circled Sam, staring him lasciviously; trailing a hand around Sam's waist he stopped and stared up at his face, 'you are quite delectable Samuel Winchester in more ways than one.'_

_'Thanks I think.'_

_'Not only do you have a beautiful body and face you have a beautiful mind, filled with so many inconsistencies and contradictions, tell me Sam why do you dumb yourself down the way you do?'_

_'I have no idea what you are talking about.' _

_'Hmm, perhaps you don't you are so modest aren't you.' _

_'Get a life.'_

_'I have one, yours!' the demon quipped, reaching up he wrapped his hands around Sam's face holding it hard enough to elicit a whimper from the younger man. 'Pain, Samuel can you feel it, burning through you with flames scorching your mind. Feel them Sam burning into your brain, searing each thought you have. The pain is unbearable isn't it; now, I know how to get rid of it all you have to do is ask…no beg me to extinguish it for you.'_

_'Never… I will never beg.'_

Sam convulsed and gripped Dean's hand tightly, not wanting to break the contact as he fought his invisible fight.

'Fuck Sam you're burning up, I can hardly touch your skin,' Dean frowned and pressed his hand against Sam's forehead, 'but it doesn't feel like a fever.'

'Burning…me…help…me.' Sam gasped squeezing his eyes tightly Sam fought to push the sensations from his mind but the flames flared even hotter. A scream escaped from his throat as the firestorm swept through his body.

'Missouri!' Dean bellowed, 'dammit woman get in here now.'

'Don't you cuss me boy,' Missouri fumed as she lumbered down the stairs, 'I can feel the heat what is going…oh my Sam?'

'He, he won't wake up and now he's burning up from the inside out.' Dean explained as quickly as he could his eyes wide with fear and shock. 'He's dying Missouri.'

'Dean Honey go and get as much ice you can find in the freezer just bring everything you can to me hurry boy.' Missouri shooed Dean out of the room before turning to Sam. The young man writhed on the sofa, an unholy red glow emitted from him, his eyes snapped open and they were filled with flames.

Missouri sat on the edge of the sofa and cupped Sam's burning face in her hands swallowing deeply she closed her eyes and flooded cool and calming thoughts into Sam's mind.

Dean skidded to a stop carrying as much frozen food and ice as he could manage and spread it over Sam's lanky body as he watched Missouri carefully. Then he sat back and watched the woman battle for his brother's life. He had never felt as useless before as he did just then. This was so wrong; he is Sam's protector not Missouri.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

CHAPTER 9

Sam opened his eyes and stared at Dean with a confused look, and then he turned his head just enough to stare at Missouri, 'where am I?'

'Hey welcome back dude, we're in Missouri's living room, you … Sam you okay?'

'Who are you?' Sam asked staring up at Dean his eyes wide with fear and confusion, 'who am I?'

'Ah fuck not again,' Dean muttered, 'okay Sammy can you tell me what the last thing you remember is?'

'Ah hot, so hot I felt like I was burning … inside … Dean?' Sam blinked a few times and then stared owlishly at his brother, 'what happened Dude?'

'Damn you gave us a fright there Sammy, glad to see you back.'

'Back from where … why am I covered in thawed food and water?' Sam pulled himself up a fraction and winced when he moved his very swollen knee, 'okay which episode of the Twilight Zone did I wake up in?'

'The demon struck again,' Dean spat out bitterly, 'he got into your mind and tried … he used your ah dislike of fire and tried to burn you from the inside out.'

'How, how did you stop it?'

'Missouri, she connected with you somehow and got you to cool down,' Dean said trying to keep his hidden resentment from sounding in his voice.

'I ah I'm going to give you boys some time to yourselves, I have a few things to get organised for supper,' Missouri said scurrying out of the room without waiting for either one to respond to her.

'Strange woman,' Dean muttered.

'I heard that!' Missouri's voice floated out from the kitchen.

'Dean … I still … I can feel him still inside of me,' Sam whispered clutching Dean's arm as though he wanted to use him as an anchor, keeping him attached and secure to real time. 'He, he keeps talking … questioning me, why won't he stop?'

'Sammy, Sam I need you to calm down if you keep this up you'll have another fit,' Dean said wincing as Sam's fingers dug into his skin drawing blood. 'The more panicked you get the more he thinks he's won.'

'What doesn't he want me to remember Dean?' Sam asked suddenly, 'there's something he's trying to prevent me from remembering…' Sam's words trailed off as his eyes went blank; lifeless his jaw slackened enough for his mouth to drop open slightly.

'Sam? Oh dude this is so not the time to wink out on me.' Dean said shifting his position slightly he cupped Sam's face in both hands and forced his brother to look at him, 'I need you to concentrate on my voice Sam, just listen to me and no one else.'

'D-Dean,' Sam whispered his brows dipping into a deep frown, and a sheen of sweat from the concentration glistened on his already pale face.

'That's it Sammy, listen to my voice and mine only. Just follow my voice back to me, you can do this Sammy.'

'It's Sam,' Sam muttered blinking furiously, 'thanks.'

'Now that was just downright creepy and painful!' Dean quipped rubbing the spot on his arm where Sam's fingernails had left crescent shaped bleeding indents. 'Dude you drew blood.'

'Dean … I have to leave … if he's in me and, and I can't remember I could get you or Missouri killed.'

'Not an option Sammy, not on my watch.' Dean declared sitting back slightly he regarded Sam's pale countenance carefully, _'this shit is really taking it out of the kid'_

'Sammy do you hear him now?'

'Yeah but it's turned more into a buzzing sound in my head,' Sam looked at Dean before stifling a yawn, 'why?'

'Do you remember any of the meditations we learnt off that yoga chick, to calm our chakras or some shit like that?'

'I remember … I remember,' Sam's frown deepened as he tried to recall it from the burnt remains of his memory, 'I – I meditated – you, you scored?' Sam asked focusing on Dean's face.

'Yeah well, I'll fill in the blanks when we have time, but for now do you think you can remember enough to meditate now?'

'Not sure … why?'

'Coz dude, if you keep your thoughts busy with thinking of nothing then the demon can't get to you, if he can't get to you he might leave you alone.'

Sam opened his mouth to ask another question but then he reconsidered and sat in thoughtful silence for a few minutes. 'Okay,' he finally spoke, 'what do I do?'

'Try to relax your body, clear your mind of everything and just chant your mantra…'

'Which is?'

'Which is oh I dunno … what_ do_ they usually say in meditations, Ohm, ohm, ohm, something like that.'

'And if I fall asleep?'

'Even better then you should be relaxed enough to annoy the shit out of him, he thrives on chaos and confusion. The more stressed and upset you are the easier it is for him to get into you head.'

'Wow Dean I'm impressed,' Sam gave him a warm smile complete with dimples, it took his breath away as he saw a glimmer of his old Sammy sitting there.

'So we ready or what?'

'Ready,' Sam grinned as he sat back and started to relax himself enough to slip into a meditation, 'hey Dean.'

'Yeah Dude?'

'You're going to be here when I wake up aren't you?'

'Not moving Sam until you do.' Dean promised, 'now please relax yourself,' Dean sat watching Sam as he slipped into his self-induced trance, all lines of fear, pain and confusion left his face and he looked like a small boy once again, with hair in his eyes and a ghost of a smile on his lips. Tenderly Dean ran his hand over Sam's cheek, letting it linger there for a second before he pulled his hand away, a look of infinite sadness on his handsome face.

Missouri turned and left the room silently, not wanting him to see her own tears, _'those boys have been through so much and yet they will never give up, not even when they have lost.' _Shaking her head she made that thought flee her mind, she didn't need to entertain any negativity especially now.

She busied herself making another special tea for the boys to drink, at least she can protect them from the dream sprites while they slept, and with a small chuckle to herself, she poured the tincture into the large pot of soup simmering away on the stove top. What they don't know …

'Do you really think that you can defeat me with potions and spells?' a gruff voice came at her, startled, Missouri span around and stared. A stranger stood in her kitchen wearing a police uniform and with flashing yellow eyes.

'What are you doing here? Get out and leave my boys alone,' Missouri hissed backing away from the possessed man.

'Seems that your neighbours complained about the screaming and crashing coming from in here and rang the police … and seeing that Sammy boy isn't playing nice at the moment I thought that I would reacquaint myself with the local police.'

'Let that poor man go, why are you doing this,' Missouri cried out moving away from the living room doorway, 'why can't you go and find some other poor sap to torment.'

'Now where would the fun be in that?'

'Never stopped you before.'

'Ah but you see I have a reason this time,' the possessed police officer stepped closer to Missouri with jerking half-steps, 'ah good bodies you just can't get willing ones anymore.'

'Shame huh?' Missouri quipped, 'so what do you want anyway? I can make you some nice _herbal _tea.'

'Somehow I don't think that your herbal tea is all that herbal,' the demon laughed, 'all I want is your witty conversation and company for a while until Sam in there gets a wee bit on the exhausted side so I can slide right back in.'

'Won't happen, he's too stubborn,' Missouri retorted.

'Ha, ha that is true, an amazing trait is it not, when you think about it, all three of the Winchester men are stubborn, stubborn right down to their last breathes, however, it seems that poor pathetic little Sammy doesn't remember that particular family quirk. I got in so easily last time, I know I can get in anytime.'

'Give him back his memory, how can this work out if you fill him with false memories.'

'Ah so you are smarter than you act, and very perceptive as well Psychic.'

'Yeah well I try, so nice talking to you – not – I think that it's time for you to pop back into your own realm and leave that poor unfortunate boy's body.'

'Missouri – you alright in there,' Dean called out as he limped slowly into the kitchen in search of some mild pain killers. Sam finally drifted off after calming himself down using mediation but Dean was still running on adrenaline, 'I need something for a killer … everything alright?'

'Dean dear boy, this officer is just responding to some calls from the neighbours seems like Sam's nightmare got a little loud.'

'Oh, oh okay well I just need a couple of Tylenol for a killer headache.' Dean grimaced keeping a close eye on the new arrival, and then I'll leave you alone.'

'Oh we're fine aren't we officer?'

'Yes, yes fine just go about your normal activity I won't be taking up much more of Miss Mosely's time.'

'Cool, don't worry bout me I'll just get some water,' Dean accepted the two tablets from Missouri gave her a quick wink and then backed out of the kitchen, lurking in the shadows he watched the possessed man carefully.

'Dean?' Sam's raspy voice filled the silence starting to descend covering all of them in a chilled and uncomfortable veil, 'Dean where?'

Cursing under his breath Dean rushed back to his brother's side, 'hey Sammy it's okay I'm right here,' Dean greeted his little brother the same way he used to do when they were children and Sam had nightmares.

'Just feel a little freaked,' Sam said with a tremulous smile.

'Hey well you are one freaky kinda geek.' Dean grinned back patting Sam's good leg, 'do you need anything?'

'Nope, just…'

'Just what dude?'

'Can you talk to me about when we were kids, tell me more of what our lives were like, not the fluffy stuff but the … other stuff.'

'Oh 'kay I ah,' Dean ran his hands through his hair and stared into his brother's earnest looking eyes, 'when you were six months old, Mum died in a fire in your nursery, dad got you out and gave you to me, I ran out carrying you and dad came not long after. First off we stayed with various friends and relatives until dad decided until to permanently hunt, then we hit the road.' Dean took a deep breath and chuckled softly, 'we grew up in dungy motels and even worse flea-bitten apartments. I remember one place where we used to have cockroach races, most of the time it was just us.' Dean glanced up at Sam's tear-filled eyes and stopped speaking, 'hey Sammy it's okay.'

'How can it be Dean? All I want to do is to remember our childhood and I can't, it's like it's there just out of focus, I try to tune it in properly and it's gone and not coming back.'

'It will Sam you just have to give it time,' Dean said biting back his anger for the sake of his brother.

'What if it doesn't Dean? I mean what if I never remember and I stuff up on a hunt coz I don't know what I am doing?'

'Sam that is not going to happen,' Dean said a little sharper than he intended.

'How? How do you know Dean, coz I sure enough don't.'

'Coz I won't let it happen, I have looked after you, your entire life Sam and I am not going to stop now, you have a few empty holes in a sometimes crapped out past.'

'Dean please listen …'

'No Sam, listen to me for a moment, I am not even going to let you go there, nothing is going to separate us again, those months when you disappeared and I thought, I ah thought that I was going lose you forever. No dammit we stay together Sam and even if we have to put a stop on the hunts for a while that's fine too but we are not going to separate.' Dean finished his tirade and stared at Sam who chuckled softly and grinned at his brother.

'Okay Dean, I promise … so no more chick flick moments.'

'Dude you are so dead!' Dean growled tossing a cushion at Sam's head.

'Children, children you shouldn't really throw things in the living room,' the demon said pulling a blank faced Missouri behind him. 'Now if you don't play nice with me I might have to punish your friend here.'

'What the fuck? What did you do to her?'

'Nothing that can't be fixed; now the two of you behave or I will make sure that she will remain broken, and it will be both of your faults.'

'Leave them alone, you want me so take me,' Sam said lowering his injured leg onto the floor; he attempted to get up, 'just leave Dean and Missouri alone.'

'Oh so touching and so modestly heroic, you do play the martyr well don't you.'

'Not gonna happen Sam, coz we are sending this yellow eyed freak back to the fiery bowels of hell where he came from.'

'Now, now that is not nice Dean,' the demon chided him; with a small flick of his fingers Dean flew backwards smashing into a bookcase. Then he turned to Sam, his fingers curling slightly, a second later Sam started to choke, gasping for air. 'You see, this is what I have to put up with, wilful children who don't know when to behave and obey me.' He sighed at Missouri standing next to him with an empty face. Inside her head, she could hear her own screams but her frozen body didn't respond. Dean lay crumpled on the floor, unconscious and bleeding, Sam struggled for air as invisible fingers crushed his throat and all she could do was stand there and do nothing.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

CHAPTER 10

Sam forced himself to calm down, remembering what Dean told him about the demon feeding off chaos and panic. As he slowed his breathing he concentrated on the demon holding all of them, his concentration had to be splintered, a small smile played on Sam's face as he realised what he can do.

'What are you smiling at?' The demon snarled a thin sheen of sweat covered the human face of the creature.

'You,' Sam said simply, 'it must be taking an awful toll on you keeping four of us under your power.'

'It is nothing,' the demon panted, 'this human is weak-bodied that is all.'

'Nah I don't think so.' Sam could feel the pressure building in his mind, but a different pressure to that of the demon or his sprite. The pressure came from his overwhelming need to protect Dean, Missouri and the innocent holding the demon's essence. 'I am not going to let you hurt them anymore.'

'Oh you're not?' the demon shook its head, the hold he held over the humans started to waiver.

Sam closed his eyes and felt the metaphysical punch gathering strength as he opened his eyes he let it fly; the demon-possessed police officer flew across the room crashing unconsciously against the hallway wall.

Missouri fell to the floor, her breathing rapid but slowing down with each intake, Sam fell awkwardly but was able to roll at the last moment to avoid completing wrecking his injured leg. Dragging himself over to Dean he stopped next to his brother and had to wait until a wave of dizziness passed over him and he could breath freely once again. 'Dean?' he whispered touching Dean's shoulder, his older brother lay so still amidst the wreckage of the bookcase, blood trickled down the side of his face from a thin cut on his left temple, his left eye bruised and already swelling shut, the bruise running down the side of his face. He must have collided with the bookcase on his left side. Quickly Sam checked the rest of Dean's face and neck, with a shaking hand he reached down and checked his chest. So far so good, but then he saw the growing pool of blood coming from under Dean. Holding his breath, he carefully placed his hand under Dean's shoulder and after two attempts; he managed to roll him over enough to see the damage done. A splintered piece of wood was embedded in Dean's left side, just below his shoulder blade.

'Dean?' Sam cried out, worried that his brother had not moved yet.

Missouri dropped down next to Sam, her face still pale but she looked a lot better, 'let me see Sam,' she said gently placing a hand on Sam's. He glanced up at her and blinked through the unshed tears, 'he's not moving Missouri.'

'But he's breathing and got a pulse and that's all that matters right at this moment.' Missouri said trying to sound as positive as she could. 'Okay I'm going to roll him right over onto his stomach ... that's it ... okay Sam can you just make sure that he's not lying on his arm or anything?' Missouri fussed over Dean making sure that no other injury would be aggravated or that he had any obstructions to his breathing before she ripped his T-shirt and pulled it away from the protrusion in his back. The cloth felt tacky and stuck in places to the already congealing blood. He had lost so much blood already.

Shaking her head, she risked a glance up at Sam before she checked the puncture wound closely. As she probed the area around the injury Dean groaned and tried to move.

Sam placed a steadying hand on Dean's shoulder, 'hey dude I need you to lie still.'

'Sammy? What happened?' Dean asked after three attempts to speak.

'He threw you against a bookcase, you ah, you have a piece of it sticking out of your back.'

'Fuck, is it bad?'

'Dean honey, can you feel anything?' Missouri asked breaking into the brother's conversation without giving it a thought.

'No, no just feel kinda heavy, like I got a weight on me.' He answered with a frown, 'Sammy what's going on?'

'Dean it's going to be okay,' Sam assured his brother, ignoring the terrified look on Missouri's face.

'I – I can't ... we need to get Dean to a hospital.'

'No,' both boys cried out together.

'No more hospitals,' Dean grunted, 'Sammy can fix ...'

Sam opened his mouth but then closed it, he could feel the rush and the metaphysical punch rising again, this time he concentrated on the piece of wood protruding from Dean's back. The large splinter shook slightly and then started to painstakingly inch out of the wound. With a stomach-churning suction sound it finally broke, loose from the entry point, globules of blood, muscle, and flesh sticking to it. Flinging it aside Sam used scraps of Dean's ruined T-shirt to clean around the unnatural opening. His shaking hand accidentally hitting the tender skin harder than he intended eliciting a hiss of pain from Dean. 'Sorry,' Sam whispered as he continued to clean the area.

Missouri visibly shook herself out of the shock that descended over her and hurried as quickly as she could to get her first aid kit and a herbal poultice.

Half an hour later they managed to clean Dean's wound and dress it without too much drama, the possessed police officer lying in a deep sleep on one couch and Dean propped up on the other one with Sam next to him. Missouri flittered between the three young men, checking all of their injuries constantly and passing around herb teas.

'Missouri sit down before you fall down,' Sam said with a wan smile, 'we're fine.'

'Dammit woman you're making me dizzy,' Dean grumbled, 'sit for Pete's sake.'

Missouri sat down and took a heaving sigh staring at the police officer, 'poor boy, he won't know what happened when he wakes up.'

'And when will that be?' Dean asked a little sharper than he intended.

'When he does boy, don't you go questioning me.' Missouri shot back, 'oh my ... look at my living room.'

'What about the demon?' Sam asked as he let his gaze roam around the damage done to Missouri's furniture and living room.

'He fled after you ... what exactly did you do Sam?' Missouri asked her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

'I – I ah don't really know, I'm not sure even if it was me doing it.' He admitted shakily.

'Look Missouri, we really appreciate your help and we hate to leave things like this but I think it will be safer for you if we leave.' Dean said wincing when he tried to move.

'Uhhuh, and exactly where are the two of you going? I hate to say this but you both look like death warmed up and you can barely move Dean. Who's going to drive? I mean Sammy can't remember anything? Can he remember to drive?' Missouri snapped her anger rising unreasonably fast.

'It's Sam and he'll be fine,' Dean grunted, Missouri's sudden outburst getting to him ... it was too out of character for the woman. 'We'll find a remote motel to hole up in.'

'Missouri, we can't thank you enough for what you've done but Dean's right, we have to go it's too dangerous for you if we stay.'

'Boys I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap but...' Missouri couldn't feel anything for the boys, no warnings, no words of encouragement nothing. 'perhaps it would be for the best if you do leave.' She finished suddenly changing her mind, 'an' it best be before this poor unfortunate wakes up.'

'What are you going to tell him?' Sam asked a frown creasing his expressive face.

'That someone broke in, and he got knocked out tackling the intruder.' Missouri shrugged, trying to hide the overwhelming feeling of relief flooding her with the news of their leaving. She shook herself psychically telling herself it was just the residual effects of the demon's control.

'Fine, okay I'm gonna go and get our bags and take them out to the car.' Sam said paling as he slowly stood, waiting for the dizziness to pass and his sight to clear before he moved to the two duffle bags sitting just inside the door. He looked at the woman with a raised eyebrow but didn't say anything he carried one bag out to the impala slowly but surely taking one step at a time. Finally, he finished loading the car and then came back for Dean.

'Perhaps you should stay one more night?' Missouri relented a little when she saw the pallor of both faces.

'No, no we'll be fine ... amazing how the open road can make a guy feel so much better.' Dean gave her a lopsided grin and slid into the passenger's seat grudgingly.

Sam gave Missouri an awkward hug and got in behind the wheel. Taking a deep cleansing breath he forced himself to be calm as he put the car into gear and reversed out of the driveway. Neither of the Winchester brothers looked back at the woman looking forlornly at them as they drove away. Neither of them saw the shadow hovering behind Missouri and watching them.

Sam helped Dean into the motel room as they gazed around in shock, although it was a pleasant shock this time. The double room was clean and fresh smelling.

Two double beds side by side had fresh covers on them with a small shelf dividing them. Directly opposite the door, a small and neat kitchenette complete with a microwave, coffee supplies, a toaster and other necessary items. A breakfast bar with two high-backed stools. A heavy cabinet with drawers stood directly in front of the beds with a large TV on it, a wardrobe next to it and the bathroom door on the other side of the cupboard.

The entire unit was clean, tidy and smelling lightly of musk and roses. 'Wow,' Dean breathed easing himself down on one of the beds, his back ached from the long drive and the poultice made it itch.

'Yeah wow is right,' Sam agreed, 'hey ah I had better check that wound before you lie down.'

Dean grumbled under his breath but let Sam help him out of the shirt and then remove the bandage and poultice. 'Well I think we can get rid of that,' Sam said tossing the dried and stinking bag of herbs and other weirdness aside. He washed the scabbed-over wound and re-bandaged it, 'whatever was in that thing was amazing Dean, no infection and it's already scabbing.'

'And itching,' Dean growled wanting to rip the bandage off and scratch.

'Don't scratch,' Sam smacked Dean's fingers away while he finished dressing the injuries and helped him back into his T-shirt.

Dean watched Sam gingerly lower himself down onto his own bed, easing his aching leg out, shaking his head he thought of something to say but couldn't think of anything, suddenly he felt so tired and lethargic, just close his eyes for a few minutes and he'll be fine.

Lying down on his right side Dean continued to watch Sam until his eyes got too heavy and he fell into an unnaturally deep sleep.

Sam glanced down at Dean satisfied that his brother was asleep before he got up and limped over to the breakfast bar where they set up the laptop. Not sure exactly what he was looking for he started to comb through the files on the portable computer.

Stopping when he saw_ 'Sam's log' _on one of the files, curious he clicked it open and stared at the small window asking for the password. He sat back chewing his thumb nail trying to remember what he would use as a password. Finally, after several aborted attempts, he hit on the right word and the file opened to show his own personal journal.

Peeking over his shoulder, he made sure that Dean was still asleep while he read the entries he had written. None of them sounded familiar and it was like he was reading someone else's life.

Dean moaned and shifted slightly, the dream flashed in his mind, jarring fragments filled with blood and gore.

_Flashes of bodies piling up around him, all mangled and missing parts. He stood unable to move in the centre of the carnage. Then he saw Sam so close but so far away from him to reach. Another image impaled itself on his mind, Sam's body laid out on a pyre, his eyes open but empty, the sockets dark and filled with swirling mists. A long cut down Sam's torso gaped open showing glistening muscles and bones, his heart and other organs all visible. Before Dean could comprehend the impact of the image, everything changed again this time he stood on the edge of a black void. A hollow nothingness filled his senses suffocating him._

_'Dean!' Sam's screams came from the darkness, 'please Dean help me!' Shaking Dean went to step off the edge to follow Sam's voice but he found he was frozen again, forced to watch the horrific parody of death and mayhem in full technicolour. _

_A young woman stood to his right whispering sexy little thoughts into his ear, her tongue darting out to lick along his pulse, ending up on his ear lobe she claimed it with her mouth, the tip of her tongue playing along the sensitive skin._

_Her hand roamed down his body and up again until she found his right nipple. Her sharp fingernails raked over the tender nub eliciting a gasp from Dean, the tantalising pain almost too much to bear._

_He felt her fangs digging deep into his flesh, ripping through the layers until she pierced his artery, thirstily she drank from him as an orgasm raged through his body._

_'Dean help me, please.' Sam's repeated cries for help faded as she held Dean enthralled by her magic. His body tingling and jerking of it's own accord, coming over himself he felt the relief of the tension for the briefest of moments before he hardened again. He felt a second pair of hands on him, scraping fingernails down his hips and thighs, digging into his tender sac. A hoarse scream came from his lips as he threw his head back, his veins corded and bunched on his throat pulsed hard against his transparent skin._

_'Dean why didn't you save me?' Sam floated in his line of sight. 'You let me die Dean why didn't you save me?'_

_'Sammy.' His brother's name caught in his throat as another mouth covered his, a tongue plunging down his throat, he felt like he was being consumed inside and out._

_The images blurred and changed again, and Dean found himself standing at the pyre again staring down at Sam's eviscerated body. A sharp pain in his stomach made him look down, he felt his body floating upward, something pulling him upward until he hovered directly over Sam's body. The pain flared again and he screamed as the knife sliced his stomach open, his own blood dripped down on Sam. His eyes wide with horror saw the tree-lined alcove morph into a room, Sam lay on the bed below him his eyes wide but still sightless, as flames engulfed him their snaking tendrils moving upward seeking out more fresh meat._

Dean's eyes snapped open sitting upright he coughed choking on the acrid smoke filling his lungs. The stench of burnt human flesh filled his nostrils, his stomach rebelled as the taste, and smell reached it. Stumbling he crashed into the end of Sam's bed trying to get to the bathroom before ... blindly knocking Sam over in his rush to expel the contents roiling in his stomach he finally made it to the toilet as the purging started.

'Dean?' Sam's muffled voice came from behind but all Dean could see was flames smell the stench of burning flesh and the choking thickness of the smoke curling around them. His stomach rose violently and expelled the last of its contents, the retching made Dean convulse as he clung to the porcelain bowl like a life-line.

Sam eased himself down on the edge of the bathtub and gently rubbed circles on Dean's back carefully avoiding his puncture wound. After seemingly hours though it was only a matter of minutes Dean lifted his head and sank back until he sat on the floor his head and back resting on the cool wall. He looked up at Sam with a pathetic look of a little boy in his bloodshot eyes. His complexion had a greenish tinge under the two bright red spots on his cheeks and the purple-blue bruise running down the side of his face.

Silently Sam passed him a soft wash cloth rinsed out in cool water and waited patiently for Dean to speak first.

'Water?' Dean finally croaked out, his throat feeling as though he swallowed a pack of extra-sharp razor blades.

Sam handed him a small glass of water and watched Dean intently as he took a few tentative sips, closing his eyes he relished the coolness easing the heat of his throat.

'Dean?' Sam asked hesitantly but tired of waiting for some sort of coherent explanation from his brother.

'Sammy, help me up.' Dean held out a shaking hand and let Sam haul him upright, bracing each other they made their way back into the main room, Dean dropped on his bed and heaved an exhausted sigh, Sam sat down on the other bed and straightened out his bad leg. Sweat beaded along his brow from the effort of concealing just how much pain he was in when he saw the distressed look lingering in Dean's eyes.

'What is it Dean?' Sam asked quietly, 'what happened?'

'Nightmare I guess,' Dean replied his voice quivering with pent-up emotions and an overwhelming feeling of impotence.

'What was it?'

'Aren't the nightmares and visions supposed to be your gig?'

'Dean, what did you see?' Sam persisted ignoring the small dig at his visions.

'Fragments, nothing really solid,' Dean started but then he saw the determined look on his brother's face, 'hey what's that look for? I'm the one who just puked all my insides up!'

'Dean, you were thrashing about, screaming and ... by the time I got to the bed you were up and running to the bathroom.' Sam explained with barely concealed impatience. 'You saw more than fragments.'

'Fuck it Sammy, can't you drop it?'

'No.'

'Fine, I saw death Sam, death, blood and guts all over the place. I saw you lying on a funeral pyre with your body sliced open and your eyes gone,' Dean spat out the words his anger finally breaking free, 'then I was standing on the edge of this big black void and you were calling me for help but I couldn't move. Then there were these vamps doing things ... biting and feeding and ... other things. Next thing I was back at the funeral pyre but this time I felt a burning pain in my stomach, then I hovered over you on a bed, your body cut open wide, and your eyes were open. Last thing I remember was a cut appearing on my stomach and then the fire starting around you.'

Sam sat back stunned at Dean's tirade and at his description of the nightmare. 'You saw me die?'

'More than once.' Dean said spitting out the words, 'and everytime I couldn't get to you ... I was frozen and forced to either watch you die or see your body afterwards and nothing I did could change it.'

'Dean I ...'

'Skip it Sam,' Dean dismissed Sam's attempt at comfort.

'Here,' Sam passed Dean a couple of pain killers and a fresh glass of water. 'Take these and try to get some rest.'

'Sam I ...'

'No it's fine Dean, rest please.' Sam said rolling over until Dean was staring at his back. 'I'm tired myself.'

Dean laid on his right-side the vomiting aggravating his back enough to make it hurt to do anything else. He watched Sam sleeping, there was something different about the way he slept though. Dean let his mind wander a little, noticing just how stiff Sam's back was, usually he curled up on his side or slept with his face buried in the pillow. Panic rose in Dean's chest without warning, cutting off his air supply, gasping for air he tried to wake Sam, when he saw the smoky black cloud hovering over their beds. Sam wasn't asleep he was unconscious, 'No, leave him alone.' He screamed desperately trying to move but his body wouldn't respond.

He could feel the blood running down his back and side from the puncture, the warm tackiness of the blood pooling between him and the sheets. Concentrating on Sam he forced the pain and sense of impending doom out of his thoughts, he had to save Sammy.

He watched Sam roll onto his back, or rather someone pushing him until he lay face up. The black cloud started to form into the semi-corporeal body of man floating above Sam, stretching out until it met his extra long limbs and body.

Dean's body started to shake uncontrollably as he fought to regain control, 'get away from my brother you bastard.' He cried out through clenched teeth.

'He's mine Dean and there is nothing you can do about it.' The demon bragged his hand caressed Sam's face and down his body, 'he is an empty shell ready to be harvested. His memories burnt away, now with one last kiss I shall have him body and soul. Say goodbye to your baby brother Dean.'

'Fuck you.' Dean ground out.

The motel room filled with the acrid stench of sulphur as another presence filled the cramped area. 'What the fuck is going on here? A demon convention?' Dean spat out as he saw the yellow eyes he had embedded on his memory.

'What do you think you are doing?' The yellow-eyed demon snarled at his minion.

'Master, I ah ... playing' The shadow demon pulled away from Sam and careened across the room, 'I have him Master.'

'For what? The Winchesters are mine and no one else is to touch them without my express orders.'

'I own Samuel Winchester,' the shadow declared as it materialised into a more human form, tall with a face similar to Sam's, black hair and fathomless black eyes, fangs protruded from the slightly elongated jaws, the thin red lips curling in a permanent sneer. 'I have his memory,' he produced a glittering orb filled with a shining ball of silver and gold sparkles. 'I am the one who controls him not you, stop me and I will smash it and then he will be useless to you. He will be a mindless vegetable, with no memory and no personality. I have his essence, I have Sam Winchester all you have is an empty shell.' The shadow demon laughed maniacally at the looks on both The Master Demon and Dean before he disappeared leaving behind a cloud of fetid smoke.

The yellow-eyed demon turned on Dean ready to destroy the elder Winchester when he saw the empty body of Sam lying on the other bed. 'No, no not this time Dean Winchester I will be back to claim you, but for now I need you to protect the body until you can retrieve Sam's essence.' He said with an almost tender cadence to the tone of his voice.

'I will never help you.'

'No, I don't suppose you will but you will look after the body of your brother and you will hunt down that moronic idiot who has Sam's mind and memory in that orb.'

'What are you going to do?' Dean asked an overpowering feeling of weariness descended over him; he couldn't stay awake any longer.

'Make sure you don't fail and then I will be back to collect the both of you.' Were the last words Dean heard as his eyes closed.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

CHAPTER 11

Two days later and Sam still lay still only this time he was in the protective custody of Bobby while Dean searched for that fear demon. At least this way Dean had a modicum of relief flooding through him.

As he trudged into the bar, exhaustion dripping from every pore, mingling with the sweat of work and air of despondency. He ordered a beer and found a table hidden in a dark corner, not wanting to interact with anyone, he just wanted to have a quiet drink, get quietly wasted and go back to his motel room, to fall into the stupor of alcohol mixed with sheer exhaustion.

'Want another?' a gravely voice asked breaking into Dean's reverie.

'Huh? What?' He stammered blinking furiously.

'Want another drink? After all searching for a demon is thirsty work, I really must applaud you Dean, you are if anything tenacious.'

'What are you on dude? I just came in here to have a quiet drink.' Dean snarled not wanting to engage the demon in such a public place. What he had in mind had to be very private.

'Allow me to buy you one ... unless of course you don't trust me.' the demon-possessed man smiled, 'tell me how is Sammy doing?'

'His name is Sam and he's fine and somewhere where you can't touch him.' Dean said as he finished his beer and stood up. 'Sorry to cut this short but I gotta bail...you know early night, early morning I got a demon's ass to fry then I got an appointment to get my nails done, hmm might even have a massage too.'

'Such swagger, such arrogance perhaps I was too hasty in which brother I took,' the demon said with a thoughtful look on the stolen face, 'oh well too late to do anything about it now.'

'Why not give me Sam's mind and memory and then we can discuss things.'

'Sorry I don't bargain, but I do cheat.' The demon said before leaving Dean alone and staring at his retreating back.

'What the fuck does that mean?' Dean huffed under his breath as he pulled his leather jacket on and slipped through the crowded bar to the other exit.

Doing a visual search of the car park Dean made his way slowly to the impala, his gun in one hand, and his keys in the other.

His gaze roaming over the different cars and shadows Dean unlocked the car and slid in behind the wheel, resting there for a moment before he roared off kicking up the lose gravel in his wake.

A shadow fell from the lifeless body and slunk along the ground following the impala's trail with insipid accuracy.

Dean stretched his shoulders, again had his glock ready, and cocked before he locked the car and made his way to his lonely room. The shadow slinked along the building watching and building strength again, it had to wait for another human to come along or give it time until it had full strength to tackle the hunter in its true form.

Dean started stripping from the end of his bed to the bathroom leaving a trail of clothes behind him; he stood in the shower recess and turned the water on as hard as it could flow. The scorching water barely registering on his frayed nerves, he braced himself under the water leaning against the tiles and let the water cascade down his muscular back, the scar from the wound in his shoulder shone with the new pink skin covering the hole, aside from the odd itch it healed quicker than Dean could ever have imagined.

Whatever Missouri had put in that poultice worked wonderfully. Stretching his aching muscles Dean relished the feeling of the water washing away the grime and sweat from his body.

Sighing deeply he started to soap up and slowly scrubbed the ingrained dirt trying to forget about his brother's body lying at Bobby's house, breathing but not living.

Trying to forget the desperate aching loneliness in his heart and that overwhelming sense of dread that had enveloped his usual swagger and confidence. Without Sam at his side, his heart was no longer in the hunting. The only thing in his heart is the driving need to obliterate the demon, not just kill it, not just send it back to the bowels of hell, but to destroy it completely and utterly.

Turning the shower off after he drained it of all of the hot water, he stepped out of the cubicle and stood in front of the mirror, staring at his misty image in the steamy mirror.

He took in each and every scar that he bore on his body, he could name where, and when he received all of them. With a low growl deep in his stomach, Dean fisted his hand and smashed it into the mirror, the immediate pain in his knuckle giving him verification that he was still alive.

A loud crashing sound in the other room startled him wrapping his hand in a towel he slowly made his way out of the bathroom, his ever-present glock firmly in his good hand.

'Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my room?' Dean snarled at the intruder.

'Hey, hey calm down mister, I heard the glass breaking and thought that you needed help.' The middle aged man stared at the gun aimed at his head, 'I'm the night-manager do you want to put that gun down?'

'Sorry dude, and ah I'll pay for the mirror.'

'No problems just as long as you're alright.' The man said a look of relief flooding over his face.

Dean waved his hand dismissively waving the gun at him, 'look don't want to be rude but...'

'Yeah, yeah right ... you should get that looked at.' The man turned to leave but then pushed the door shut and turned with a malicious look on his face, 'of course I could do that for you now.'

'What the fuck?' Dean lifted his gun again but he was a second too slow and the possessed man pounced, knocking the gun free he pinned Dean against the floor and gripped his head pushing his fingers hard into Dean's skull.

'Get off me.' Dean ground out, he managed to position his legs and wrapped them around his assailant easily rolling him, straddling the man's waist he punched the man's face repeatedly until the head rolled under the force of the punches, blood and membrane spurting over the carpet.

Breathlessly Dean sat back on his haunches and nursed his injured hand close to his chest as he stared down at the man lying beneath him.

'Oh Dean I didn't know you were batting for the other team.' A scornful voice came from just behind him, turning his upper body Dean managed to get a glimpse of the demon's true form before he crumpled unconscious over the dead man's body.

The demon stood smiling happily as he tossed the syringe on the floor and bent down to grasp Dean's arms and haul him to his feet. He ran an appreciative eye over Dean's naked form before dropping him on the bed and rolled him in the bed covers. Easily lifting the rolled bundle he slung his prisoner over his shoulder and carried him out, leaving two of his minions to take care of Dean's things and the body he had more important things to take care of.

His hand roamed over the blanketed rump and sighed happily, he enjoyed doing things to the younger brother but he felt as though he could do a lot more to this one, be a lot more adventurous.

Dropping Dean on the floor, he kicked it until it rolled open and Dean's naked form rolled onto his back, splaying him open for perusal.

With a primal growl the demon dropped to his hands and knees and crawled towards his prey. Sniffing the air, it growled again and then crouching over the prone man explored him with his fingertips. Running them over Dean's rock hard abdominal muscles, he circled his navel teasing the light hairs around it and then he moved his roaming hands upwards until he could caress each nipple. Teasing and twisting it, until Dean, still unconscious writhed under the ministrations. Sighing with satisfaction the demon placed his hands on each side of Dean's head and lowered himself until he was lying on top, biting and nipping he covered Dean's face and neck in vicious bite marks and at times left puncture holes trickling with blood.

Sliding down the torso he pushed himself back up on his haunches and investigated Dean's groin.

Dean's body jerked spasmodically then his eyes shot open and he struggled to come to terms with what was happening. 'Get the fuck off me you pervert.' Dean snarled arching his back he managed to dislodge the demon whose hand was still curled around his semi-erect cock. 'Touch me again and I will castrate you.' Dean threatened gripping and twisting the wrist until the demon let him go.

Panting heavily Dean struggled to his feet and backed away from his molester. 'Did you do this to Sam?' He spat the question out staring at the demon in horror.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

CHAPTER 12

* * *

Bobby sat up startled and stared at Sam in disbelief. The young man was sitting up in the bed and staring around with the innocent abandonment of a small child. Eyes wide and curious, lower lip chewed lightly and a gaze that barely rested on anything for more than a second at a time.

'Sammy?' Bobby asked his voice barely above a whisper, not wanting to startle the young man.

'Who am I?' Sam asked his own voice soft and lilting, 'who are you?'

'Your name's Sam and I'm Bobby I've been looking after you while you big brother had to go get something to help you get better.'

'I been sick?'

'Yeah Son you have,' Bobby spoke in an even tone not wanting to startle Sam, 'you've been really sick.'

'Is that why I can't member?'

'Yeah it is.'

'Where's my daddy and Mummy?'

'Ah Sam how old are you? Do you remember?'

'I um I'm four years old,' Sam grinned and tucked his long legs up against his chest unaware that he was in fact an adult.

'What do you remember Sam?'

'Um n-n-n-no hurts.' Sam screwed his face up and started to cry burying his face against his hands 'I – I s-s-s-scared.'

'Uh okay, um Sam ... Sam it's okay you don't have to be scared.' Bobby patted the young man's shoulder awkwardly desperately wanting Dean to be here. He was better with the touchy feely crap than Bobby was.

'Who am I B-B-Bobby?' Sam hiccuped gazing up at the older man with tear wet green eyes.

'Okay you're Sam Winchester, you have a brother Dean and...and well it's just the two of you now.'

'How old is D-D-Dean?'

'Older than you by four years.'

'He's eight?'

'Ah actually Sammy ... why umm why don't you get some sleep.'

'Owkay ... B-B-Bobby wh-where's D-D-Dean?'

'He'll be back soon,' Bobby reassured the distraught boy, _'I hope.'_ He added silently in his thoughts.

Sam pushed himself back down the bed and stared up at Bobby with wide innocent eyes, 'who – who is that man?'

'What man Sam?'

'The, the man with ... yellow eyes?' Sam asked fear thick in the question, 'he-he hurt m-m-me.'

'He can't hurt you anymore Sammy, you're safe here. I'm gonna take care of you until Dean comes back.'

'Th-th-thank you.' Sam stammered as his eyes fluttered shut, then they shot open and he stared at Bobby once again, 'will ya b-b-b-be here when I wake up?'

'Aint going no where Kid, get some sleep okay?'

'Owkay.'

_Large creatures hid in the shadows making scary noises, Sammy ran as fast as his legs could carry him, but he couldn't get away from him. He could see someone standing in front of him but the shadow creatures were holding him back, the long needle like fingers pierced his skin and made him scream in terror. He could feel the safe presence of someone standing in the distance and he reached out to try to grip their offered hand. But then the ground became soft and slippery and he felt himself pulled downwards into the dirt and mud away from the safe haven. 'Dean!' he screamed as his head disappeared under the mud._

Sam woke shaking and sobbing, he stared around the strange bedroom confused and feeling utterly alone. Climbing from the bed, he crept along the wall until he could reach out and touch the door handle. Sliding through the door, he headed to the muted light at the end of the hallway. 'Damn it Dean answer your phone.' He could hear Bobby cussing; shrinking back from the angry voice Sam hovered in the shadows.

His head hurt, the nightmare scared him more than he wanted to admit too, now he felt sick in the belly and no one was with him when he woke up. There was no one to hold him and tell him that it was going to be alright. Swallowing down on a sob Sam turned and went through to the living room and the front door, taking a deep breath he stepped out into the moonlit night and trudged down the road. He had to find his brother; he didn't want to be alone anymore.

Bobby sat up and listened intently he was sure that he heard the front door open, swearing repeatedly he ran to the spare room to check on Sam, his anger growing with each passing second when he saw the bed empty, he was such a fool leaving the kid alone like that. Grabbing coats for them and another gun Bobby ran out to find the kid. Knowing that if he lost Sam, he may as well shoot himself because Dean surely would without blinking.

* * *

Dean groaned and tried to lift himself up and then thought twice about it. He blinked and squinted around at his new surroundings, the last thing he could remember was asking if that thing had molested his brother, now, now he was lying in a soft bed in an opulently decorated bedroom.

Well that and the fact that he was tied ankle and wrist to the bed, flat on his back soft down pillows under his head enabled him to get a good view of the room but he was completely immobile.

Craning his head slightly he noticed that his busted hand was now encased in a white cast, in fact all of his injuries had been attended too. Frowning Dean tried to put together the sequence of events that happened since leaving Bobby's.

'Ah nice to see you awake, how are you feeling my boy?' the demon sashayed into the room carrying a tray laden with food and drink.

'What the fuck is going on?' Dean ground out glaring at his captor 'let me lose.'

'Oh I am sorry but you see I can't quite trust you yet.'

'What do you want from me?' Dean demanded. 'You got Sammy why do you need me?'

'Sammy was tasty but he broke so easily losing his memory like that so I couldn't taste his fears, so rich in fears I can understand why the Master wants him so. He is divine, but oh my darhling he is not you.'

'Get a life, I don't swing that way and even if I did I wouldn't even look at you twice...you aint my type.'

'Oh and what is your type?'

'Let's see, red hair, blue eyes, legs that disappear and oh yeah a pair of something that you can never have.'

'Cute,' the demon put the tray next to the bed and sat down positioning himself so that his leg rubbed against Dean's torso. 'Want to know my type?'

'Not particularly.'

'Well I like anything under thirty, good looking, slightly unbalanced, full of fear and of that oozing male sex appeal. Your brother he was so attractive for his sensitivity and brokenness I could take from him all of the time that is until he left me his memory and lost himself.' The demon brushed a finger over Dean's cheek relishing in the way Dean jerked away from him, 'so strong willed, so masculine. I am so going to enjoy you.'

'What did you do to my brother's soul and memory?' Dean asked changing the subject.

'Wrong question Dean.' The demon spat out reaching over he grabbed a handful of Dean's hair and pulled back holding his head rigid, 'you do know don't you that I can make this very pleasurable for you or very, very painful.'

'Do your worst,' Dean spat the words out at the demon watching his own spittle slide down that arrogant face, 'as long as Sam's safe from you I don't care.'

'Oh know how did I know that?' the demon positively beamed as Dean's stomach clutched and spasmed in fear, something was wrong. 'Oh baby what's the matter you don't look so good.'

'What have you done?' Dean ground out.

'Hmm let me keep that as a surprise for now,' the demon reached down and stroked Dean's chest, letting his finger nails trail over the taunt skin. 'I can taste the revulsion and fear, you are feeding me now Dean and you don't even realise it.'

'You do like to hear your own voice don't you,' Dean said closing his eyes, 'I don't really care so just wake me up when you're finished.'

'You little fool, I hold your life in my hands, and yet you still defy me!' The demon screamed digging his fingernails into the skin until pools of blood decorated Dean's chest.

Dean's eyes flew open as the pain increased exponentially in mere seconds; the demon buried his hand in Dean's chest squeezing his heart until it felt like it was going to burst.

'I can do what I want to you Dean and there is nothing you can do to stop me,' the demon bragged, pulling his hand out slowly he held it up to show Dean that it was completely clean, no sign of blood on it anywhere. Dean gasped for air as and tried to see his chest, no injury or sign of what happened existed. Except for the scratches already made.

* * *

Sam trudged along the road, his shoulders hunched, and his hands deep in his jeans pockets. He sniffled back the tears, telling himself that daddy would be mad if he saw Sam cry. Big boys don't cry.

'Hey kid you need some help?' A rough voice made Sam jump and stumble backwards.

'I – I'm not s-s-s-supposed t-t-t-to talk t-t-t-to strangers.' Sam stammered trying to regain his balance.

'Yeah well, I know you so that means I aint no stranger.'

'I – I gotta g-g-g-go.' Sam tried to push past the man but he felt the strong hands grab his arms, struggling he tried to pull away but the man held tight. 'L-l-leave m-m-me lone.'

'Can't do that kid.' The man laughed, 'so how old are you?'

'F-f-f-four.' Sam whimpered, 'leave me lone.'

'Shut the whining kid.' The man snarled backhanding Sam across the face, 'you're coming with me, there's someone waiting for you.'

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

CHAPTER 13

'Let the kid be,' Bobby growled stepping out of the shadows with his gun aimed at the stranger's chest. 'Sammy come over here boy.'

'You, you not m-mad B-B-Bobby?' Sammy cried as he wrenched his arm free and ran to stand behind Bobby.

'Nope not at you Sammy, okay you git going or you will regret it.'

'I will be back for the boy, the Master has him marked.' The stranger sneered.

'Yeah well let's see how you feel being marked.' Bobby said as he aimed the gun a little straighter and fired.

'B-Bobby?'

'He aint gonna hurt you anymore Sammy, how's about we get back to the house and wait for Dean to come home.'

'Owkay,' Sam sniffed, balling his hands in his jeans pockets he walked alongside Bobby scuffing his shoes on the way.

'Something wrong Sam?'

'What's wrong with me?' Sam asked blinking big green eyes at Bobby, 'l-l-look at m-m-me why am I – I s-s-so big?'

'Oh ah okay, well Sam it's like this a bad demon played a pretty nasty trick on you and took all of your memories and thoughts away from you.'

'Oh.' Sam said simply as he kept walking.

'So, so I've been looking after you since Dean went to see if he can get them back for you.'

'Thanks Bobby,' Sam grinned shyly. 'Bobby?'

'Yeah Sam?'

'How old am I?'

'Why?'

'Well I know I'm t-t-too big to b-b-be a kid...'

'You're twenty-four years old Sam, Dean's twenty-eight.' Bobby said watching the younger man carefully.

'Oh,' Sam whispered, 'thanks Bobby.'

'So how about we get out of the cold and go get some hot chocolate?' Bobby asked trying to sound a little brighter for the kid's sake.

'Sounds g-g-good.' Sam's grin widened.

* * *

Dean opened his eyes and waited for them to adjust to the dim lighting, he was lying on the floor of another room, dressed only in his jeans, even his shoes and socks were gone. Shivering slightly he rubbed his hands along his arms trying to get some feeling and warmth back into them. His wrists and ankles bore the signs of restraints, bruises forming under the red welts; they were going to hurt once feeling returned.

'So Dean another fine mess you've got yourself into.' He muttered aloud, clambering to his feet he started to pace the length of the windowless room. An old mattress against one wall with a crate next to it the only furniture in there. An unopened bottle of water on top of the crate caught Dean's eye.

He downed the water and started coughing, too much, too quickly but it did help to ease the dryness in his throat.

'Nice to see you up and about,' a very annoyingly nasal voice came from the doorway; spinning around Dean stared at the new intruder.

'Who the fuck are you?' He asked his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

'Oh I could answer that in so many ways, but suffice it to say Sweetcheeks that I am your knight in tarnished armour.'

'Say that again?'

'Keep up Deano or you will be left behind.'

Dean growled and launched himself at the annoying little man pressing him up against the wall, bunching his fist in the man's shirt he moved intimidatingly close.

'Let's start this again, who are you and what do you want?'

'Ah down big boy ... I can get you out of here.'

'Why?'

'Well if you would let me go I will tell you.'

Dean snarled and pressed his face closer until the tips of their noses touched and then he slammed his free fist into the wall next to the man's head before he let go. 'Start talking.'

'I ah was sent by the big boss,' the man snivelled rubbing his chest where Dean had pushed his fist in hard, 'he is what you might say concerned with the upstart and his designs on Father's prize.'

'Speak in English Dude,' Dean snapped wearily dropping on to the mattress he nursed his hand and glanced up at the other man, 'you still here?'

'Father ... who you know as the Yellow Eyed Demon? He is pissed at the strife demon, the one who took your brother's memory and mind, and who has you trapped here at the moment.'

'And this concerns me how?'

'Well as long as the idiot keeps hold of your brother's stuff then my Master cannot use him. That makes him very angry as his plans have been put on hold because of this stupid git of a demon.' The man straightened his shoulders and stared down at Dean, 'I'm your pass out of here, all you have to do is kill the strife demon, get the orb back and then well let's say game on then.'

'So we have a truce until Sam is whole again?'

'Yeah well Dude, at the moment that's the way it stands coz Father can't get his job done with this idiot running around and stealing stuff from Father's chosen ones. Especially Sam.'

Dean jerked his head up and stared at the little man with an icy cold stare, a shadow passed over his face as he stood slowly and moving like a predator stalking his prey he pounced. 'What do you mean especially Sam?'

'I – I don't know anymore, honest that's all Father trusted me with, for some reason Sam is important to his plans, hey maybe it's coz you guys are hunters and were raised by a hunter. I dunno.'

'If I find out that you have been lying to me you will end up the same as the strife demon.'

'Hey, hey Dean no need for violence Dude, I'm here to help remember.'

'What's your name?'

'Chester but most people call me Chessy.'

'Chester?' Dean passed his hand over his face suddenly feeling very tired, 'okay Chester where is he?'

'Who?'

'The strife demon ... geeze save me from freaking idiots.'

'Oh ... he's ah waiting for ya, see he thinks that I work for him, truth is that I am just here to make sure that you take him out.'

'Why not just do it yourself?'

'Well see ah it's like this, first up well um where would the fun be in that? I would rather watch you kick arse and not get this gorgeous face knocked about and well um also coz the Father said so.'

'And whatever he says goes huh?'

'Dude remember who you're talking about.' Chessy gasped his eyes wide with terror, 'and careful where you say it ... he's everywhere.'

Dean opened his mouth to shoot off another barb but decided to behave himself; he needed to get the orb back to Sam that's all that matters. 'So you gonna take me to him or what?'

'After you Sweetcheeks.'

'Call me that again and you will have a messed up face.' Dean threatened Chessy as he cautiously left the room.

'It's alright Dude, the idiot thinks that I am bringing you to him anyway.' Chessy grinned grabbing Dean's arm he led him down the hallway, 'Dude act the part you're supposed to be the defeated prisoner not a warrior on steroids.'

'Alright already,' Dean grumbled dropping his gaze to the floor and slumping his shoulders a little more.

'Much better okay let's go get rid of the idiot and get back to the right order of things.'

'I hope that you have slept well Dean,' the strife demon sneered as he watched Chessy drag a stumbling Dean in, 'oh good you have given him the sedatives?'

'Yes Master, he's nice and docile aint ya Sweetcheeks.'

Dean mumbled something unintelligible and kept his eyes downcast, he felt the demon come closer to him rather than see where he was. Just a little closer and then Dean could react.

A massive blow to his lower back took Dean by surprise, gasping for breath he dropped to his knees and tried to fight the dizziness descending on him, 'that's dirty.' He ground out.

'I know but fun.' The demon grinned moving around to face Dean, 'oh poor baby I can taste the pain and fear oozing from you.'

'Oh I bet you can,' Dean ground out as he sucked in his stomach and straightened his back. 'Don't choke.'

'Ah baby what else do you have for poppa?'

'Oh Dude that is just plain sick.' Dean said as he faked another collapse then came up with a crushing upper cut to the demon's jaw sending him flying across the room.

'What the fuck?' The strife demon bellowed pulling himself up he started to levitate in front of Dean, 'oh so you still have some fight left in you have you.'

'You aint seen nothing yet.' Dean grinned, 'come on and take another taste if you dare.'

The fight was long and exhaustive for both of the combatants; Dean finally gained control and straddled the fading energy of the possessed man. Gripping his prey's throat, he started to squeeze watching with grim satisfaction as the eyes wide and unfocused went from a deep brown to black discs back to the deep brown. The mouth dropped open and a black odious cloud came spewing out, Dean dropped backwards and rolled away from the putrid exhalation.

Chessy giggled and then tossed the orb to Dean and waved goodbye to the ailing young man. Confused Dean tried to sit up but his own injuries and exhaustion thought better of it and wouldn't cooperate with his mind.

In the growing darkness of his awareness Dean frowned and stared at the other demon something didn't feel right.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bobby paced the living room every so often glancing down at the sleeping Sam, the boy was starting to scare him, going from an innocent child of four to a petulant and tantrum ridden toddler in the body of a twenty-four year old man was downright dangerous.

A loud thud outside made the hunter jump, cussing under his breath at his own anxiety Bobby grabbed his favourite gun and went to the door. Opening it cautiously he glanced around the perimeter, at first not seeing anything but then he heard a low groan, frowning he glanced over at Sam once again and then with gun drawn went to investigate. 'Dean?' he gasped when he saw the lifeless body lying on the footpath leading to his front door. 'Damn Son what the hell happened to you?' Sliding the gun in his waistband Bobby rolled Dean over and checked his breathing and pulse, 'well that's something I guess.' He mumbled.

Carefully he slid his arms under Dean and using his knees managed to lift the young man slinging him over his shoulder. With another cursory glance around the yard, he hurried back into the house.

Grimacing under the extra weight, he had to let Dean slide down onto the floor giving Bobby a clear view to assess Dean's injuries. The worst was the large bruise on his lower back and swelling around the base of his spine. Bruising and abrasions from a recent fight and others that he would rather not know about. Especially the ones on Dean's wrists and ankles.

'B-Bobby?' Sam asked rubbing at his eyes sleepily, 'thirsty.'

'Okay I'll get you some water but I got do some stuff first Sammy.'

'Why ... wh-what do you hafta do?' Sam asked his eyes growing wider when he saw Dean unconscious on the floor, 'Wh-what h-h-happened?'

'Dean got hurt bad Sammy ... can you help me?'

'Owkay,' Sam slid off the couch and knelt next to Dean's head softly stroking his face, 'Dean's got big owies?'

'Yep he has, now can you sit with him while I go and get a few things?'

'Yep I can do that.' Sam smiled his stammer gone now he was back with Dean.

A soft moan startled the younger man and he scooted back until he hit the couch, pulling his knees up he curled his arms around his legs and watched with wide puppy dog eyes as Dean squinted at him in surprise.

'Sammy?'

'You got an owie Dean,' Sam said his lower lip trembling.

'Yeah I got ... an owie Dude?' Dean shook his head and immediately regretted it, 'you okay Sammy?'

'Yeah better now youse back Deanie.' Sam managed a tremulous grin. 'I gotta watch you while Bobby gets a few things.'

'Okay thanks Sammy.'

'Deanie ... Bobby said I been sick.'

'Yeah you have dude.'

'He said that I will get better when you get back.' Sam ventured a little closer to Dean, 'will I get better now?'

'I hope so, hey Sammy how old are you now?'

'Deanie you should know.'

'Hey I got hit on the head; you'll have to remind me Sammy.'

'I is four, a big boy now.' Sam said proudly, 'but Bobby said I is twenty four and I got sick and losted my memories.'

'Something like that, hey Sammy can you help me sit up a little bit?'

'I don' wanna hurt ya.'

'You won't Sammy I promise.'

'Owkay I guess,' Sam glanced over to where Bobby disappeared and then crawled over back to where he knelt before. 'Hey Deanie what's that pretty ball?'

'Hey be careful with that Sam.'

'I feel funny Deanie,' Sam said scrunching his face up he rubbed his temples, 'my head hurts.'

'Sam?'

'D-Deanie?' Sam rolled his eyes to stare pitifully at his brother, 'I feel ... hurts ... help ... Deanie?' Sam stammered as his eyes rolled back into his head and he slid sideways hitting his head lightly on a side table as he went down.

'Damn it,' Dean struggled to sit up, but the pain of injuries made it difficult, 'Bobby!' he bellowed, 'damn it Bobby!'

'What, what is it?' Bobby came running with his arms full of medical supplies, 'Sam?'

'He picked up the orb and collapsed, damn it Bobby can you check him for me?'

'Sure you stay put...'

'Bobby!'

'I mean it Dean, you got a swelling on your spine, I don't want it to get aggravated, now stay put.'

'Fuck.' Dean slammed a fist on the floor and watched Bobby checking on Sam.

His younger brother laid so still, his hands clutched around the orb tightly; he showed no sign of coming too, or even breathing for that matter.

'Bobby? Talk to me.'

'Faint pulse and very slow breathes Dean, his hands are rigid I can't pry them away from the orb.'

'Leave it, just watch him for any changes, I have no idea of what to expect.'

Suddenly the orb started to emit a bright golden glow enveloping Sam. his back arched and then he slumped to the floor, 'Dean!' He screamed his brother's name and then his head rolled lifelessly to the side, his eyes wide and unseeing.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry it has taken so long to update but I have just started University and have had to reorganise my time, the good news is now that I have my official timetable worked out I can have my writing time back!!

Oh and just a side note, no major cliff hanger with this one, and nope I am not sick!! LOL

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CHAPTER 14

Dean kept taking surreptitious glances over at Sam, it was two hours now since Sam regained consciousness but the young man remained silent. He appeared not to be even aware of Dean or Bobby. He sat with his back against an armchair, his knees drawn up to his chest with his long arms wrapped around them hugging them tight to his chest. His gaze fixed on a place only Sam could see.

Terrified that he had fallen for another trick by the demon Dean refused to go and rest in the bedroom, ignoring his own pain he wanted, no he had to stay where he could see Sam.

Bobby hovered over both the silent young brothers; unsure of what to do for them in all of the years he had known these boys he had never known them to be so quiet.

Feeling unsettled he stalked off to the kitchen busying himself with making a late supper.

'Sammy?' Dean whispered as sleep finally took control of his mind and he drifted off while staring at Sam's profile.

Tears fell freely from Sam's eyes as he sat trying to assimilate everything that crashed through his mind. His four year old self cried openly, terrified at what was happening he didn't understand why he couldn't go to Dean, Dean would make it all better.

But adult Sam, still had no connection with the frightened toddler, there was something missing, not all of his memories were there.

'Dean?' Sam murmured turning to look at the bruised and battered man asleep on the couch, his handsome face marred by multi-coloured bruises and a large gash running down the side of his face. Stiffly Sam stood and on wobbly legs stepped closer to his brother until he was able to sit down on the floor with his back against the couch, turning onto his side Sam rested his head on Dean's hand and closed his eyes, he just had to rest for a few minutes and then he'll be a lot better.

Bobby came back in to announce supper was ready when he found the brothers sleeping. Dean on the couch and Sam sitting on the floor with his head resting on Dean's hand.

Smiling tenderly down at the younger men he considered his adopted sons, though he would never admit to that under cross examination, he picked up a throw rug and gently covered Dean's legs with it. Then, going to the closet he pulled out another rug and draped it over Sam's shoulders. 'Night boys,' he smiled as he turned the lights off, leaving the hallway one on in case they woke during the night. He put the food away for reheating in the morning and made his way to his own bed. Suddenly feeling exhausted himself.

Dean opened his eyes with a start, pain flared from the bruise on his back and his arm felt like it was going on numb, but when he managed to focus his sight clearly he saw Sam's head resting on his hand.

The contact filled Dean with a healing warmth no drug or medical intervention could possibly come close to. With a deep sigh he moved slightly to take the pressure off his lower back and then settled back to sleep, his free hand now resting lightly on Sam's shoulder.

_Sammy stayed quiet knowing that if no one heard him he would be safe. He huddled against the big tree, feeling the hard bark against his back, the roughness grazing his fragile skin. But he was safe, no one would find him there._

_Shouting and gunshots startled him and he pressed harder against the tree, his hands over his mouth to stop himself from crying out. 'Sammy where are you?' he heard Dean call out, but it was a trick. It couldn't be Dean could it?_

_'Sammy you don't have to hide anymore Dad got the monster.' Dean called again, 'come on buddy time to go home.'_

_Sam frowned, home he remembered just motel rooms, no home, no mummy ... where's mummy?_

_'Sammy hey there you are.' Dean smiled and crouched down in front of the frightened child. 'Come on kiddo time to go home.'_

_'Where's home Dean? I losted.' Sammy cried throwing his arms around Dean's neck, 'I losted and don't wanna be anymore.'_

_'It's okay Sammy, I'll take care of you, I will always take care of you.' _

Sam cried out and jerked his head up, fresh tears still damp on his cheeks, he stared around in fright, unsure of where he was, 'Dean?' he cried out loudly, 'Dean?'

'Hey Sammy, it's okay I'm here.' Dean's sleep-filled voce came from behind him. 'It was just a dream Dude.'

Sam pulled away and turned to face Dean, his green eyes wide and luminous in the sliver of moonlight breaking through the blinds. 'You're Dean?'

'Yep the one and only,' Dean tried to sound upbeat but it came out as a grunt with the fresh waves of pain coursing through him.

'Dean? And, and we're at Bobby's?'

'Yep that's it Sam, we're safe here.'

'You're hurt!' Sam said it as a statement and not as a question.

'Ah I'm fine.'

'No, no you're not ... want me to get Bobby?'

'Nope, let him sleep he's been putting up with us too much lately,' Dean grimaced trying to hide the pain but failing miserably.

'Pain killers?'

'Yeah thanks Dude.' Dean admitted begrudgingly.

Sam uncoiled his long body and stood up swaying unsteadily he lurched to the darkened kitchen. Moments later, he reappeared carrying a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers with Dean's name scrawled over the label.

Dean took two and then downed the glass of water, not realising just how thirsty he was, he watched Sam fidgeting as he waited for Dean to say something. 'So Sammy how old are you tonight?'

'Dude!' Sam whined and then grinned, 'hmm well I guess twenty-four?'

'Good guess, and where are we?'

'Bobby's house.' Sam sighed his gaze wandering around the room, stopping on the piles of reference books and papers on the old desk, salt lines on the window sills and then he flickered his gaze to the ceiling where the devil's trap was, the one that held Meg so long ago now.

'Sam hey concentrate for me,' Dean snapped trying to get Sam's attention, he may be twenty-four again but he has the attention span of a four year old. 'Who was Jess?'

'Jess?' Sam frowned, the name was so familiar, tears prickled his eyes as he knew that he should remember her easily but something blocked it.

'Okay how about an easier one, what was Dad's name?'

'John ... whatcha mean was Dad's name?' Sam glared down at Dean, 'where's Dad Dean?'

'Ah okay awkward ... we'll talk about that later Sammy, I just need to know if you're really back with me.'

'You're Dean, you're twenty-eight, I'm Sam your brother, I'm twenty-four, our last name is Winchester, we're hunters, and, and we're staying at Bobby's house.' Sam rattled off the memories he was sure of, embarrassment shone on his face as he realised that there was a lot still missing. 'Jess meant a lot to me didn't she?' he asked softly.

'Yeah dude she did.'

'Jess is dead?'

'Yeah two years ago now.' Dean confirmed the memory for Sam.

'Dad's dead isn't he!' Sam stated his voice low and empty.

'Yeah, the demon took him.' Dean said preferring not to elaborate on it any further.

'Demon?'

'The yellow eyed bastard that took, Mum, Jess and now Dad.' Dean spat out regretting it instantly when he saw the tears welling in Sam's overly-expressive eyes. 'Dude I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap.'

'That's okay Dean,' Sam said so softly that Dean had to strain to hear him. 'want me to help you up to bed, it'll be more comfortable than that couch.'

'Thanks Sammy but I ...ah!' Dean winced and gasped audibly as he tried to put weight on his feet. His lower back flared in flames of pure agony, 'yeah you had better, don't want to wake Bobby up.'

'Yeah right,' Sam smiled ruefully as he wound one long arm around Dean's waist mindful of his lower back injury, 'lean on me completely Dean.'

'Hey who's the older brother here?' Dean protested weakly.

'You are but I don't have a smashed lower back, now lean on me or I will carry you.' Sam threatened with an evil grin.

'Dude you are so gonna pay for that,' Dean grumbled but did as Sam asked and leant heavily on his taller younger brother. 'This is so embarrassing.'

'Dude stop complaining and walk.'

Dean took a couple of shaking steps and then felt the white pain whip his legs out from under him and he stumbled against Sam. Without saying anything Sam slipped his arm under Dean's knees and easily picked him up carrying him the rest of the way to the bedroom.

'Dude you are so dead if anyone finds out about this.' Dean fumed hating to be so dependent on anyone let alone Sam.

'Yeah right, first you have to be able to catch me,' Sam quipped as he staggered with Dean's extra weight but still managed to get him to the bedroom without further incident. Five minutes later Dean lay on his side with pillows piled up behind his shoulders and the backs of his legs to stop him from accidentally rolling onto his back.

'You have to let me see it Dean,' Sam said a little forcefully than before, 'even with my Swiss-cheesed memory I can still remember how to check out deep bruising.'

Grumbling under his breath about the indignity of it all Dean gave in and let Sam check out the damage.

'Oh dude,' Sam breathed when he saw the large black bruise and swelling spanning the width of Dean's back. From one hip to the other was one large bruise. 'It's really bruised and swollen, Dude what did they get you with a tank?'

'Felt like it, I guess fighting as well doesn't help huh?'

'Nope not really, just adds to it.' Sam said dryly, 'I'll go and get an ice pack we have to get that swelling down it's pressing on your spine.'

'Tell me something I don't know,' Dean mumbled miserably. 'Damn Sammy that's cold.' He flinched when Sam pressed the ice against his bare skin.

'Sorry Dean,' Sam felt himself flinching in time with Dean. 'Hey umm can you tell me something?'

'What?'

'I ah had a dream, dunno it was weird but I was a little kid hiding against a big tree. There was a lot of yelling and gunshots and then you found me ... you said that Dad killed the monster.'

'Oh man that was a long time ago, you would have been around four I guess, we were on our way to another motel, when we had to stop for a pee break. You and your weak bladder dude ... anyway Dad saw the tracks made by a werewolf, he told us to stay in the car but you didn't hear him coz you were busy watering the trees. The beast came after you and you ran and hid in the woods. Dad tracked and killed it and the while he finished with it he sent me to find you.'

'So you were eight?'

'Yep, you used to hide so well but somehow I always found ya.'

'Thanks Dean.'

'What for?'

'Filling in the blanks, I – I thought that it was just a dream.' Sam admitted, suddenly finding himself wondering just how many memories he had dismissed as dreams.

'Nope really happened Dude, and Dad didn't even seem to get that mad with us coz we didn't get hurt and we got back to the car before he did.' Dean explained visibly relaxing as the ice pack drew out the heat from his back.

'Dean?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'Dad, he – he used to get really mad with me didn't he?' Sam mumbled.

'You and Dad ... you were different that's all Sammy, you saw things differently to Dad and he didn't really understand it.'

'I remember lots of fighting but not what the fights were about.' Sam admitted.

'You didn't want to hunt and Dad didn't understand that, he should have wanted to hunt coz that was the way we were raised.'

'Okay.' Sam said and then drifted off in his own thoughts and memories, Dean felt the ice pack fall away and craned his neck a little to see Sam sound asleep curled up on the other side of the bed. Settling back down Dean thought about Sam's questions until he finally too let the sleep imps work their magic and fell into a dreamless deep sleep.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

CHAPTER 15

'Did you really think it was that easy?' a cruel voice shattered the illusion of a peaceful sleep, 'I gave you your mind back, but as for your memories no not just yet.'

'Get away from us.' Sam warned in a low growl standing protectively in front of Dean's still body.

'Sammy, Sammy, Sammy when will you learn you cannot possibly fight me and win.'

'And when will you learn that it's Sam not Sammy.'

'When you learn just how painful being called Sam is.' The demon laughed, 'you protest about your name so how will you feel that when anyone calls you by Sam the pain will be unbearable.'

'You're delusional Dude.' Sam spat out, hiding his own fear behind a wall of fiery anger.

'Careful Sammy, I hold your memories in my hand, I can easily crush them.'

'I can already remember the important stuff so go ahead and do your worst.'

'The foolishness of youth.' The demon sighed before he vanished leaving Sam alone in his head, the latest threat still echoing in his mind, 'you protest about your name so how will you feel that when anyone calls you by Sam the pain will be unbearable.'

Sam woke screaming in pure agony, his eyes wide and diluted, his face devoid of any colour. Terrified he stared around the room, he watched Dean slowly rousing himself from a drug induced sleep, the look of confusion written across Bobby's face as he stumbled through the door. 'Sam?' he mumbled his voice filled with the dredges of sleep. 'Sam what's wrong?'

Sam's body arched and convulsed, tears fell unaided down his face as he tried to quell his own pain and fear. He couldn't take it anymore, the pain ate at him like a cancerous tumour, shuddering and shivering Sam tried to focus on Dean's face but he saw nothing except smudges and lines. Another pain-filled scream wrenched from his body filled the early morning silence.

'What happened Bobby?' Dean asked reaching out to try and get a grip on Sam, to stop him from thrashing around and hurting himself even more.

'Dunno he woke me when he started to scream,' Bobby said distractedly watching Dean's futile efforts to calm his brother. 'Did he hurt himself?'

'No, no he was lucid when we went to bed last night,' Dean said his voice filled with his own private agony, 'he even patched me up and got me to bed.'

'Damn it Dean ... can you smell it?'

Dean stopped trying to calm Sam to stare at the older man, carefully he sniffed the air and inhaled deeply, 'sulphur.' They said in unison.

Sam stopped writhing and laid still on the bed, his eyes wide and watching never leaving Deans' face. His breathes coming in long drawn out shudders, and his tears still fell down his ashen face. Terrified of what would happen when either man said his name again Sam tried to speak but only soft puffs of empty air were expelled his voice stayed frozen in his throat.

'Sam?' Dean asked again, horrified as another fit assailed his brother's body, the convulsions lasting longer, but the ear-shattering screams were now only soft pitiful mewls of pain. 'Sammy?' Dean whispered brushing his brother's hair back from his sweaty face, 'Sammy can you hear me?'

Sam gulped in a few deep breathes and nodded his head slightly; unsure of anything else he knew that the hated childhood nickname was the only thing that would now keep him pain-free and sane.

Painfully Dean managed to pull himself up and back until his upper back and shoulders rested against the headboard of his bed, a pile of pillows stuffed between him and it protected his injuries. Sam clung to his arm refusing to let go, he stared at Dean with wide eyes, exhaustion and fear fought for domination of his facial features, but he refused to give in. fearing that as soon as he did then the demon could get at Dean.

'Fuck Bobby he was doing so well last night he remembered the most important things and even had a small childhood memory, now look at him.' Dean's anger started to roil inside of him, 'now he's practically catatonic again.'

'Dean, say Sammy again.' Bobby wrote the message down and handed it to the older brother. Dean frowned as he read it and then glared up at the elder hunter. 'Amuse me.' He said simply.

'Hey Sammy you doing okay?' Dean asked gently not wanting to startle the young man.

Sam nodded his gaze shifting from the face of Dean to Bobby's and then back again as Bobby passed Dean another note. 'Now say Sam.'

Again, Dean frowned at Bobby but did as he asked, as soon as Dean uttered the shortened version of the name, Sam started to scream and writhe in absolute agony. The attack lasting infinitely longer than the last. Exhausted and agony ridden Sam's eyes closed and he drifted off into a dreamless state, not quite asleep but not awake.

'Fuck!' Dean cussed frustrated; the demon was back true to his word. Dean did as the demon asked or rather forced him to do, and got Sam's mind back and now all bets were off again.

'I gotta get Sammy outta here for your sake Bobby.' Dean muttered trying to stand up.

'Aint gonna happen Dean,' Bobby said firmly, 'the three of us are in this together.'

'Bobby if he has infiltrated ... you're in danger man.'

'Hey when aren't I? especially around you Winchesters now suck it up and get used to it Dean you and Sam are ...' as soon as Bobby said it his face fell and realisation hit him. They turned to see Sam writhing on the bed, his body shaking with tremors as another induced form of pain attacked him.

'This is impossible.' Dean sighed wearily, 'fuck it all I'm sick of this.'

A maniacal laugh permeated the air making Dean's and Bobby's skin crawl, 'show yourself you bastard.' Bobby yelled out frustrated, 'leave these boys alone and show yourself you cowardly bastard.'

'Bobby?' Dean breathed shocked to see the normally stoic hunter, emotional and past angry.

'Dean get yourself downstairs, I'll get Sammy.' Bobby ordered snapping into complete hunter mode.

'Bobby...'

'Now Dean ... the basement now.' Bobby carefully picked the tall young man up slinging him unceremoniously over his shoulder followed Dean downstairs to his fortified basement.

Locking the reinforced door after them Bobby went and lowered Sam on to one of the portable stretcher beds against the wall, covering him with a blanket he brushed the long strands of hair from Sam's face in a fatherly gesture before turning his attention back to Dean. 'Okay son lie down on the bed over there by your brother and try to get some rest.'

'Bobby no...' Dean tried to protest but the look on Bobby's face silenced him.

'The pair of you are under a devil's trap, I got salt ringing both beds, you're safe down here.'

'What about you?'

'I'm gonna be right back, just going to lock up the house and get us some food and coffee.'

'Don't forget our drugs dude,' Dean winked at him, 'hey Bobby.'

'Yeah what is it?'

'Thanks for everything.' Dean said smothering a yawn. 'For both me and Sammy, I don't know what we would do if ...'

'Don't talk, rest, coz I do not do warm and fuzzy.' Bobby growled disappearing through the door, locking the boys into the basement before he picked up his rifle and headed upstairs.

Dean sighed and lied down on his side facing Sam, his brother's eyes open and staring but no recognition remained in them. He was worse now than when Dean first found him in the hospital so many months ago.

'I am so sorry Sammy, I can't protect you ... truth be told I guess I have never been able to protect you have I?'

'Dean?' Sammy whispered, 'my Dean?'

Bobby finished sweeping the area, leaving traps and salt lines as a precaution against any demonic visitors before he set about fixing food and drink for them. Filling four thermoses full of steaming hot black coffee, he grabbed two six packs of 'holy water' beer from the fridge and then bagged up the sandwiches and bowls of stew. It would have to do for now. The brothers had to rest and regain their strength to finish this fight.

Resolutely straightening his shoulders, Bobby turned off all of the lights, set the alarms, picked up the box of food and drinks, slung his rifle over his free shoulder and headed downstairs to wait it out with his two 'sons'.

Dean moved protectively in front of Sam when he heard the key turning in the lock, a sly grin formed on his face as he saw Bobby coming down the last few steps juggling weaponry and food. 'Christo.'

'Damn it Dean don't startle me like that.' Bobby snarled without malice at the younger man. 'Nearly dropped the beer.'

'Damn sorry Bobby.'

'So how's Sammy going?'

'Okay, he's awake ... if you can call it that.' Dean said softly. Pouring a cup of coffee he went over to Sam's bed and sat on the edge, 'want a sip?'

Sam nodded his head and tried to sip the hot strongly flavoured liquid, he managed to down some but the rest dribbled down his chin. His face fell when he saw the growing brown stain on his white T-shirt.

'Hey Dude look at me, don't worry bout it.' Dean said softly, 'now drink up and I'll see what food Bobby is gonna poison us with.'

'Hey I heard that.' Bobby announced from his lookout perch at the top of the stairs.

'Want something?' Dean called back, 'hot or cold.'

'Sandwich and a beer.' Bobby replied, 'try and give Sammy the stew it might be easier for him.'

As Dean and Bobby munched on the sandwiches, Dean tried to feed Sammy. Stubborn and angry at being treated like an infant Sam wanted to try and feed himself but his frozen body wouldn't respond, the left side of his body numb from head to toe made it virtually impossible, even for him to sit up for long periods of time was an effort.

Broken and unable to fend for himself Sam finally relented and let Dean finish feeding him, some food sliding out of the frozen side of his mouth, tears fell down his cheeks cooling the heat of his humiliation.

'Ah Sammy what's he done to you now?' Dean muffled quietly, realising that the extreme pain caused Sam's blood pressure to sky rocket precipitating the stroke. His numbed and paralysed left side and slurred words a dead giveaway.

Sam watched his brother carefully, seeing the realisation hit him, trapped in his paralysed body Sam was alert and intact, unable to articulate the fact his frustration levels rose. 'Dean.' He sighed, 'I'm fine.' He placed his good hand on top of Dean's and gave him an odd looking but warm smile. 'Still me in here.'

'I know Sammy, I know so how about one more airplane coming into land?' Dean grinned teasing his brother with one more spoonful of food. Grimacing Sam swallowed the last of the stew and pointed to the cup of coffee. 'I – I can.'

Wrapping Sam's good hand around the cup, Dean stayed close by and watched him carefully sip the drink, keeping the lip of the cup away from the numb side of his mouth. 'G-good.'

'That's my boy.' Dean smiled and patted Sam's arm, standing slowly he tried to walk over to his own bed, when the pain flared in his lower back pressing on the nerves, his legs turned to jelly and no longer held his weight.

'Dean.' Sam cried out as loud as he could, trying to get his unyielding body to work enough to get his brother he let out a grunt of frustration when he toppled sideways.

'Sam no.' Dean muttered horrified when he saw Sam start to convulse, 'nooo Sammy.'

Bobby raced down from his post and took in the scene in his stride, easily he helped Dean up onto his own bed and then he rushed to check on Sam. this time the attack was mercifully quick and left Sam breathless but still conscious.

'Dammit Bobby it's totally, freaking fucked.' Dean screamed aggravated to the point of incoherency.

'Dean?' Sam's soft call cut through Dean's temper tantrum and he turned his darkened green eyes towards his younger brother, pushing the anger away with just one glance at the pitiful look on Sam's face.

'Ah damn it Sammy it's not fair ... why you? Why is it always you?'

'Dean ... don' ... I'm ...fine.' Sam slurred out, deliberately pushing himself up with his good arm he pulled his numb one to his chest and then carefully swung his dead leg and good leg over the edge of the bed. 'See ... fine.'

'Sammy ...'

'No ... Dean ... I'm ... fine.'

'We're both fine Sammy,' Dean relented when he saw the effort it took Sam just to sit up for him, 'we're both gonna be fine.'

'Yep.' Sam grinned lopsidedly and then glanced up at Bobby, 'all ... of ... us ... gonna ... be.'

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

Author's Note: Sorry it is a bit short but after a fair bit of writing today my shoulder is killing me so more very very soon.

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CHAPTER 16

'So how long do you think we can hide out down here Bobby?' Dean asked as he watched Sam sleep fitfully, mumbling incoherently in his sleep.

'Not too much longer, foods gonna run out soon.' Bobby muttered, 'what do you want to do about it?'

'Do we have enough to see us through the next couple of days?'

'Yeah I guess why what you got in mind?'

'My back is starting to go down ... nope Bobby it is I can feel it, kinda freer to move about.' Dean said showing Bobby his back eagerly.

'Damn boy, I dunno what you're doing but it sure is healing fast.' Bobby breathed, 'you sure you aint got any hidden abilities?'

'Very funny Bobby,' Dean said with a sly grin, 'so now we try and get Sam...my fit enough to travel.'

'Okay, so I'll go and get some more supplies and you work with Sammy.'

'Bobby I ...'

'No arguing Dean, we need supplies and Sammy needs help.' Bobby said firmly but kindly, 'and anyway don't think you'll be catching up to me anytime soon.'

'I'll remember that old man.'

'Yeah, yeah go and see to your brother.' Bobby said as he made his way up the stairs, 'and remember don't let anyone else in except me after I give the word.'

'Yes Sir.' Dean gave him a mock salute, 'very good Sir!'

'Dean?' Sam's voice broke into the light ribaldry.

'Here buddy, you feel like doing some work?'

'Work?'

'Yeah we gotta get you up and moving dude, you're too big to be lying around anyways.'

'Owkay,' Sam said as he slowly pulled himself up to sit on the edge his legs dangling.

'Now Sammy I'm gonna put my arm around your waist and your numb arm around my shoulders okay?'

'Yep.'

Moving slowly so he didn't aggravate either of their injuries Dean slipped under Sam's arm and hooking his fingers into Sam's waistband helped his brother to stand on unsteady feet. 'Good, good okay Sammy just put your weight onto your good leg, that's it now walking with me just bring your other leg up.'

After two steps, Sam started to show some slight improvement shocking both of them. 'This is great Sammy; it may not be as bad as we thought.'

'N-no stroke.' Sam pushed out the words, 'he did some-something to me.' he stared at Dean triumphantly. 'Keep m-moving.'

'You sure?'

'Yep.' Sam nodded his head and pushed another step forward, 'ahhh.' He cried out clutching his leg with his good hand.

'What Sammy? What is it?' Dean cried out in horror he was doing so well, but then he saw the smile in Sam's eyes. 'Dude?'

'I – I got ... feeling ... Dean I got feeling ... pins-n-needles.' Sam grinned letting Dean help him back to the bed, 'n-no stroke.'

'No dude no stroke, just don't scare me like that again,' Dean felt the weight slide from his neck, finding himself matching Sam's grin. 'Ah but that doesn't mean any slacking off, gotta get you up and about Sammy we need all of us to be in top condition.'

'Dean?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'Thanks.'

'For what?'

'N-nothing.' Sam sighed yawning, 'just thanks.'

'Okay Sammy, nap time.'

'Not kid Dean.' Sam pouted sleepily.

'Humour me okay Sammy.' Dean said giving his brother a small push, 'we need you well again.'

'Owkay,' Sam said as he closed his eyes, 'Dean?"

'Yeah Sammy?'

'You gonna be here when I wake up?'

* * *

Bobby watched the car behind him with renewed interest, he had driven slowly for the past thirty minutes, and the car still persistently behind him, pulling out his mobile Bobby hit the speed dial and slowed the car down even further. 'Hey Dean.'

'Bobby where are you?' Dean's demanding voice bounced into Bobby's ear.

'Damn boy you don't have to yell.' Bobby scolded him, 'listen I think I got a tail.'

'what do you mean a tail Bobby?'

'Just that someone is following me, now dunno if it's friend or foe I'm thinking foe so just wanted to give the heads up.'

'What are you going to do Bobby?'

'Just a game of tag, I'll ring when I'm heading home.' Bobby said cutting the call off before Dean could ask anymore questions or argue with him about Bobby's fledgling plan.

Easing into the traffic Bobby put his foot down on the accelerator and started to lane hope weaving in and out of the cars and trucks in front of him. Suddenly running a light he turned right and watched his rear vision mirror the car was still with him, 'well that tears it he's following.' Bobby muttered pushing his foot down harder until he drove well and truly over the speed limit, taking the person following him in the opposite direction to where the boys are.

'Damn, damn, damn,' Bobby's fist hit the steering wheel when suddenly the car roared up next to him and tried to nudge him off the road. Skidding on the loose gravel Bobby tried to right his truck but the momentum took him into the path of an oncoming car. With no where to go Bobby pushed the speed to avoid the car but drove head-on into a tree.

* * *

Sam sat up breathing hard, staring around wildly he relaxed slightly when he saw Dean sitting by the steps reading a magazine.

'Sammy you okay?' Dean called out but Sam didn't react to the question, instead he tried to control his heartbeat and breathing.

'Sammy?' Dean asked again getting up he limped towards his panicked brother, 'what is it?'

'Bobby?'

'Not back yet ... why?'

'Danger, Bobby's in danger.' Sam ground out pushing against Dean, 'we have to go.'

'Sam...' Dean cursed as he watched Sam react to the name, falling backwards onto the bed he writhed in agony, sweat beading along his forehead mingled with his tears as he fought to stay conscious.

Blood dripped from his nose and ears as the bomb of pain detonated in his head. Screaming clutched at Dean and tried to push through it, to ride out the pain, but it became too much and as his eyes rolled backwards Sam lost his fight. Struggling to help his brother, Dean jumped with his mobile rang shrilly, 'Bobby this better be you.' He snarled viciously as he tried to make Sam comfortable.

'Who is this?' a stranger's voice demanded on the other end of the phone.

'Who are you and why are you on Bobby's phone?' Dean retorted angrily.

'This is Patrick West; I'm a paramedic I found the phone clutched in the victim's hand your number was on the screen.'

'I'm sorry did you say a paramedic?'

'Yes, the driver is about to be taken to St Angela's hospital, a single car accident he drove into a tree.'

'Damn Bobby.'

'Are you a relative?'

'Yeah I'm his foster-son.' It slipped out so easily that Dean stunned himself, sitting down he rubbed his hand across his face. 'How, how is he?'

'He is lucky it could have easily been a fatality.' The paramedic said tersely, 'did you want to meet us at the hospital?'

'Yeah, yeah I'll get organised and meet you there, St Angela's you said?'

'Yes Sir that's right and your name is?'

'Dean, Dean Singer.'

'Thanks Dean I'll pass the information on.'

Dean hung up and looked down at Sammy as he slowly started to regain consciousness, 'hey Sammy.'

'What, what's wrong Dean?' Sam asked immediately awake, panic written on his face.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

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**Author's Note: My most heartfelt apologies to those of you who took the time to review and I didn't get a chance to respond in person, I had a real life emergency this week and got side-tracked big time, so a big hug and apology to all of you!!!**

**(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))**

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CHAPTER 17

Sam sat stiffly in the passenger seat as Dean drove as carefully as he could towards the hospital. Every few minutes he risked a glance at his brother. Still pale and wincing with every jolt of the car but remained stoic and alert.

'Sammy how did you know about Bobby?'

'I – I'm not sure, it was not a vision but not a dream...'

'Okay, we're nearly there ... you okay?'

'Fine ... I'm sore but fine Dean please don't worry 'bout me.'

'Sammy ... okay but you tell me if you need some pain relief or anything okay?'

They drove the rest of the way to the hospital in a comfortable silence with Dean keeping a surreptitious eye on Sam. Finding a car park just near the main doors Dean ran around the impala and was there at the passenger's door to help Sam out, 'how do you want to do this Sammy?' He asked wanting to take his cues of Sam to ease his little brother back into some sort of normality.

'I argh, I dunno Dean,' sweat beads decorated Sam's forehead and upper lip as he tried to put weight on his previously numb leg.

'Wait here.' Dean directed Sam as he ran into the hospital and reappeared mere minutes later with a wheelchair, 'your chariot awaits Sir.'

'Dean I'm not...'

'That or you stay in the car with the windows up and the doors locked.' Dean threatened cocking his eye brow at his brother openly daring Sam to defy him.

'Well you just gonna stand there or you gonna help me?' Sam asked heaving a sigh knowing that when Dean looked like that there was no use arguing with him.

'That's my boy.' Dean grinned helping his partially paralysed brother into the chair.

When they entered the hospital two very worried looking young nurses raced to Sam's aid, with a blush and shy smile Sam politely let them know that he was fine and that they were there to see their foster-father. Dean grinned and managed to get their phone numbers for future reference, never know when he and Sam needed personal medical attention. The two girls went back to the nurses station giggling and glancing back at the extremely good looking brothers.

'Wait here Sammy.' Dean said patting Sam's shoulder while he went to find out about Bobby; moments later, he came back with a grim look on his face. 'He's still in surgery.'

'Dean if Bobby...'

'Don't Sammy, please don't say it, Bobby knew the risks when he went out to get food he did everything he could to protect us.'

'yeah but...'

'No buts Sammy, now we just have to wait do you want anything a coffee or something to eat?'

'Coffee?'

'No probs I'll just park you over here away from the door and be right back, the machine is just down the hall.'

'I'll be fine Dean.' Sam gave his brother a tremulous smile in reassurance before returning his attention to the book he had clasped in his hands tightly. 'I'll just read until you come back.'

'Okay, but Dude you need me...'

'I'll yell now go already.' Sam opened his book and determinedly pulled his gaze away from Dean. Sighing dramatically, Dean headed down the hallway to get two coffees from the machine and grabbed sandwiches while he was there. Deciding that Sam really needed to eat something as well.

As he rounded the corner of the waiting lounge, he saw Sam arguing heatedly with an older man. His brother's face red with anger and frustration showed pinched lines of pain as well. The older man stood over Sam waving fists at him and seemed determined not to give in anytime soon.

'What the fuck are you doing to my brother?' Dean demanded putting the food and hot drinks on the side table and grabbing the man's arm.

'He's taking up the wheelchair; a strapping young man like that doesn't need a wheelchair he can sit like the rest of us on the seats.'

'Dude chill it's just a wheelchair I'm sure that the hospital has plenty.'

'Aint right, younguns like this should be up and about.' The man grabbed Sam's arm and tried to drag him out of the chair, his anger blinding him to the obvious pain he was causing Sam.

'Look Mister I asked you nicely and now I'm telling you, leave my brother alone.' Dean hissed pushing the man away from Sam and placing himself between them.

'Get outta that chair you young wimp, stop hiding behind your brother and be a man.'

'What is your problem Dude?' Dean demanded, 'Sammy can have that wheelchair or anyone he freaking well wants and aint nothing you can do about it.'

'Dean, please it's alright I'll sit on the couch.' Sam's soft voice came from behind; spinning around Dean managed to catch Sam just as he started to topple forward.

'Told ya the kid don't need that chair.' The old man crowed as he saw Sam get up, 'nothing but a spoiled brat.'

'That tears it,' Dean snarled he gently pushed Sam back into the chair and span around with his fist ready to swing.

'What's going on here?' A gruff voice bellowed startling all of them.

'This manic started abusing my brother,' Dean snapped refusing to take his eyes off the man, his fist still ready to strike.

'Mister Randal leave these boys alone.' The security guard intervened, 'I think you had better go on home Sir.'

'Aint right, younguns like that foxing look at him, big and strong aint nothing wrong with him.' The older man spat out his spittle spraying over the security guard's chest.

'Okay Mister Randal come on, time for you to go.' The guard took the old man's arm and dragged him away from the Winchester brothers, 'I'll be back in a moment.' He said over his shoulder.

Finally relaxing when the guard and the old man disappeared outside Dean crouched down in front of Sam checking his brother carefully. 'What happened Sammy?'

'I dunno really, I was reading and he just started ranting at me.' Sam said sadly staring down the way the old man was taken, 'he was so angry and so sad.'

'Dude, you did nothing wrong and you have nothing to be ashamed of, he doesn't know you or what happened to you.' Dean said cupping Sam's neck in his hand he made his brother meet his steady gaze, 'don't you dare feel guilty about being hurt and in pain.'

'Excuse me,' the guard cleared his throat clearly not wanting to disturb the young men any further, 'Mister Randal won't be bothering you anymore.'

'Thanks, why ... why was he so angry when he saw me?'

The guard sighed as he saw the obvious distress Sam was in and the anger bubbling still under Dean's skin. The kid could barely contain himself. 'I'm not going to have to have you leave to am I?' he asked staring at Dean.

'No Sir.' Dean's sullen reply came.

'Good, now can I have your names please and why you're here?'

'Dean and Sammy Singer, our foster-father was in a car accident, he's still in surgery.' Dean explained without hesitation.

'Ah yeah I saw him when they brought him in, I am sorry guys,' the guard's hard features softened as he looked at the brothers, 'the last thing you needed was old Mister Randal.'

'What is his problem?'

'His son Mark was a great high school footballer, he got a full ride to Notre Dame, when he ... a bad tackle broke his back. His father went into denial and refused to believe that Mark wasn't going to walk let alone play football again. He did everything he could think of to get Mark out of the wheelchair, completely lost it and beat the boy senseless, accusing him of being lazy and foxing his injuries to shame the family.'

'Wow that's awful,' Sam said his empathy shining brightly around him like an aura, 'what happened to his son?'

'Not long after he got out of hospital, he was found in the middle of the school football field ... shot himself ... his father completely lost it, now he seems to hang around here waiting for his son to be released and well every so often he goes at young people in wheelchairs.' The guard stopped speaking and looked pointedly at Sam, 'I am sorry young man.'

'That's okay,' Sam replied quietly, 'I'm only borrowing the chair here, I've ah got ah...'

'The doctors said that he's sustained nerve damage, his left side is paralysed but thankfully it is only temporary the doc said he should eventually get full use back.' Dean finished for Sam placing a protective hand on his brother's shoulder. 'We thought it was a stroke at first but thankfully...'

'Don't worry about old Mister Randal kid,' the guard looked down at Sam, 'you just concentrate on getting well enough to get outta that chair.'

'Yes Sir,' Sam managed a small smile but it quickly faded replaced by a pain-filled scowl.

'Son are you alright?'

'Sammy what is it?' Dean asked crouching back down to Sam's eye level.

'Hurts Dean, hurts so bad.' Sam whispered clutching at Dean with his good hand he rode out the pain, panting with exhaustion when it finally passed.

'Want me to get the doctor?' the guard asked worriedly.

'No, no thanks.' Sam replied quickly, 'Dean's got my pain meds, thanks for everything though.'

'No probs at all, you two need anything just give me a yell. The name's Nathan Washburn.'

'Thanks Mister Washburn,' Sam said respectively holding out a shaking hand.

Nathan took it and squeezed it gently, 'pleasure Sammy and the name is Nathan okay.'

Sam nodded and rested his head against the back of the chair as Dean thanked the security guard known as Nathan.

'Hey Sammy you still with me?' Dean asked softly when the guard finally left.

'Yeah.' Sam sighed opening his eyes and squinting up at Dean, 'I'm good.'

'Got your pain meds here with your coffee.' Dean pressed the pills into Sam's hand and held the cup for him to sip the fast cooling coffee.

'Thanks.' Sam said as he sat back in the wheelchair and tried to get comfortable, 'I feel so sorry for that old man and his son.'

'Dude he abused his kid to the point of causing him to suicide. I wouldn't be surprised that the kid is getting a bit of his own back.'

'You think a haunting?'

'Don't Sammy, don't even go there, we got one thing to deal with and that's more than enough.' Dean warned him trying to keep his rising anger out of his voice.

'Family for Robert Singer?' A doctor called out breaking into the boy's fledgling argument.

'Here,' Dean answered pushing Sam closer to the doctor, 'I'm Dean and this is my brother Sammy, we're Bobby's foster-sons.'

'Doctor Whitfield, now Mister Singer is out of surgery and is in recovery the operation went well and we are expecting a full recovery.'

'What, what were his injuries?' Sam asked fearful for their lifelong friend and unofficially adopted father.

'No one as spoken to you yet?' the doctor asked frowning.

'Nope nada, doc so if you can enlighten us it would be great.' Dean said putting his hand back on Sam's shoulder, knowing that both of them needed the physical connection.

'Your foster-father crashed head on into a tree; from all accounts he swerved deliberately to miss an oncoming car.' The doctor paused for a second to let his words sink in, 'he sustained a severe concussion, two broken ribs, a dislocated hip, and two breaks in his right leg. They had to operate on his leg and had to place screws in the bone to hold it together. He's heavily sedated for the pain and will be in the CCU for the next twenty-four hours, if all goes well then he will be downgraded to the general surgical ward after that.'

'Why CCU doc?' Dean asked, his fingers digging into Sam's shoulder though neither of them noticed.

'While his surgery went well, he did have some complications...'

'What do you mean by that?' Dean demanded frustrated by the doctor's seemingly cavalier attitude.

'He did go into cardiac arrest during the procedure. The surgical team worked quickly and had him back in normal rhythm without further complications.'

'Cardiac arrest?' Sam whispered his face paling to a sickly creamy colour. 'Is – is he alright now?'

'He will be on a heart monitor for the next twenty-four hours as well as medication and broad-spectrum antibiotics through his IV. His prognosis is looking good boys, you have to understand that.'

'Thanks doc,' Dean murmured, 'when can we see him?'

'After he is settled in CCU I will send his nurse for you, are there any other family members who should be contacted?'

'No, no just us.' Dean said his voice cracking with pent up emotions.

An hour later an officious looking nurse came for the brothers and guided them up to the CCU and into Bobby's room, after cautioning them not to stay very long and to make sure that he remains calm at all times she left the three hunters alone.

Dean wheeled Sam's wheelchair as close as possible to the bed before going around to the other side not wanting to disturb any of the tubes, leads and other medical paraphernalia attached to Bobby.

'Hey Bobby we're here for ya.' He whispered bending down closer to Bobby's ear, 'Sammy and I are here for ya.'

'Dean?' Bobby blinked and tried to focus on the older brother, 'what the hell you doin' here?'

'Good to see you too Bobby,' Dean grinned, 'we had to come Bobby, so don't argue, you're our foster-father after all.'

'Oh okay, so as your father I'm ordering you to take your brother home and get back in that protected area.' Bobby whispered angrily.

'Hey old man, you're not allowed to get upset, you have to remain calm.'

'Calm be damned, want me calm? Then the two of you get back to safety and I don't have to worry bout the pair of ya.'

'Damn Bobby you scared us.' Dean glanced over at Sam and noticed the glassy shine to Sam's eyes, 'Sammy hey dude you with us?'

'Huh?' Sam blinked and squinted at Dean and Bobby, 'oh just tired that's all.'

'That tears it, you git home the pair of ya.' Bobby ordered, 'or I'll get outta this bed and kick ya buts back there myself.'

'Okay we're going, but you have them call us for anything Bobby I mean it, damn it Bobby he's nobbled all three of us now.'

'Not for long son, not for long,' Bobby slurred as his eyelids grew heavier, 'just gonna nap now.'

'We're outta here, take care old man.' Dean patted Bobby's arm affectionately, 'ready Sammy?'

'Yeah, take care Bobby please.' Sam whispered squeezing Bobby's hand with his good one before letting Dean wheel him out of the small CCU room.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

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CHAPTER 18

Dean finished helping Sam into the impala before running the borrowed wheelchair into the hospital with a brief thought of keeping it on a longer borrow, but after seeing Sam's reaction to staying in it he changed his mind and ran it back, leaving it just inside the sliding doors.

As he hurried back to the car Dean stopped and stared around, his brows bunching in worry, he felt as though someone or something was watching them, he stopped and turned slowly taking in everyone, everything and all else that didn't fall into those two categories. As he turned back to the car, he saw Sam slump sideways in the seat, cussing under his breath Dean ran to the driver's side and wrenched the door open. 'Sammy?' He cried.

'Dean, take me home please.' Sam begged him, his words slurring slightly, 'no ... protection here.' He tried to push more words out but his throat froze, blocking his voice. He stared miserably up at his brother, his sea-green eyes dark and dull from the pain.

Cursing louder Dean put the car into reverse and then roared out of the hospital carpark every few seconds taking a glance over at Sam as he wove through the traffic.

'Hang in there Sammy.' He kept repeating in a litany to himself more than to Sam.

Semi-aware of his surroundings Sam kept his gaze fixed on the one constant in his life, his brother Dean. Even in his sluggish thoughts, Sam knew that Dean would make sure that he was going to be alright. His right side now completely numb made it hard for him to assess where the new pain was coming from. A lone tear escaped from his eye and trickled down his face in a lonely trip to oblivion.

Reaching Bobby's small house Dean made sure that there were no traps or uninvited guests before he helped Sam out of the car. Bracing himself on Sam's right side he took on the functions of that side and with an arm firmly anchored in Sam's belt and the other, grasping his numb wrist he managed to help his brother downstairs back to the protection of the devil's trap in Bobby's basement.

Easing his exhausted sibling onto the bed, Dean tenderly lifted the numbed leg and stretched it out careful not knock it or cause any injury where Sam couldn't feel it.

Propping him up with pillows he fussed around Sam making sure that he was comfortable before running upstairs to do another recon of the house, lock the car, and then grab the supplies before locking them in for the night.

'So Sammy, whatcha feel like soup or soup?' he called trying to sound cheerful, when he didn't hear a sound he turned to face his bedridden brother. Sam slept snuggled down under the blankets, his face pale against the blue pillowslips but he looked pain free and almost relaxed.

Sighing deeply Dean made himself some soup leaving a bowl to be reheated for Sam and then settled in front of the laptop determined to check up on that crazy old dude who had upset Sam so much.

His eyes widened and he felt nauseous as Dean read the details of the death of Mark Randal. His father hadn't just cut loose on the boy; he was the one who put him in the wheelchair permanently. Seems that he did manage to walk using aids and braces on his back and legs. But after only a day after rehab his father refused to believe that one day Mark may have walked unaided wearing his specially designed braces. He declared that his son didn't need the braces and forced his son out of the chair to walk without his aids and braces. Mark collapsed immediately; his father lost his temper and kicked his son viciously in the back until he caused irreparable damage to the initial spinal injury. Mark spent a week in a medically induced coma while the swelling on his spine went down. Finally released from hospital his father managed to breach the intervention order and tried to force him to walk again, accusing him of being lazy and of foxing his injuries just to defy him. His anger building against the old man Dean brought up the reports on Mark's death, his frown deepening when he saw that there were suspicious circumstances around Mark's apparent suicide, the coroner handing down an open finding at the inquest. 'Fucking bastard!' Dean ground out angrily.

'Dean?' Sam whispered from the bed startling Dean out of his reverie.

'Hey sleepyhead, you feeling better?'

'Yeah I can talk again,' Sam tried a grin but it looked more like a grimace, 'Dean I got pins and needles in my arm and leg.'

'Dude, that's great.' Dean enthused as he hurried over to Sam's bedside, 'the doc said that would be the first sign of getting your healing and getting the use of your arm and leg again.'

'Yeah but tell ya something Dean it fucking hurts.' Sam ground out.

'So want something to eat?' Dean asked not wanting to push Sam too far but with the onset of pins and needles maybe, just maybe the rest of his problems will ease.

'Actually ... I'm starving dude, what we got?'

'Ah soup, for starters, soup for mains and oh let's see soup for desert.' Dean quipped hurrying over to warm the soup up for his brother. 'Your pain meds and a bottle of water next to the bed they had better be gone by the time I come back with the soup.'

'Yes Mum.' Sam sighed reaching over for the two white tablets and water, actually feeling relieved that Dean had thought of them, along with the tingling he had an aching all encompassing pain pounding through him from head to toes.

'What were you researching?' he asked noticing that the laptop was still on.

'Nothing much, just adding to your porn collection, for you know when you feel better.' Dean smirked as he carried the bowl of soup and bread carefully back to the bed.

Sam scowled up at him, his gaze flickering over to his laptop and back to Dean, 'you know even though I don't remember everything I do know that you were the one with the porn collection, not me.'

'Whatever gets you through the night Sammy, now eat up before it gets cold.'

The brothers sat in quiet companionship, neither needing to talk just enjoying each other's company. Sam finished the bowl of soup by running his last slice of bread around the bowl to catch the last drops, smacking his lips he passed the empty bowl back to Dean and eased himself down onto the pillows, not bothering to smother a huge yawn.

'You feeling okay Sammy?' Dean asked a small nerve jumped under his eye as his regarded his brother closely.

'I'm fine Dean honestly,' Sam smiled and yawned again, 'just so damned tired.'

'Well dude you know that what means.'

'But I don't feel like sleeping,' Sam whined, 'I wanna do something.'

'What?'

'Play a game? Anything?' Sam said, not wanting to add that he was terrified to go back to sleep. The voice was back with a vengeance and kept Sam from sleeping properly. The way it said, _'I took your memory I can take you whenever I want.'_ Replayed repeatedly in his mind, the mocking laughter and the images of a slain Dean flashed in the background, like some grotesque slide show.

A loud explosion outside the house made both brothers jump startled, 'Dean?' Sam whispered his face paling in seconds, 'it's here.'

'Calm down Sammy, it might be nothing.'

'Uhhuh.' Sam sighed unconvinced, when he started to choke. 'Dean?'

Thick black smoke started to fill the small basement, 'fuck they're trying to smoke us out.' Dean mumbled gasping for breath he quickly ripped the arms of his shirt off wrapping one around his own mouth and nose he hurried over to Sam and did the same with him. 'Stay low.' He bellowed as he helped Sam up and over to the stairs, his glock fixed firmly in one hand. 'Keep hold of my shirt Sammy.'

Sam clung to his older brother and tried to get his stiff and immobile body working enough to move without aid. His lungs were bursting starved of fresh oxygen and his eyes watered constantly.

'Ready?' Dean yelled turning to face his struggling brother.

Sam nodded and focused his concentration on staying with Dean. They burst through the door and moved stealthily through the kitchen to the back door. Just as he put his hand on handle, Dean heard the ever so familiar sound of gunfire, he span around to move Sam out of the way when he looked down at his own body. A crimson stain started to form low on his side, a spreading fire coursed through his body, igniting his nerve endings. Lifting his shock-filled eyes up to Sam as his knees startled to buckle and he fell forward crashing into his terrified brother.

'Dean?' Sam cried out hoarsely.

'See told ya that ya didn't need that wheelchair, you fucking little shit, so typical preferring to play fox then to get up and move.' A cruel voice taunted Sam, looking up Sam faced the shooter, staring into a pair of eyes filled with maniacal lust. 'Just like Mark, weak and useless. Can't do a fucking thing to help ya self.'

Sam covered Dean with his body when he saw the gun being lifted to aim at his heart, bracing himself for the end of his life at the hands of a madman.

'Nah I aint shootin' ya, that's too fast, I wanna see you get up and move, I wanna see you moving and hurting. Mark was weak and I had to put him outta his misery ... so I wanna see what you can do.' Randal pushed the gun into Sam, 'get up now.'

'Dean, he needs help.' Sam said trying to move attention away from himself to talk Randal out of doing something bad. 'We have to get an ambulance for him.'

'Get up afore I decide to send ya brother to his maker now rather than later.' Randal threatened moving the gun slightly aiming at Dean's exposed temple.

'Okay, please don't hurt him anymore.' Sam begged as he slowly and unsteadily climbed to his feet. His numb leg refusing to come to life again and threatened to crash him to the floor again.

'Get going.' Randal ordered, 'now.' He shoved the gun into Sam's spine and pushed him towards the door. As Sam stumbled he felt a vice-like grip on his arm and a resounding blow across the back of his head, 'fall again and I will shoot ya now move.'

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

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Author's Note: I am going to make an effort to try and use a few more Americanisms to avoid confusion  But you'll have to be patient coz I get a little muddled at times and might slip up!! LOL

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SPECIAL NOTE: A huge thanks to H T Marie for her advice on how to get around FF probs, and to Carikube for putting me onto it...thanks guys you have stopped my headaches! lol

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CHAPTER 19

Dean groaned and slitted his eyes open, everything was side on making him feel nauseous, his hand glided down his side to the bullet hole, swallowing hard he reached around to probe for an exit wound. The bullet passed straight through and Dean was pretty sure that it didn't hit anything major, well except for his body. 'Which is pretty fucking major.' The thought rang in his mind as he managed to push himself slowly upwards to a sitting position against the kitchen wall. 'Sammy?' He called out, wincing at the rawness of his own voice, his throat ached from the acrid smoke, and his eyes stung enough for more unbidden tears to flow. 'Sammy?' he called again this time forcing his voice out a bit more.

The house remained silent, wind whistled through clearing the smoke, thankfully it was only smoke. 'Fucking smoke bombs, fucking crazy old men, fucking bullet holes.' Dean growled angry with himself for falling for such a simple trick. Biting down on the rising nausea Dean pushed himself up on the wall and braced himself until the vertigo passed and he was able to stand upright. Lurching towards the door, Dean stood squinting into the bright sun and gulped in glorious fresh air. 'Sammy?' he called again, a shiver running down his spine when he saw patches of blood leading away from the house. 'Sammy?' he whispered as the shock started to set in and he crumpled bonelessly to the ground.

'Bobby ... you here?' a familiar voice brought Dean's attention back to the present, 'where are you old man?'

'Damn, out here.' Dean tried to call but all he could manage was a loud whisper, angry he felt around until his hand felt a rock, hefting it up he managed to throw it awkwardly but it hit its target and shattered the backdoor window. 'sorry Bobby.' He muttered.

'Hey what the fuck is going on?' the voice rumbled gaining in volume as the person came closer.

'Here!' Dean called again, pushing himself up onto his hands and knees he weakly tried to stand; instead, he had to be content with sitting against the outside wall of Bobby's house.

'What the ... Dean?' Caleb shouted as he ran the last few feet to Dean and knelt next to the younger man, 'what the fuck is going on Dean? Where's Bobby and Sam?'

'Owkay, first shit man I'm shot, second Bobby was ... in an ... accident and lastly the bastard who got me took Sam.' Dean started to giggle, 'that bout sums it up Caleb sounds like ... just a normal ... day huh?'

'We gotta get you to hospital.' Caleb said moving to help Dean up when the young hunter pulled away shaking his head no violently.

'Can't ... gotta find ... Sammy.'

'Dean you got a bullet in you.'

'Nope ... passed right through.' Dean said through gritted teeth, his face covered in a sheen of perspiration. 'just need to be sewn up.'

Caleb opened his mouth to argue when he saw the set look of determination in Dean's eyes and he shook his head, 'stupid stubborn son of a Winchester.' He muttered as he helped Dean back into the house, trying to avoid the puddle of blood on the kitchen floor. Easing his young friend down, Caleb ran to get Bobby's first aide kit, thankful that he knew Bobby well enough and had patched each other up enough to know exactly where everything was. 'You still with me Dean?' he called out while he gathered what he needed.

'Yo.' Was the only answer but at least it was something.

'Drink this you're gonna need it.' Caleb shoved a bottle of whiskey in Dean's hand and then he started to cut away Dean's shirt. 'Damn Kid you should be in hospital.'

'Just do it Caleb ... please.' Dean begged choking slightly on the scalding liquid. Chewing his lower lip Caleb used the whiskey to clean the two wounds, entry and exit, 'dang you were lucky Dean looks like it just passed through the muscle and didn't hit anything.' He muttered dropping the soiled cotton wool into a bag he took a good look at the bullet wound, 'nice and clean too, you're gonna be fine.'

'Lucky ... bastard ... bad ... shot.' Dean ground out wincing as Caleb started to probe the entry wound. 'Yeah okay you wanna bite on this while I sew?' Caleb offered Dean a wooden stake, 'got no real anaesthetic for ya.'

'Just do it.' Dean mumbled swigging another mouthful of the whiskey. Finally, Caleb sat back and wiped his bloody hands on a towel, covering both wounds with gauze squares and taping them down he wrapped a thick bandage around Dean's torso making sure that both of the wounds are covered with it. 'There you go dude, and if I may say so a pretty damn fine job.' Caleb grinned and helped Dean sit back against the large chair a pillow propping him enough to take the pressure off his wound.

'Thanks man, dunno what...' Dean murmured his apology squinting at Caleb, 'ah owkay do I have to do two apologies coz there's two of you?' he asked giggling lightly.

'Nah one's enough.' Caleb replied as he cleaned up the mess he created, 'so Dean wanna tell me what's been going on? What happened to Bobby and Sammy?'

'Short version, ya know when Sammy went missing? Yeah well, he lost his memory for ages, but it seems that it was coz of this sucker of a demon. Anyhoo make a looong story even looonnnngerrrrrrrrr ... Bobby was helping us when he got forced off the road and crashed into a tree.' Dean took a deep breath, swallowed on the rising ooze in his throat and stared blearily at Caleb. 'He's got a broken leg an' hip I think.' A small giggle erupted from Dean as the shock started to take a proper hold, 'we, we went to see Bobby an' Sammy he had to stay in a chair ... wheels... wheelchair coz of his numb side, this mean ol' geezer came up and started 'busing Sammy. Seems that he killed his own kid after he ended up in a ... chairwheel ... wheelchair. We got back 'here an' the old bastard used a smoke bomb to get us. Shot me and took Sammy.' Dean's voice started to waiver and fade along with his energy. 'Gotta find him Caleb, Sammy's not well, he's ... I can't lose him Caleb, I can't lose my Sammy.' Dean fisted his hands in Caleb's shirt and pulled him closer, 'he's all I got Caleb I gotta find 'im.'

'We'll find him Dean I promise but you need some rest first.' Caleb said as he managed to extricate Dean's fingers from his shirt, 'you rest while I clean up and have a look around.'

'Careful Cal ... demon round too.' Dean mumbled as he gave into the pain and the effects of the whiskey, slipping into blissful oblivion. Caleb ran his fingers through his hair and stared around the house of his fellow hunter, when he decided to see if Bobby could help with the research on his latest hunt Caleb thought that it would be a few days of quiet research, drinking, arguing, and drinking with his old friend. This was the last thing he expected. With his gun drawn and cocked Caleb did a recon around the house, checking every window and door as he went, carefully avoiding the salt lines as he went through the place. When he was finally satisfied with inside, he checked on Dean before heading into the junk yard surrounding the place. His breath catching in his throat when he came across the patches of blood leading away from the rear of the building. 'damn Sam where are you?' he muttered, the youngest son of John Winchester was like the younger brother he never had and Caleb felt his absence keenly. He liked both brothers but while Dean is more a best friend, Sam is his younger brother, one to tease, boss around and admire secretly, although he would never admit it to Dean. The Winchester brothers existed for each other, familial ties that no one on earth could break, no matter how hard they tried. With a heavy heart, Caleb crept back into the house, determined to watch over his friend so that they could go and search for the younger brother, real or wished for it didn't matter.

As the sun finally started to disappear below the horizon Dean started to stir, he blinked furiously trying to focus on the face swimming in front of him, 'Sammy?'

'Nah as if you could be so unlucky and have him here without me.' Caleb quipped passing a cup of steaming coffee to Dean, 'drink up, you're gonna need it.'

'Sammy?' Dean croaked sipping the hot drink carefully. 'What?'

'Just a drop to help build up your strength.' Caleb grinned, 'just a dash of brandy.'

'Cal ... is there ... was there ... signs of him?' Dean asked not really wanting to know the answer.

'Nope not really, just ...'

'Just what Cal?'

* * *

Sam laid flat on his back watching the maniacal old man shuffling around him, muttering to himself. 'Please let me go, I have to go and help my brother.' Sam tried to reason with his captor but answered only with stony silence. 'Please Sir, I won't tell anyone...' 

The man turned glittering angry eyes to Sam as he launched himself at the hapless young man, bound tightly and unable to defend himself. 'You ready yet to show me whatcha got boy?'

'I-I can't do what you want.' Sam cried out realising that there was no reasoning with Randal. 'My leg and arm are still numb, I get pins and needles and some feeling occasionally but it's gonna take a long time.'

'Excuses, just like Mark, he had weak and pathetic excuses as well.'

'They are not excuses, they're facts Mister Randal.'

Stunned Sam blinked up at the man after a sharp slap left a stinging red mark on his cheek and jaw. 'You dare contradict me boy?' Randal hissed, leaning closer towards Sam's face, 'get up.'

'I can't.'

'Get up!' Another punch snapped Sam's head to the side, blood dribbling down from the corner of his mouth.

'I can't,' Sam spat out blood and stared up at the man, 'my leg won't hold me up.'

'Get up.' This time it was a short sharp kick to Sam's numb knee, 'you can move it so get the fuck up.' Randal spat at Sam.

'I can't.' Sam screamed back using all of his upper strength he pushed against the older man sending him flying across the room. 'Now leave me alone!'

'You little shit.' Randal pulled himself up and snapped his neck and shoulders back, his face distorted with rage, he grabbed a length of chain and stalked towards Sam he tried to push himself backwards using his good leg to manoeuvre with. Randal covered the area in two strides and gripping Sam's arm tightly he pulled his captive to a sitting position a hard blow to the back of his head momentarily stunning Sam giving Randal just enough time to retie Sam's hands in front of him and then loop the chain through the rope effectively putting his prisoner on a leash.

'Ya gonna walk or I gonna make ya but you aint gonna fox ever again.' The man hissed, his spittle spraying over Sam's face.

Swallowing deeply Sam watched in horror as the old man fixed the length of chain to the back of motorbike. The realisation hitting him like a sucker punch, 'this is crazy I told you, I have partial paralysis, but it is fixable.' Sam screamed but his words held little or no impact on the old man's intent. Desperately trying to push himself up to stand, Sam fell hard sideways, winding him. Blearily he stared where the old man kicked out his frozen knee. The joint swollen and stiff making his jeans stretch tight around it.

'Please Sir you have to listen to me...' Sam choked out, but it was too late as the man kicked started the bike and revved it up, 'Last chance shit-head.' He laughed over his shoulder before taking off in a cloud of dust, dragging Sam helplessly behind him. After travelling for a few minutes, the man braked and turned to stare at Sam. 'You gonna get up yet?'

Sam blinked and groaned in agony, his body ached all over and he was sure that every bone had been broken. 'I can't.' he whispered but trying to stop the abuse he managed to lever himself up onto his haunches and then with his numb leg straight he staggered to balance on his good one. Swaying he tried to keep upright but he knew that he was fighting a losing battle.

'Stay there don't you dare move.' Randal snarled as he got off the bike and strode over to Sam, 'hmm seems you can do what you're told when you have to.'

'I ... can't ... stay ... upright.' Sam whimpered, 'please I – I ...' his words froze in his throat as he felt his good knee gave way and he toppled to the ground, a hoarse scream wrenched from deep within.

'Worthless, fucking worthless piece of shit.' Randal ranted kicking Sam's paralysed limbs viciously, 'you got no right to breathe the same air as me, fucking piece of worthless scum. Why don'tcha just crawl away and die.' Sam rolled away from the attack trying to put some space between them, needing to catch his breath. Spitting out a large globule of blood and muck Sam felt shivers running over his exposed skin, his clothes damp from the grass beneath him and the drop in temperature of the night air. 'Dean, I'm so sorry.' He whispered as he closed his eyes and tried to block out the attack.

Then suddenly as quickly as the assault started it stopped, Sam opened his eyes open a fraction and he tried to focus on his surroundings. A cold mocking laugh made him freeze and hold his breath, a cold chill passed over his heart, squeezing it cruelly. 'Ah Sam my dear sweet lamb, how lucky to find you already on the sacrificial altar of pain.'

'N-n-no you're gone, you're gone!' Sam whimpered, 'please leave me alone.'

'Oh how I have missed you Sammy baby, but I'm back!' the voice mocked him even further, as Sam squeezed his eyes shut and tried calm himself down, 'nah ah, you're not going to slip away from me now sweety, just when it's time to get reacquainted.'

'L-l-leave me be.' Sam cried out feebly pushing himself away. 'Oh you are so cute when you're in pain ... I do remember when I took your memories from you ... it was delicious.'

'Get the fuck away from me.' Sam cried out, his terrified gaze falling on the body of Randal, 'wh-what did you do?'

'Oh he was annoying me, he served his purpose.' The demon shrugged, 'he got you away from your guard dog.'

'Get away from me.'

'When I heard that you were partially paralysed my heart stopped, well if I had a heart it would've stopped beating.' The demon rang a sharp nail down Sam's cheek, 'you are just too cute for words.'

'I thought I told you to leave the Winchesters alone, they are my property.' A loud voice boomed, cutting through the air like rolls of thunder.

'M-Master I want him back, he's my toy.' The demon cowered sulkily wrapping a clawed hand around Sam's wrist.

'Get back to the shadows I'll deal with you later.' A large clawed hand waved on the edge of Sam's periphery sight, 'now.'

As his awareness started to fade Sam felt the grip ease off and the presence gone, leaving him alone with the body of Randal and the yellow-eyed demon. 'Dean I could really do with some help right about now.' Sam muttered as unconsciousness finally descended and carried him away to blissful darkness. The laughter wrapped around him in a sulphuric blanket. 'Now, just have to get the guard dog to sit up and play ball.' It laughed as it disappeared with Sam, leaving the body of Randal lying next to the motorbike, his neck twisted and broken; he stared unseeingly at the night sky while lying on his stomach.

tbc


	20. Chapter 20

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

CHAPTER 20

Dean stared angrily at the body in front of him; the stench of sulphur still reeked in the night air. 'Fuck.' He muttered toeing the body in frustration. 'Fuck, I can't even get a shot in myself for what he did to Sammy and me.' Dean moaned.

'Dean focus dude we have to work out what happened to Sam.' Caleb laid a gentle but firm hand on Dean's shoulder and made the younger man look up at him. 'We can resurrect him later if you want to take pot-shots at him but at the moment we have to focus.'

'Yeah, yeah you're right.' Dean ran his hand through his hair and then scrubbed at his face trying to clear the invisible webs clinging to him. 'Sulphur means only one things Cal.'

'Yeah but which one and why.'

Easing himself onto his haunches Dean tried to lean forward for a closer inspection, 'Cal there's blood here, lots of blood ... but it looks like there's been at least two demons here, one on either side of ...'

'Dean, man that motorbike had chain connected to it, the chain has bloodstains.' Caleb reported reluctantly, not sure of what Dean would do after hearing the information. 'Dean?'

'Yeah? That bastard he must have ... dragged Sammy behind that's why there's so many drag marks.' Dean muttered taking Caleb's proffered hand he stood up shakily and lurched towards the body of Randal. Viciously Dean kicked the corpse, venting his rage and feeling of incompetence.

'Do you mind, this is a fresh body.' A caustic voice came from the mouth of the body. Startled Dean stepped back and watched as the body reanimated the neck cracking noisily as the head returned to the right position facing forward. 'Hey Dean long time and all that ... so you want your Sammy back in one piece?'

'Where is he? And I thought that you were dead!'

'Ah gone but not forgotten, nah gonna take more than that to kill me off.' The demon bragged, 'so listen I know that you made a deal with the devil to get Sam's mind and memory back. And well I just wanna apologise ... for you know taking them in the first place, it's just ... well it's just that I wanted a piece of Sam to keep for myself.'

'Anyone tell you that you're a sick bastard?' Dean quipped, 'where's Sammy?'

'Umm well it's like this, I did nearly get him for myself,' the demon pouted, 'but the Master turned up and it's like, he's mine and get lost which I don't really appreciate but hey he's the Master so what's a demon to do?'

'Where did he take him?' Dean growled advancing menacingly on the possessed corpse.

'Hmm not too sure, the Master was pretty pissed especially at the old dude who did so much damage to young Sam.'

'Damage?' Dean repeated distantly. 'What damage?'

'Hmm a few broken bones, busted knee, cuts, bruises, the usual after a beating and after having someone drag ya around behind a motorbike. Quite the sadist really, the old dude.'

'Yeah right a real prince,' Dean snarled gripping the demon-human throat tightly, 'where is Sam?'

'Master took him like I said but not to his dimension, nope he took him somewhere close he wants ya to come and find Sam.'

'He wants me?' Dean asked his face hardened even more as he thought of Sam being used as bait for him. 'Why?'

'How the freaking hell should I know? I'm only a shadow demon, I'm not in the inner circle, I just get told what to do and do it.'

'And take whatever or whoever you want.' Dean added maliciously, 'don't forget that.'

'How can I?' The demon sighed, 'young Sam, he's just too cute and tasty and I want him back.'

'Whatcha gonna do throw a tanty?' Dean taunted him, with a hard push he sent the demonic corpse flying across the yard. 'What do you think Caleb?' He turned to face the silent hunter.

'He wants you to come and rescue Sam, that much is true so he's hold up won't be far from here. Do you know of any local warehouses or factories that have been abandoned?'

'Nope but Bobby will, can you go and see him at the hospital?'

'What are you going to do?' Caleb asked his eyes narrowing suspiciously as he watched the play of innocence and malice on Dean's face. 'Dean?'

'I'm gonna question our friend once more.' Dean said his voice low and controlled. His eyes flashing dark and bottomless with pent up emotions.

Caleb opened his mouth to say something but then decided not too, he turned and started back to the house, 'hey Dean?' stopping and turning around Caleb stared at his friend, 'we're gonna get Sammy back, I promise.'

'Yeah I know.'

'Hey dude don't get yourself killed before we do okay.'

'Okay.' Dean answered distractedly as he advanced on the demon possessed body.

* * *

Sam watched the demon pace the factory floor with a wary stare. When he came too he found himself lying on a small cot, covered with a warm blanket and his wounds cleaned and dressed. The cot though, was in a cage, dominating the centre of the floor space the cage was high enough for Sam to stand upright and wide enough for him to move around.

The only snag was that his arm and leg were now completely paralysed again prevented him from moving at all.

His good arm encased in a cast itched unmercifully, stiff tape held his rib cage in tightly, his bad leg had a proper brace encasing the damaged knee, and large gauze pads covered the worst of his cuts and scrapes on his back and abdomen. Dejectedly he thought of himself as the poster boy for Acme bandages.

'I know that you are awake Samuel.' The demon turned, his eyes filled with yellow flames as he regarded Sam's condition, 'you are feeling better?'

'Sorry if I seem a little cynical here, but normally you would have me pinned to a wall or something and tearing strips off me, what's changed?' Sam asked his voice sounding dull and thick with pain.

'Ah my poor boy, to be so young and yet so cynical ... what is this world coming too?' the demon mocked him; 'hmm perhaps I should move my plans up and rescue this pathetic excuse for a world now instead of later.'

'What the fuck are you on about?'

'Tsk, tsk Samuel language, have you ever wanted to know exactly why I have waited so long to ... rescue you from your mundane human existence?'

'Bite me.'

'Don't tempt me,' the demon threatened, 'so where was I? Oh, yes, as I was saying your rescue. I was going to wait until your twenty-fifth birthday but hey what's a few months?'

'What is so special about that birthday?'

'Well actually when you are twenty-five years and six months old exactly but I will make sure that you are well taken care of until then.'

'Stop talking in circles and just tell me, I have a headache.' Sam replied trying to sound nonchalant about it, with his insides spinning out of control.

'Oh very well, you see Sammy my boy, your powers will come into full strength the day you turn twenty-five and six months old.'

'What?'

'All of your powers will be fully developed and under my tutelage the world will tremble at your feet.'

'Ah thanks but no thanks, think that I'll pass on the whole domination thing, not really my idea of fun.'

'Think about it Sammy, you and I backed by an army of psychics the world will be our oyster.'

'Dream on, coz it aint ever gonna happen, I would rather kill myself first.' Sam said with as much conviction as he could muster.

'And that is why you are going to remain in that cage until that day.'

'You sick fucking ...'

'Now, now that's no way to talk to your host; I can take your memories again if I need to.' The demon threatened a slow smile forming on the blank face, 'hmm perhaps that is a good idea, starting with a clean slate, no memories to burden you.'

'You wouldn't dare.' Sam gasped horrified at the thought of existing with no memories again.

'Something for you to think about, now I have to go and do ... stuff, be a good boy and get some rest you are going to need it.'

'Can I ask you something?'

'What is it now?' the demon turned angrily but his look softened when he saw the earnest look on the boy's face, 'well I'll be damned you can turn those puppy dog eyes on can't you.' He muttered under his breath as he waited for Sam to speak.

'I just want to know,' Sam started, but stopped when he started to wince with pain, his head thumping viciously behind his eyes, 'ah damn not now.'

'What is it Samuel? A trick? An attempt to escape?' The demon asked suspiciously, as he stepped closer to the cage. Sam dropped to the floor, his good leg unable to provide enough strength to hold his weight as he tried to focus on the face looming in front of him. 'Ah ... I ah ... just wanted ... to know ...ahhh.' the pain intensified as bright flashes of light obscured his vision. 'Why me?' he finished unwittingly as the vision ceased control of his mind and body.

Collapsing to the floor Sam writhed in pain, his eyes squeezed shut as he fought the snaking tendrils of the vision invading his mind. His eyes tracked under his lids, in an extreme version of REM, a low moan escaped through his clenched teeth as the vision finally claimed victory on his senses.

_Bright lights hindered his progress, flashes of lightening filled the sky but there were no clouds about, only a heavy full moon, like a woman heavily pregnant and ready to give birth, hung low in the sky, blood red streaks ran across it and then vanished._

_A young woman sat watching a child playing on a swing, laughing and giggling filled the playground._

_The woman smiled and waved as the child swung higher, 'look mommy.' He squealed with glee. Flashes of red and bright lights swirled dizzily before clearing. The child running to his mother with dirty smudges on his cheeks, his face flushed with laughter and exertion from playing. He laughed as his mom tickled him and held her hand out to him. 'Time to go home honey.' She said her voice soft and lyrical._

_Standing she turned, her hand resting on the small of her back, her stomach swollen with child, heavy and ready._

_'Little longer mommy?' the child asked wanting one more turn on the slide, standing so tantalisingly close to them._

_'No honey Daddy's going to be home soon, we have to go.' She smiled down at him and wiped a dirty cheek with her thumb, 'maybe we can come back tomorrow Dean.'_

_Clouds gathered, heavy looming, threatening a storm as the woman gathered her child in her arms and ran to their waiting car. Solemn faced the child looks back over his mother's shoulder and stares at the man standing and watching them. The man with yellow eyes._

_Flashes bright, exploding in front of him, blinding him. When the light finally cleared, he saw another child playing on the swings, a little girl with bright red hair and inquisitive blue eyes. She giggled and called to her mommy to watch and see how high she can fly. Her mommy stood awkwardly, her hand resting against the small of her back the other resting on the heavy swelling of her stomach, 'come on honey time to go.' She called to the little girl._

_Pouting prettily the little girl came running to her mother, her eyes bright with laughter and her cheeks flushed with the exertion of play. 'Just a little long please mommy?'_

_'No honey, daddy's going to be home soon,' her mother replied, 'maybe tomorrow Susie.' Her mother picked her up and cradled her against her breast as the storm clouds gathered over their heads. The little girl stares solemnly over her mother's shoulder stares at the man standing and watching them. The man with yellow eyes._

Sam gasped for each breath as he opened his eyes and stared around at his surroundings, confused he could still see the little girl Susie in his mind. Angrily he turned to the demon, 'leave them alone ... leave her alone.' He yelled.

'What are you talking about Sam? What happened?' The demon asked curiosity filling his eyes.

'A vision, these stupid visions that you so lovingly call my abilities.' Sam spat out, swiping at the tiny smear of blood on his upper lip, 'leave these kids alone.'

'Tell me Sam, tell me what you saw.'

'I saw ... Dean and my mom, he was little, and she was pregnant with me.' Sam said his voice tinged with sadness, 'at a playground a storm came and you were standing there watching them, Dean saw you. Then it changed ... instead of Dean, it was a little girl with red hair and blue eyes, Susie the same thing with the storm and you standing there watching them. Her mom's heavily pregnant ... leave her alone, she's innocent.'

'Ah you have found another one for me.' The demon smiled.

'No, I haven't.' Sam bellowed furiously smashing his casted arm against the floor, 'you leave them alone, that little girl and that baby are complete innocents you leave them alone.'

'Why Samuel what are you going to do about it?' His captor said mockingly.

Images of a four year old Dean and their mother pregnant with him, flared in Sam's mind, his rage erupting through his broken body. In frustration and fury he screamed and directed his anger at the demon-possessed man on the other side of his cage.

The man flew backwards crashing into the far wall, sliding down the crumbling plaster into a lifeless heap. Sobbing uncontrollably Sam lay where he was, unable to get the images from his vision out of his thoughts. His body no longer existed, the pain gone, his mind fractured as he hid in the darkest recesses, unable to comprehend the fact that he can't do anything to save that little girl and her unborn sister.

The demon launched himself into the air and soared towards the cage intent on teaching Sam a lesson he would never forget, when he stopped in mid-flight and landed just outside the cage. Staring dismayed at the young man lying on the floor, barely breathing, his eyes slitted open, but unfocused and glassy, a thin stream of viscous drool dripped from the corner of his mouth, pooling just below his jaw line.

'Samuel?' The demon called out, 'this is not funny Sam.'

Sam laid still staring unblinking to one side, his body rigid and seemingly lifeless, swearing repeatedly the demon waved the cage away and hurried to his young prisoner and future protégée. 'Sam Winchester look at me.'

Cupping Sam's face in his human hands the demon stared down at the blank eyes and slack jaw, 'Sam look at me.' he repeated but again he had no sign of any response from the traumatised man.

'Fuck this was not supposed to happen.' The demon roared, cruelly pushing Sam away he stood up and started to pace as he fought to control his rage. When he stopped and turned to face the catatonic young Winchester, a cruel smile twisted on his lips. 'But, then again a clean slate to work with, an empty mind to mould ... ah perhaps this little breakdown of yours Samuel is just thing that will make you absolutely mine.'

tbc


	21. Chapter 21

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

CHAPTER 21

_'Look Dean, look what I did for you!'_

_'Wow Sammy that's great, it's a picture of us huh?'_

_'Yup there's you an' me an' daddy an' that's mommy she's an, an angel.' Six year old Sam Winchester held the prized picture up to his brother's face, pointing at each figure dramatically. 'Miss Williams says I did the bestest picture in the grade.'_

_'That's great Sammy, really great.' Dean said trying to hide his sadness at the way Sam drew their mother._

_'Whatsa matta Deanie? Why's you sad?' Sam asked solemnly putting a small hand on his brother's cheek._

_'Nuthin', nuthin' Sammy now go watch your cartoons will ya, I gotta get dinner.'_

Sam blinked his eyes and stared around warily, lost in the memory he tried to find Deanie with his stare but his brother was hiding again. 'Dean?' he whispered a sob hitched in his voice. 'Make the owies go away Deanie.'

'What is happening with him?' A loud and cruel sounding voice sounded making Sam jump and squeeze his eyes shut wanting whoever it was to go away. 'Why is he not responding to his training?'

'I am at a loss Master, he was as you said empty but now ... it seems that he is reliving his childhood in his mind.'

'But he had no memories left, he was completely catatonic and brain damaged.'

The other man muttered under his breath, and surreptitiously moved away from the demon Master. 'I do not know what to tell you Master.'

'Don't yell please.' Sam cried out cringing at the anger surrounding him, 'where's Dean? Where's my brother?'

'He is on his way Sam.' the Master said as he moved closer to the bed, 'tell me Sam what do you remember?'

'You're mean, you hurt me.' Sam pouted turning his head away, keeping his eyes closed he wanted to forget the creature standing over him. 'I want Dean.'

'How old are you Sam?' the man asked grabbing both of Sam's upper arms he squeezed them viciously, 'look at me boy.'

Sam slitted his eyes open and glared up at the man, 'I want Dean.'

'How old are you?'

'How old do you think?' Sam retorted angrily.

'The way you're acting, five.' The demon shot back letting himself get into a power play with Sam.

A small triumphant smile played on Sam's mouth, 'huh you know nothing.' He mumbled falling asleep, he never realised that his broken body was now restrained on the big bed and he had no way of leaving even if he wanted to.

'Watch him carefully; I want to know if that this is real and part of his breakdown or if he is trying to fox me.'

'Yes Master.' The man acquiesced nodding his head, his small beady eyes darting from the bed back to his Master.

The demon snarled and disappeared in a waft of sulphur and other noxious fumes, 'so Sam Winchester are you just foxing the Master or are you really broken in your mind?'

Sam's eyes fluttered open at the sound of the voice and he stared at the man standing next to the bed. 'Who are you?' he asked innocently.

'I am Doctor Mac, how old are you Sam?'

'That other guy kept asking me that.'

'Well, you see you have been umm sick and we are worried that you might think that you are younger than you really are.'

'What kind of doctor are you?' Sam asked.

'Oh I am a doctor of everything I guess, I do what I have to do.'

'Oh, where's Dean?'

'Who is Dean?'

'My big brother,' Sam said with utter conviction, 'he looks after me.'

'That is nice of him isn't it?'

'Not really, Dad says he has to coz there's lots of bad men out there that want to hurt me.'

'Why would they want to hurt you Sam?'

'Coz I am special.' He confided in the man, 'but I don't like being special.'

'Why Sam? I thought it would be great being special.'

'Nope coz people always get hurt, an' it hurts me in here.' Sam tried to lift his good hand to his head, a small cry followed when he couldn't move his arm. 'What's wrong with me?'

'It's alright Sam; the Master just wanted you to be safe so he put restraints on your wrists and ankles so you wouldn't fall off the bed and hurt yourself.'

'I'm not like that I don't fall outta bed. I don't like these.' Sam cried his large green luminous eyes filling with tears he stared miserably at the doctor, 'that demon's a bad man he tied me up.'

'Calm down Sam, now if I undo the one holding your good hand will you promise to behave?'

Sam nodded silently, his gaze fixed on the doctor's face as he moved around the bed to undo the restraint. Small in stature as well as build, the doctor reminded Sam of a rat, with his pointy nose and small beady dark eyes.

'Do you mind if I sit down while we talk Sam?' Doctor Mac asked pulling up a chair closer to the bed.

'Nope I guess not.'

'So Sam what do you remember about what happened when you first came here?'

'I – I was hurt bad, an' then that bad man with yellow eyes he got mad with me and I got really, really mad with him.' Sam paused and cast a wary eye around the room, 'is he still here?' he whispered.

'Nope, the Master has gone for now he has other business to take care of.'

'Good, I got mad with him an' then my head hurt.' Sam said ending with a small whimper, 'it hurt so badly.'

'Do you remember the vision ... I mean dream that you had?'

'Uhhuh, I saw kids playing with their mommies and that bad yellow eyed man was there.' Sam said solemnly, 'why does he like to hurt people?'

'Not sure Sam, guess that's what he does.'

'That's bad.' Sam yawned, 'so tired now.'

'Sam how old do you think you are?'

'I am ... four ... no twenty-four.' Sam pushed the words out, his face creasing with a deep frown. 'Tired now.'

'Okay Sam you sleep, it'll all be better when you wake up.'

'Doc?'

'Yes Sam?'

'Where's Dean? Why isn't he here?'

'He's coming Sam, he's probably just held up.'

_'Daddy where's Deanie?' Sammy sobbed his little fists clutched at his sides, his feet wide and legs straight, anger, and hurt built up into a rage inside of his small slight frame._

_'Deanie is in the hospital Sammy you know that.' John replied exasperated with his six year olds constant questioning._

_'Why did he get hurt? Where was you daddy?'_

_'Sammy we have been through this already, the ghost hurt Dean while daddy was trying to stop it, by burning and salting the bones. Dean was supposed to have stayed in the car.'_

_'How comes I can't see him?'_

_'Because you have been sick with the measles Sammy, we don't want Dean to get sicker do we?'_

_'No guess not.'_

_'So?'_

_'I knows daddy, I'll be good.' Sammy sighed, 'give Deanie a big hug for me.'_

_'Yeah I will.'_

_'Daddy, is mommy looking after Dean?'_

_'Mommy is in heaven Sammy.'_

_'Yeah I knows that, but she's a angel an' I knows she's looking afta Deanie.'_

* * *

Dean stared dispassionately at the body lying at his feet, or what remained of the body, swaying slightly he pulled out the salt and a small flask of lighter fluid and dumped it on the body before the demon has a chance to escape. 

Limping towards the house, Dean shrugged slightly and pulled his jacket tighter around himself as a light rain started to fall, 'great, just freaking great.' He muttered as he headed around the house to the waiting impala out the front. His baby was always reliable even if the weather wasn't.

It took a minute for him to register that his cell phone was ringing, the small screen lighting up the name of Caleb. 'Hey man what's up?' he mumbled sinking wearily into the driver's seat.

_'Bobby's coming home, signing himself out of the hospital; he wants you to wait for us he knows where the demon is most likely to be.'_

'Already know dude.'

_'Dean, listen to me, you're hurt and Sam's hurt wait for us ... please.'_

'Aint gonna work Cal, you don't have Sammy's puppy look.'

_'Dean we're going to be there soon, I'm pulling out of the hospital car park as we speak.'_

'Dude, I can't ... Sammy's hurt an' my fault.'

_'Dean you're not making any sense dude.'_

'So cold Caleb, so fucking cold.'

_'Dean where are you?'_

'Impala.'

_'Can you get back to Bobby's house?' _

'Cal? Gotta ... cold ... Sammy.'

_'Dean? Dean?'_

Caleb screeched to a halt just outside Bobby's house, leaving the grumbling injured older man in the car he pushed the door open and bolted straight to the impala still parked nearby. 'Dean!' Caleb called out, his heart pounding against his chest in fear of what he might find. 'Dean? Fuck it Dean what's going on man?' Caleb asked when he found Dean slumped over the steering wheel. Tenderly he eased the young man back to rest on the seat so he could assess any new injuries. 'Fuck me.' he breathed when he saw the blood pouring freely from the bullet wound, the stitching he so carefully did before now non-existent, new bruises littered the right side of Dean's face and he had dried blood flaking on his upper lip from a nosebleed. 'Damn it Dean, why didn't you wait for me.'

'Shoulda seen tha otha guy.' Dean mumbled incoherently, 'hey Cal whatcha doin?'

'Getting your sorry ass inside.' Caleb muttered, 'can you walk?'

'Hey Cal ... I smoked the bastard, burnt and smoked him.' Dean said proudly waving his bruised and cut hands in air. 'Lousy fucking bastard doing that to my Sammy.'

'Okay Dean, here we go up and at em.' Caleb eased his arm around Dean and helped him to stand up.

'Ah fuck it hurts.' Dean moaned the movement pulling on his gunshot wound.

'Yeah well so does life then we die, so whatcha gonna do bout it?' Caleb muttered as he helped Dean inside and settled him on the sofa before hurrying back to help Bobby with his awkward crutches.

'Damn two invalids now,' Caleb growled growing increasingly agitated with each second.

'Don't cuss at me boy.' Bobby snarled, 'I can hold my own.'

'Dean's gone into shock, and he's lost a helluva lot of blood.'

'Should be in hospital.'

'Yeah well you can tell him that, I aint, not while Sammy is still missing.'

They found Dean hunched over a bucket, throwing up violently, one hand weakly clutched to his wounded side. 'ahh this is crap.'

'Nope not really, wrong end.' Caleb couldn't help himself taking small advantage of Dean's vulnerability.'When  
you're finished reacquainting yourself with your last meal I'll restitch that wound of yours.'

Dean moaned a intelligible response and dropped back on his haunches, his face now tinged with green, his eyes bloodshot and watery. 'Gotta go find Sammy.'

'Sit down.' Caleb ordered gently pushing on Dean's shoulder until the young hunter was leaning up against the sofa. 'Okay this is gonna sting.'

'No fucking kidding.' Dean yelped while Caleb washed down his side, with a mix of antiseptic and warm water, the contents of the basin soon turning a pink colour.

'Man you can bleed.' Caleb observed, 'Vamps must love you.'

'Ha, freaking ha.'

After cleaning the wound and surrounding area, Caleb took up the sterilised needle, thread, and expertly closed the gaping hole with neat little stitches. 'All done.'

'Thanks man.' Dean mumbled sleepily, 'mean it dude.'

'Hey Dean no sleeping on my watch.' Caleb tapped Dean's face, 'that's it open those bedroom eyes.'

'Aw Cal never thought you cared.' Dean said as he felt his eyes get heavier, 'let me sleep.'

'Nope no can do, come on Dude, think of Sammy ... we have to help Sammy.' Caleb knew it was a low blow to bring Sam into it but he had to make sure that Dean stayed awake and coherent for a while anyway. 'I'll make some coffee, extra sweet.'

'Dean you with me son?' Bobby asked as Caleb went to make the first round of what will end up being many rounds of coffee for the night.

'Yeah, Bobby ah how you doing?'

'Better than you by the look of it.'

'So sorry bout all of this Bobby.' Dean said wincing as he shifted position slightly.

'There's Tylenol as well.' Caleb said pushing a mug of coffee into Dean's hand and the tablets into the other. 'Take em.'

'Yes Mom.'

* * *

'Hey Sam you with me now?' Doctor Mac shook Sam's shoulder slightly, the young man writhed in the bed, twisting the sheets around his shattered body, sweat glistened on all of his exposed skin, and his cheeks had bright red smudges on them. As he writhed, another groan escaped from Sam, the nightmare refusing to let go of his mind just yet. 'Dean!' the primordial scream startled the doctor as Sam started to fight the restraints, his screams now just collections of sounds, incoherent and filled with anger and pain. 

'Sam wake up.' He shook him a little harder now, relieved when he saw the green of Sam's eyes through the slits. 'That's it Sam wake up.'

'Dean?' Sam blinked and stared at the doctor, confused he tried to work out who the man was. 'Doctor Mac?'

'Yes Sam, you were having a nightmare.'

'Where's Dean?'

'I honestly don't know Sam.'

'Leave me alone.' Sam demanded, feeling irrational and angry, 'leave me the fuck alone.'

'I can't Sam I'm sorry but I have been ordered to stay with you.'

'Yeah well then you're a fool then aren't you?' Sam spat out venomously, 'what else do you do for your precious Master?'

'What was your nightmare about Sam?'

'My whole freaking fucked up life.' Sam laughed bitterly.

'Want to talk about it?'

'No I don't want to talk about it.' Sam said rolling his head away from the doctor's touch. 'What's the use of talking? No one listens to me anyway.'

'I will I promise.'

'No! No promises, no more promises! No one keeps their promises to me.' Sam cried out.

'No more promises then Sam.'

'Why are you being nice to me? Your so-called Master won't be happy.'

'I am here to look after you Sam that's all.' The Doctor explained calmly, intrigued in the young man's sudden temper and irrational behaviour. 'Do you feel like talking now?'

'Do you feel like untying me?'

'I can't I'm sorry Sam.'

'Well then I can't talk either, sorry Doc.'

'Can't or won't Samuel?' the yellow-eyed demon asked as he appeared standing at the end of Sam's bed.

Sam glared at him silently as though to prove his last comment. 'So we have gone from child to surly brat have we?' the demon commented more to the doctor than to Sam. 'If there is no improvement in twenty four hours then you will implement the other training.'

'What the freaking hell do you mean by that?' Sam demanded, unable to stop himself, but the demon ignored him choosing instead to continue talking to his lackey.

'Start with two injections a day to make sure that he is pliable and then use the sweep.'

'Yessir.' Doctor Mac said unable to meet Sam's enquiring gaze.

'It is a shame that you are not co-operating Samuel, it would have saved you a lot of pain.'

'Ah in case you haven't noticed, I am in pain already, injuries here!' Sam snarled his voice dripping with sarcasm, 'oh that's right you don't care what happens to me as long as you have control of my special gifts.'

'Samuel.'

'Don't Samuel me, if you think that you can force me to have visions for you think again, they've gone, all of it, just a big nothing, zero, a black hole, it's all gone. you fucking ripped me apart and expect me to be able to perform for you? I have nothing left in me, nothing special, no visions nothing, it's all gone.' Sam dropped his head back on the pillows and turned his head away, 'it's all gone.' he repeated in a whisper.

'Doctor?'

'I have no idea Sir; it could explain his catatonia, his regression, and extreme anger if he no longer has the abilities if they have been burnt out so to speak then ...'

'He could be worthless to me?' the Demon screeched, his anger radiating out heating the room and filling it with a choking sulphurous smoke.

Sam laid back and stared at the ceiling, an uncontrollable urge to giggle filled him, winding its way through him, until the laughter exploded from his mouth. Tears ran freely down his face as he realised that he had finally lost it.

'Shut him up!'

'I-I can't Master, not without sedation.'

'Then what the hell are you waiting for?'

Doctor Mac, shook his head and muttering to himself, went to prepare the small injection for Sam, as he waited the demon watched Sam carefully, still not sure if Sam was foxing all along or if he had really had a breakdown and lost his gifts in the process.

The small built doctor came shuffling back and hesitantly pressed the needle into Sam's bicep. The sedative working its way quickly through is system, and Sam slowly stopped laughing, the last remaining giggles coming out more like hiccups as his eyes fluttered shut and unconsciousness finally took hold.

'If he has lost his powers Doctor, then we use him as bait for his brother and then ... sacrifice the pair of them to Father, of course that is after you cut him up and find out exactly what went wrong. I am going to check on my latest acquisition.'

'Sir?'

'I have a new family, young Susie who shows great potential as a warrior and her unborn sister, who already has the aura, I have the family here as my ... guests.'

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

* * *

CHAPTER 22

_'Are you Dean Winchester?'_ the stranger's voice asked again, Dean clutched at the cell phone and tried to calm his rapid breathes, it was Sam's cell but not Sam calling.

'Who is this?' He rasped 'where is my brother?'

_'My name is Doctor Mac, I am sorry I don't have a lot of time, are you Dean Winchester?'_

'Yes, yes I'm Dean Winchester now where the fuck is my brother?'

_'He is here with me, I am the one assigned to take care of him.'_

'Where is here?'

_'Do you know Balkins Road?'_

'Balkins Road?' Dean repeated the road's name aloud for Bobby to hear, the older man quickly nodded his head yes. 'Yeah what about it?'

_'At the end of the road there is a fork, the right leads towards the next town, the left looks like a dirt track, go left and follow it until you come to an abandoned farm house at the end, used to be Balkins dairy farm, there's a barn at the rear of the farmhouse. That's where your brother is being held.'_

'Why are you telling me this? How do I know that it's not a trap?'

_'One moment please ...'_ the phone went silent for a moment and Dean started to cuss under his breath when a weak but oh so familiar voice came on the other end.

_'Dean?' _

'Sammy? Sam is that you?' Dean cried out.

_'Dean ... the doc... he's ... he's okay.'_ Sam managed to get out, _'hurts.'_

'Sammy?' Dean yelled his panic rising and fast turning into a full-blown panic attack.

_'I'm sorry Dean he's seems to have passed out again, please hurry ... I don't know what the Master will do if he finds out I have called you.'_

'Why?'

_'Sam doesn't deserve this.'_ The doctor said before cutting the connection.

Starting to hyperventilate Dean collapsed back onto the couch behind him as he fought to control his breathing. Caleb appeared seemingly out of nowhere with a brown paper bag, 'breathe into this Dean.' he ordered the younger man.

As Dean started to regain control, he straightened his shoulders and scrubbed his hands over his face, 'okay we know where Sammy is.' He said in his best 'soldier' like voice and wearing a carefully placed mask of calm, though it only thinly veiled his raging emotions and temper.

'Dean we can't go storming in there, you're injured, and Bobby is out of action.' Caleb started staring pointedly at Bobby's cast.

'Hey might be down but I aint out.' Bobby protested gruffly, 'I can still drive the truck and I can still shoot.'

'We need to do some recon on the farm and research why would the demon think of there?'

'Don't fucking care I'm going to get my brother and bring him home.' Dean declared standing on not-so-steady legs.

'Yeah right and one gust of wind and you're on your skinny ass.' Caleb threw back at Dean, 'look we have to do this smart, Dean I shouldn't have to be telling you this. Your daddy drilled this stuff into you as a kid.'

'Yeah thanks for reminding me ... not.' Dean grumbled, 'okay so what you gonna charge in on your own Caleb? No fucking way.'

'So what else do you suggest? The longer we stand around bitching with each other the longer ...'

'Will you two shut the fuck up?' Bobby snarled, 'Dean get on the computer check local records and find out about the farm, Caleb take the truck and do some recon but no on any attempt on a rescue without backup. You hear me boy?'

'Yes I hear you old man.' Caleb shot back, 'alright recon in and out.' He agreed reluctantly before snatching the keys and disappearing.

'Why does he get to go?' Dean pouted as he settled in front of the computer.

'You research ... damned itching leg gonna be the death of me.' Bobby grumbled trying to find something thin enough to poke down between his skin and the cast.

------------

'Thanks Doc.' Sam whispered a small grin formed as he held a shaking hand out to the doctor, 'it was good to hear Dean's voice before ...'

'Before nothing Sam, now you get some rest please.'

'Doc ...'

'What Sam what is it?' The doctor returned to Sam's bedside when he saw the younger man wince and squeeze his eyes shut.

'Doc ... ah hurts ... bright lights.'

'What is it Sam?'

'Argh.' Sam's back arched as a bolt of pain flared through him, originating from behind his eyes and reaching as far as his feet.

'lights, bright ... play ... girl ... red!' Sam screamed incoherently then his pain ravaged body convulsing under the new onslaught. His overwrought muscles contorting and knotting, blood streamed from his nose as he screamed again and then he slumped back on the bed. Barely breathing his eyes fluttered open for a few seconds before they slid closed and unconsciousness claimed him.

The doctor sat down on the edge of the bed in shock, he was sure that he had just witnessed Sam having a vision but it was so violent and painful he had to wonder if they were going to end up killing him.

'Doc?' Sam's hoarse whisper brought the man's attention back to his patient.

'Sam are you alright?'

'That little girl he has her doesn't he?' Sam asked his eyes filled with tears, 'it's too late isn't it.'

'I think so, what did you see?'

'The little girl so scared and alone, wanting her mommy.'

'Did you see where she is?'

'Small room, no windows, but well lit, it was actually brightly lit.' Sam frowned as he recalled the vision, 'she was on a mattress against a wall, curled up in a little ball crying and wanting her mommy. She's so scared Doc.'

'Well, well what do I have here?' the demon appeared on the other side of Sam's bed, 'it seems that our little psychic is starting to feel better.'

'Go fuck yourself.' Sam snapped.

'Oh please Sam I really haven't got the energy to fight with you at the moment, just tell me something was it a vision?'

'Dunno depends on what you think a vision is.' Sam quipped back. 'All I saw was a very frightened little girl, you sadistic bastard.'

'What else?'

'Nothing.'

'Do not lie to me Samuel.'

'I am not lying to you ... all I saw was a very frightened little girl wanting her mommy.' Sam snapped back, 'for God's sake let her be with her mom.'

'It is not as simple as that Samuel; you see she has to be trained first.' The demon started and then stopped himself, 'no you are not going to lure me into giving all of my secrets away. Seeing that he is awake and more like his old self then it is time Doctor.'

'Time for what?' Sam asked his gaze moving between the human-wearing demon and the human doctor. 'What is going on?'

'He is not strong enough yet Master, you could destroy him completely.'

'And this is a problem how?'

'Hey ah don't I get a say in this?' Sam asked interrupting the discussion raging over his bed.

'What do you remember of your time with me before Samuel?' the demon asked Sam, smiling benevolently at his prisoner.

'Not much, I still have a lot of missing memories. I do remember though a lot of pain.'

'What else?'

'Loneliness.' Sam whispered more to himself than to answer the question, 'I felt so lonely it hurt.'

'What else?'

'Darkness.'

'What else?'

'Head hurts ...' Sam whimpered squeezing his eyes closed he turned his head away from the voices and felt himself floating away.

'What is going on Doctor?' the demon snapped bending down he gripped Sam's shoulders and shook him violently but his prisoner remained limp and unresponsive in his hands. 'What is happening Doctor?'

'I warned you that this would happen.' The doctor snapped forgetting who he was speaking to for a moment, his concern for his patient over-riding everything else.

'Fix it.' The demon hissed dropping Sam and letting him fall lifelessly onto the bed the demon reached over and gripped the doctor's arm, with a scorching touch. 'Fix it now.'

'I – I'm not sure that I can Master ... please my arm ... you're burning me!' the doctor cried out his knees buckling with the pain.

'Fix it or die doctor your choice.' The demon hissed before he disappeared in a waft of smoke and sulphur.

The doctor dropped to his knees cradling his scorched forearm to his chest, tears fell down his face as shock started to set in. Finally, after what seemed like hours the doctor roused himself and went to dress the burn before he started to treat Sam's return to catatonia. Silently he prayed that Dean would come and help his brother before the demon succeeded in killing him.

_'Sammy come on Dad says we gotta go.'_

_'Why?' _

_'Coz it's time.'_

_'No Dean wanna sleep, don't wanna go.'_

_'Sammy please Dad's gonna get mad if you don't come now.'_

_'Sleepy Dean, just wanna sleep.'_

_'What's wrong Sam? It's time to get up and have breakfast ... you want some lucky charms don't you?'_

_'Nope just wanna sleep.'_

_'Sammy please Dad's got the car already packed we have to go.'_

_'Hurts Deanie.' _

_'Where?'_

_'All over, hurts ... my tummy hurts.'_

_'Hey don't cry Sammy, tell me where does it hurt?'_

_'My tummy an' my head an' so hot.' _

_'Crap Sammy you're burning up.'_

_'Wanna sleep Deanie, please let me sleep.'_

_'I gotta get Dad.'_

_'No, no I'll be okay.' _

_'Boys what is taking so long? Sam what are you still doing in bed?'_

_'Dad Sammy's sick.' _

_'I's alright Daddy promise.'_

_'What do you mean sick?' _

_'Tummy hurts Daddy, head hurts, so tired just wanna sleep.'_

_'He's burning up too Dad.' _

_'Sammy? Come on son wake up ... wake up for Daddy Sam ... Sammy?'_

The doctor held the hypodermic syringe ready to inject, when Sam started to writhe on the bed, covered in a sheen of sweat he started crying and mumbling in his sleep.

Cries of 'Daddy', 'Deanie', and 'wanna sleep' filled the air startling the medic. In his dreams, at least Sam has reverted to his childhood again. And by the look of his physical state and obvious distress, it was not a pleasant memory.

_'Don't wanna stay here Daddy.'_

_'Just for a couple of days until the doctor says that you're better.'_

_'But I is now Daddy.'_

_'Sammy, the doctor said that you have a bad infection in your bladder and you have to have lots of medicine to get better.'_

_'What's a bladder Daddy?'_

_'It's ah ... where your body makes ...'_

_'Where your pee comes from Sammy, isn't that right Dad?'_

_'Yes Dean something like that.'_

_'That why it hurt to go toilet?'_

_'Yes Sam, now the doctor said you would have been sick for a while to get as bad as you are now ... why didn't you tell me or Dean?'_

_'Didn't want to make you mad Daddy ... an', an' I didn't feel so sick then an' I wanted to go ... when you said I could go on the hunt ...'_

_'Sammy you tell Daddy or Dean if you get sick okay ... doesn't matter what it is.'_

_'Okkies Daddy.'_

_'Hey it's alright kiddo just that Daddy gets so worried when you get sick.'_

_'Daddy?'_

_'Yes Sammy?'_

_'Can I still go on hunts with you and Deanie?'_

_'Well we'll see when you're feeling better.'_

_'But I feels better now.'_

_'Sammy!'_

_'Daddy!'_

Sam's eyes shot open and he stared at the doctor with no recognition in his eyes, 'where am I?' He rasped, 'why am I tied down? Who are you?'

'What do you remember Sam?'

'Sam? Who is Sam? Where am I? Who are you? Who am I?'

TBC


	23. Chapter 23

Who am I?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

**Author's Note:** This is the last chapter of Who am I? I am planning a sequel at the moment and will have it up in as soon as I can. It will be set a little down the track and will be about the rescue of the little girl and Sam finally regaining his own identity.

* * *

CHAPTER 23

The ragtag rescue team watched the farmhouse with unrelenting determination, Caleb's recon had been successful they now knew where Sam was and that was the main thing. But they still had to get past the demonic guards.

'Okay boys you're gonna have to move fast, Dean you sure you're up to this son?' Bobby stared hard at the oldest Winchester boy.

'Yeah Bobby, I'm fine.' Dean declared though silently he wondered if it was more for his own benefit than Bobby's. 'What are you thinking Bobby?'

'Simple you two get in the back of the truck, and I'm gonna just drive straight in.'

'Just drive? Bobby?'

'Don't give me that look Dean Winchester, you just concentrate on getting your brother outta there, I'm gonna drive straight through the defences hoping to take em by surprise and I'll hold em off as long as I can but you two get Sam and get back to the truck that's it, we take care of the demon another day.' Bobby glared at Dean, knowing damn well, what the young man was thinking, 'no revenge today Dean just a snatch and grab rescue.'

'We do this for Sam.' Caleb said also fixing his stare on Dean, who looked at both of the other men and then conceded to their demands, knowing that none of them were physically and or mentally able to face the demon this day.

'For Sam.' Dean whispered hoarsely, 'let's do it.'

Bobby started the engine and sat revving it for a few minutes, his foot fixed firmly on the brake as he let the truck roar to life, his gaze drifted to the rear of the vehicle where Caleb and Dean hid ready to go. Releasing his breath in time with the brake Bobby floored the truck and started to hurtle towards the demon's compound.

Skidding to a stop in a cloud of dust and stones Bobby opened fire randomly giving cover for Caleb and Dean to make a dash for the building where Sam was.

'I'm coming baby brother.' Dean whispered as he shot a guard at close range with the rock salt loaded rifle.

------------

'What was that?' the doctor mused as he finished examining Sam again, as the sound of gun fire echoed through the building.

'Dean's coming.' Sam said quietly, a solemn look on his face.

'Sam?' the doctor asked staring at his patient confused, Sam couldn't remember his own name but he could remember his brother?

'Don't worry doc, it's all going to be okay now.' Sam said smiling up at the other man, the innocent look and blank eyes gone; in their stead was a look of sheer faith and determination, his green eyes shining with hope. 'Dean's here.'

'Sam do you remember who you are?'

'Sam, that's what you call me.'

'Dean? Who is Dean?'

'My saviour.' Sam said with a wider smile the innocence returning to his face.

Loud voices came from the other side of the door and Sam's smile grew wider, placidly he lay there watching and waiting for his saviour to rescue him. Doctor Mac stared down at Sam in shock, either the young man was indeed one hell of an actor or he had really lost his mind as well as his memories.

'See doc Dean's coming.' Sam exclaimed happily. 'Deanie's on his way.'

The door shattered into pieces and two bloodied but determined looking young men burst through, 'Sammy?' one with shorter spiked dark blond hair and emerald green eyes pushed past the doctor and dropped to his knees next to the bed, his fingers tracing down the side of Sam's face.

'You Dean?' the doctor asked trying to regain some semblance of professional composure.

'Yeah ... you Doctor Mac?' Dean asked gruffly not taking his eyes off Sam.

'Hey Deanie.' Sam said smiling brightly, his eyes shining with complete innocence. 'I knew you come.'

'Hey Sammy ... Doc is he right to go?'

'I ah don't recommend Sam try to walk at the moment, his paralysis is still a problem, and he has been slipping in and out of a catatonic state.'

'What else Doc?' Caleb demanded watching the man closely, 'can we trust you?'

'I assure you that I have only had Sam's best interests in mind, the Master has been torturing him with mind games more than physical pain although he has done that as well. Sam has slipped from being a small child to an adult to someone who has no memories at all.'

'Come on Sammy, we gotta get you outta here.' Dean said ignoring his own injuries and the looks of concern on the other men; he slipped his arm under Sam's knees and the other cupped around his back. With some difficulty, he managed to lift Sam, surprised at how light his brother was now, and cradled him against his chest.

'Let's get going ... Doc you coming with us or what?'

'Coming.' Doctor Mac said not willing to stay and face the Master on his own.

With Caleb taking the lead and the doctor last they made their way back to Bobby's truck. The older man heaved a heavy sigh of relief when he saw Dean staggering out with Sam curled in his arms. A look of immediate distrust and recognition flashed over his face when he saw the so-called doctor following them. He waited for Dean to slide Sam into the truck and climb in next to him before he spoke. 'Dean he aint coming with us.'

'Who Bobby?'

'That so-called doctor.' Bobby spat the words out like poison, 'he aint coming.'

'Bobby?' Doctor Mac stopped suddenly and stared at the driver of the truck, 'Is that you?'

'Get away now Tom and no one will be hurt.'

'Please Bobby I – I just want to make sure that Sam's ...'

'What? That he can't remember anything?' Bobby snarled aiming his rifle at the doctor, 'turn and run Tom and never look back.'

'You're making a mistake Bobby.'

'Now Tom.'

The doctor looked at Dean with an imploring stare but Dean never doubted Bobby and told the doctor to leave now before Bobby did fill him with shot. Caleb took his position in the back of the truck and yelled for them to get going.

Bobby put the truck into gear and floored it out of the farm, knowing that the escape was a little too easy but his only thought was getting Sam away from his demonic captors. He risked a glance at the youngest Winchester, and his breath caught in his throat. The trusting look in Sam's eyes made him cringe, he had seen Sam go through a lot but this was ... unsettling.

Carefully they carried Sam into Bobby's house, while Caleb checked the area to make sure that no one followed them. Propped up on Bobby's sofa Sam looked peaceful and at least pain free, but it was that unwavering, childlike innocence that got both Bobby and Dean.

'Don't leave Deanie.' Sam whispered clutching Dean's hand desperately with his good hand. 'Don't leave me.'

'Not going anywhere Sammy.' Dean replied his voice tinged with exhaustion and sadness.

'Where ... where are we?'

Bobby's house.'

'Bobby?' Sam frowned as he tried to remember Bobby, 'cars?'

'Yeah he has lots of wrecked cars.' Dean said giving Sam an encouraging smile.

Sam glanced up at the older man hovering in the background, raising a shaking finger he pointed him out, 'Bobby?'

'In the flesh Sam.' Bobby grinned and then ducked his head and went to rustle up some food for them.

'Dean?' Sam looked up at Dean worriedly, 'what's wrong Dean?'

'Nothing Sam ... just glad you're home.'

'Pain? You in pain?' Sam asked though it sounded more like a statement.

'Tired.'

'No pain.' Sam insisted his hand resting on the bullet wound site, 'pain here.'

'Sam how?'

'You hot.' Sam persisted in assessing his older brother's condition. 'You got fever.'

'Just tired, Sammy how about we take a look at you.'

'Sammy hurt too Deanie.'

'Sam?' Dean focused on Sam's face a look of panic on his own, 'Sam you okay?'

Sam shook his head and winced, 'yeah just things are jumbled in here.' Sam hit the side of his head frustrated. 'What's wrong with me Dean?'

'The freak messed with your mind Sammy but we're gonna get you better.'

'Why can't my arm and leg move?' Sam asked prodding his numb arm with his good hand. 'Feels funny.'

'Hey, hey no poking Sammy, the feeling will come back.' Dean chided him gently.

'Deanie ... where's daddy?' Sam yawned and settled back against the cushions his eyes drifting shut, 'don' wanna stay in hos'tal Deanie.' He mumbled.

'Sh just go to sleep Sammy, it's gonna be a lot better soon.' Dean said soothingly, brushing his brother's fringe out of his eyes, 'I promise.'

'Hmm okkies Deanie.' Sam mumbled as sleep finally claimed him. Dean sat watching his brother sleep, all the lines of pain and confusion gone from his face, he looked angelic, and so innocent falling into a deeper relaxed sleep. His long fingers curled around Dean's hand linking the two brothers once again. Yawning Dean slid to the floor next to the couch and rested his head against Sam's side, their hands still together and let the sleep fairies come to visit him. Dean's eyes snapped open _'dream fairies? What the?'_ he couldn't believe that was what drifted through his mind as he settled back and dropped into a dreamless sleep.

Sam's screams echoed through the quiet house waking all of the inhabitants, except himself. Caleb and Bobby came thundering downstairs with guns drawn when they found Dean trying to rouse Sam from the grip of his night terrors.

'What the fuck?' Bobby breathed lowering his gun the same time as Caleb. 'Is he alright?'

'Nightmares, I think he's dreaming ... he screamed out motorbike and then chains and then he...'

'Woke the whole countryside.' Caleb finished for Dean, 'shame we can't raise that old bastard and drag him behind a motorbike before salting and burning him again.'

'Dean?' Sam's sob made his brother turn back to face him, tears ran down Sam's flushed cheeks, 'why Dean? What did I do to him?'

'Nothing Sammy you did nothing to him, he was just a crazy old bastard.' Dean said thickly, his own emotions nearing the surface.

'He shot you.' Sam cried his fingers grasping at Dean's shirt, 'he shot you coz of me.'

'Hey Sammy, I'm fine see I'm here and I'm fine.'

'And, and he hurt Bobby.' Sam turned his teary stare up at the hunter with his leg still encased in a heavy cast.

'Sam we're all going to be alright and so will you be.' Bobby said as gently as he could, 'he can't hurt anyone anymore.'

'He, he's dead?' Sam whimpered, 'my fault.'

'No Sam don't you dare say that,' Dean said slightly harsher than he intended seeing the look form on Sam's face, 'you were nothing but the victim in all of this. That old bastard got what he deserved; he can't hurt anyone ever again.'

'Dean?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'The Demon he – he threatened to take my memory again and make me like him.' Sam whispered the last bit, 'I don't want to be like him.'

'You're not ever gonna turn into anything like him Sammy I promise.'

'He – he took the little girl.'

'What little girl?' Dean asked a sinking feeling formed in the pit of his stomach.

'The little girl from the playground, from my vision he used me to find her.' Sam muttered as his eyes slid shut and he fell into a dreamless sleep.

---------------

Bobby strode through the door with a wide grin on his face and his leg cast free. 'Good as new.' He declared to his semi-permanent visitors, over the last few weeks he has become used to having the boys with him, a ready made family for the lonely hunter although when their bickering got out of control he craved to be on his own again.

'So you can really kick Dean's ass now?' Sam quipped looking up from his computer.

'Oh you are so dead now Samuel.' Dean barked back teasingly. He was so happy to see Sam looking and sounding stronger; although, still unable to move properly and had to rely on the wheelchair to get around, he was improving every day.

Sam chuckled softly and then returned his attention back to the computer screen in front of him. Chewing his lower lip he scrolled through the information at a blurring speed.

Curious to know what has his brother so intrigued Dean got up and went to stand behind Sam, his breath catching when he saw the screen. 'Sammy what do you think?'

'I have to find her Dean.' Sam said refusing to meet his brother's glare. 'It's my fault he has her and there is nothing you can say or do to change my mind.'

'It's probably too late Sammy.'

'No, no I won't believe that, Dean she was only four years old.' Sam snapped frustrated with his limited movement and recurring memories Sam lashed out at his brother. 'I saw her in a room with no door but really bright light, she was curled up into a ball trying to protect her eyes and crying for her mommy, I can't shut my eyes without seeing her.'

'Sammy, you're barely well enough to look after yourself let alone to find a missing little girl. As much as I want to help her too, I have to help you first.'

'Dean...' Sam started then he winced and pinched the bridge of his nose, 'argh Dean I ...'

'Sammy? What is it? Vision?'

'Dean argh, hurts ... hurts my head Deanie.' Sam whimpered, throwing his good arm around his sibling's waist he pushed his face in against Dean, 'don't want it to hurt anymore.'

'Sh it's okay Sammy it's okay.' Dean said soothingly as he rubbed circles on his brother's back, worried for Sam's fragile sanity still. Whenever he had a bad dream or a vision, he would revert to a childlike Sammy.

'Don't leave me Deanie.' Sam cried tightening his grip on his brother's shirt.

'Hey Sammy not going anywhere but you're squeezing a bit hard there dude.'

'Sorry.' Sam sniffled and pulled away slightly, 'the little girl's mommy is having her baby and the – the demon is there an' Doc Mac.' Sam stared up at Dean, his eyes filled with his deep seated misery. 'The doc lied to me didn't he Deanie?'

'No Sammy, it was just that Bobby knew him and they don't like each other so it was better that the doctor didn't come with us.' Dean explained praying that Sam didn't see through the transparency of his white lie.

'Why the doctor with the demon still, if he didn't want to be there anymore?' Sam persisted.

'Not sure Sammy, but I think you have had enough time on the computer, how about we go and get some lunch?'

'Sure.' Sam nodded his head but made no move to shift away from the table, instead Dean went around to the handles and pushed Sam's wheelchair away and out to the kitchen, worried that his brother was sliding backwards again.

'So whatcha feel like Sam?'

'Don't care, you pick Deanie.'

'Okay how about a good old BLT?'

'What's BLT?'

'Ha oh you are so in for a treat Sammy,' Dean grinned as he parked Sam's chair at the kitchen table and went about to get the ingredients he needed for their sandwiches.

'Deanie?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'I'm sorry...'

'For what?'

'For being so silly,' Sam sighed, 'I – I try really hard to remember everything and to be Sam.'

'I know dude and I am really proud of you.'

'What – what if I don't get better?'

'Sammy,' Dean started turning to face his brother stopping himself when he saw the look on Sam's face. A look of complete desolation. 'Sammy, you have had a lot of really bad things happen to you, by other people and creatures. Your body needs time to heal and so does your mind and memories. It's okay to slide backwards sometimes and remember being a little kid. It will all come back just like your using your arm and leg.'

'Do I smell bacon cooking?' Bobby asked coming in from outside, 'let me guess BLTs?'

'Yep.' Sammy grinned up at the man, 'Dean's making them.'

'Sounds good to me, I'll just go wash up.'

'Caleb gonna join us?'

'No Sammy remember ... Caleb has gone on a hunt and will be back in a week.' Bobby reminded him as gently as he could wary of how quickly Sam could go into an emotional meltdown.

'Oh yeah ... I remember.' Sam rubbed at his eyes tiredly, 'might go lie down for a while.'

'You okay Sammy?' Dean asked dropping the fork he hurried straight to his brother's side; Bobby silently moved to take over the cooking.

'Just tired,' Sam gave Dean a wan grin, 'need a nap.'

'Okay but when lunch is ready I am going to come and get you.'

'Deal.' Sam nodded stifling a yawn he let Dean wheel him into the living room and then help him onto the couch.

'I'll just be in the kitchen okay Sammy?'

'No probs Dean thank you.' Sam said between yawns, 'just need a nap.'

-------------

Dean sank into a kitchen chair and put his arms on the table resting his head on them, he felt so old all of a sudden.

'He is going to get better Dean, he is each day.'

'I know Bobby, but why him? Why Sammy? He just seems to be a magnet for trouble.'

'Just the way of things son nothing you can do about it but be there when he needs you.'

'Fuck it Bobby I just want my Sam back, sometimes I dread talking to him coz I don't know which one is going to come out.'

'Dean...'

'Sorry I didn't mean the way it sounded ... geeze Bobby what kind of brother am I?'

'A human one.' Bobby said laying a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder, 'can't expect nothing more Dean, you're not superhuman.'

Sam lay back with his eyes closed and listened to the conversation in the next room, Dean had left the door open to keep an eye on Sam, and it allowed him to hear everything said.

Tears scalded his eyes as the guilt rose exponentially; he didn't want Dean to be so upset anymore. Sleep now gone from his thoughts he turned his head to stare at the wheelchair by the end of the couch. If he could get himself into it and prove that he could look after himself then Dean wouldn't have to worry anymore.

Dean could go hunting with Caleb and not have to worry about him, with that thought in his mind Sam carefully pulled himself up with his good hand gripping the back of the couch, once upright he waited for the buzzing to ease in his ears before he pushed his numb leg off the seat. Sitting on the edge of the cushion Sam took a deep breath and reached over to the chair.

------------

Dean's head shot up when he heard the crashing sound coming from the living room, closely followed by Bobby, they found Sam lying on his side on the floor the wheelchair tipped over, and a small end table crushed under it.

'Sammy?' Dean breathed rushing to help his brother up.

'No Dean I can do it.' Sam snapped embarrassed he pushed Dean's hand away and awkwardly twisting he managed to get a grip of the seat and pull himself up to a seated position on the floor his paralysed leg splayed at an awkward angle and his chest heaving with the effort.

'Sammy?' Dean tried to help his brother but was this time shoved away. 'What the freaking hell is wrong with you?'

'No Dean, I can do this, you don't have to worry bout me.' Sam panted, 'just gotta rest.'

'Stupid stubborn idiot.' Dean snapped, 'you could've hurt yourself.'

'But I didn't.'

'Bitch.'

'Jerk.' Sam grinned up at his brother and held out his good hand, 'okay you can help me this time, and dunno what I am sitting on.'

'Oh funny Sam now you are attacking my housekeeping?' Bobby muttered righting the chair he stared down at the small table now lying in shattered pieces. 'And a furniture wrecker.'

'Sorry Bobby really.' Sam said the humour leaving his voice.

'No worries Sam, didn't like it anyway.' Bobby lifted his head wearing a wide grin, 'you did me a favour.'

'Dean, Bobby I ah thanks.' Sam said dipping his gaze to fix on a spot on the floor, his cheeks flaming.

A screech of tires made the three men stare at each other in silent horror 'could be Caleb.' Bobby said finally breaking the sudden quiet.

'Bobby? Dean? You guys in here?' Caleb called sprinting into the house and colliding with Bobby.

'Damn it Cal slow down son before you have a coronary.'

'The demon ... he's back.' Cal panted as he collapsed against Bobby, 'that Doc Mac is with ...'

'Caleb?' Bobby called out frantically checking the younger man for injuries but found none. 'Must just be sheer exhaustion.' Bobby looked up at Dean and then shifted his gaze to Sam, 'you boys alright?'

'We're going to be.' Sam said softly, 'and we'll be ready for him won't we Dean.'

'You bet Sam, we're in this all the way.' Dean said placing a comforting hand on Sam's good arm and squeezing it slightly. 'All the way.'

THE END FOR NOW


End file.
